Nooooooo, fuck shit cocksucker!
I wasn't paying attention and fully opened the lid of the white pepper shaker instead of just opening that top part with the little holes in it and accidentally dumped way too much white pepper onto my fried rice. Omg, it ended up being a sucess too...............except that it's got so much white pepper in it now that it's fucking spicy, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's a white pepper spicy, which means that it tastes weird now.
Welcome to the first day of Butterbattle's Cooking Corner! (or BBCC for short)
Since this is the first day, I've got to make something ridiculously simple so no one has to call the fire department. I'm asian, so I guess we'll start with some white rice. If I can't cook white rice with stir fried stuff, I might as well lose my asian card.
Yay. I hope I put the right amount of water in there.
When I was a little kid (5 or 6), I remember that I loved stir fried eggs and tomatoes. The juice from the tomatoes gave the eggs a subtle sweet flavor that I liked. Plus, it was so easy that my mom could cook it without messing it up. So, let's go with that.
I think I did pretty good job cutting the tomatoes. Although, I didn't keep the pieces together, so when I tried to cut it the other way, there was a bit of struggle.
And that's that......except, having only white rice and eggs and tomatoes feels bland somehow. Soooooooo
Turkey bacon! It's not a full meal until I've murdered an animal after all.
I just bought vegetable oil. I have a vague concept of some health conscious people in the back of head telling me I should've gotten the expensive olive oil, but....whatever.
Well now.....this feels very awkward. How do I even begin this post?
Um, so as you all know, I'm butterbattle (pst, not my real name).
I love food: sushi, curry, pork ribs, McDonald's, squid ink pasta, blood pudding, fried crickets, anything and everything. I like to think that I have an extremely wide palate and have eaten far more types of food in far more countries than my fair share. However, even though I love food, I don't know how to cook, which is a sad sad thing. I have identified two main reasons for this. 1) My parents never taught me how to cook. When I was younger, I felt bad that I never learned enough from my parents. As I got older though, I realized that they never made much of an effort to teach me things. Also, I gradually discovered that my mom is actually pretty shitty at cooking. 2) I've never had my own kitchen as an adult. I'm in the military, and I've been mostly living in the barracks up to this point.
But, a few weeks ago, I moved into my own apartment, and, for the first time ever, I have my own kitchen and a comfortable paycheck. Ergo, no more excuses; I can't just blame shit on my parents. I'm going to start cooking.
It took me long enough, but I finally got the book published. Bible Studies from an Asshole isn't another atheist book that ridicules religion for wrecking the world. Instead it gives an emic view of Christianity from intensely deep studies of its passages, and then shows how they have completely failed in fulfilling them.
On a personal level, yes, but I mean on the level of Christianity's political intention. People don't realize that Christianity formed to unite people to destroy the empire of Rome in the same way that the Occupy Movement did to fight against Wall Street. And yet it failed at this, which is the reason why not one single thing from the prophecies of doom will ever come to pass. I prove they were talking about their own times, and that they failed in their goals. And that the failure continued into our very day.
I reveal what the "Original Sin" actually is, and how Christianity has spread it upon the earth like jelly. I reveal who the four horsemen actually are, and how we've had so many more horsemen since then. I reveal what the "Mark of the Beast" actually is, and laugh about how every single one of us has actually had it all our lives. Turns out, it's not really all that bad. Nobody I know would give it up anyway.
But mostly, I reveal how rather than bringing us the Kingdom of God, they've reduced that Kingdom into smoldering ashes. Sorry folks, but while the gospel is "good news," I have the bad news. The Kingdom of God is dead. Christianity fucked up and killed it.
There is a reason I at times characterize Christians as, well, Nuts.
I mean aside from the whole belief in someone Rising from the Dead [cue 'Dark Shadows' style organ rift...]. But a kind of built in, deep seated neurosis based on opposing concurrent beliefs.
They hold the concept of "Original Sin", in which we are all BORN vile, evil and totally deserving burning for eternity, or at the least, for those liberal christers who don't read or don't agree with the bible, an unavoidable inborn predilection for being naughty. The bible says that 'none are righteous, no, not one" and that all our righteousness is as "filthy rags" (that would be the rags used to wipe ones ass) In other words, all our attempts at BEING good are shit.
Now couple this esteem lowering bit of self loathing with the incredible Egotism and Narcissism of those who think the Universe and everything in it was made Just For Them. And the cool part is, they believe by following a prescribed ritual of debasement, atonement and general celestial ass kissing, they are due a Golden Ticket to ETERNAL bliss, happiness and a type of Mind Wipe that precludes any possibility of guilt or regret over past actions.
This part is where I point out the LACK of anything resembling a 'moral compass' being involved. One does not have to be good, in fact, as pointed out, one can not BE good enough to get in the gate. One must perform the mandatory ass kissing, which in and of itself is the sum total of Christian Morality.
How Does A Materialist Account for Logic?
"How can you account for axioms in a materialistic universe? What part of your brain are axioms located in? Can you actually point to some neurons and say 'these are what the axioms really are'? Also, since the axioms of math are carried around in people's heads, are there really millions of little axioms of math running around? Finally, how come you also call an axiom written on the page the axiom' and the axiom in your head 'the axiom'? After all, paper isn't a bunch of neurons, and you are a materialist after all..."
Let's take this apart, piece by piece:
How do you account for the 'laws of logic' in a materialistic universe?
Some Guy on the Street: "Hey, you got a minute?"
You: "Sure, what do you need?"
Guy: "Well I'm just here to let you know, that because at some point in ancient history, one of your ancestors pissed off my Dad, (who's immortal and invisible), I must kick your ass daily at say, 4:00 PM for the rest of your life."
You: "That seems rather harsh..."
Guy: "Well yes, but Dad's word is law."
You: "Any way I can talk you out of this butt kicking?"
Guy: "Yes, but it will require you to hit me in the face with this shovel."
Guy: "Yes, seriously, it's the only way to get Dad to forgive you."
You: "But, in spite of the threat of a daily pummeling, you seem to be a nice enough guy, I don't WANT to hit you in the face with a shovel."
Guy: "It's Ok, you won't REALLY hit me in the face, I'll stand behind this light pole, and you close your eyes and swing."
You: "But, isn't that sort of cheating?"
Guy: "Nah, your eyes will be closed, who knows, you may get in a lucky shot."
You: "And that will do it, I mean, make your Dad forget about it?"
Guy: "Yes, that and you have to kiss my ass."
Guy: "Yep, I'll just drop trou' right here, and you plant a smooch on whichever cheek suits you."
The basis for Western religion is magic, pure and simple.
The believers never couch it in such terms of course, that would be silly.
The Magic of bronze age savages, slinging blood from the severed throats of birds to cure disease, talking to flaming shrubbery, stopping the sun in its march across the sky so an army can slaughter a few more people.
Their prophet spoke to angels in a cave, flew around on a winged woman-beast and visited hell and heaven. He spoke to ants. Magic.
Their savior got a room full of drunks more intoxicated at the behest of his mom. Spit in the eyes of blind people to cure them, fed a stadium full of people with a loaf of wonderbread and some tuna... In the end, he raised himself from the dead, haunted his followers for a bit then flew off to the skies. Magic.
You would think we'd have grown past it by now...
Let's be honest...
ALL of you Theistically Challenged people that haunt these boards are liars.
You lie to us, your families, friends, co-workers and most of all, you lie to Yourself.
You KNOW you don't really believe in MAGIC.
You KNOW you don't believe people can rise
from the dead, bugger around a bit then fly off to the skies. You KNOW you don't.
Just as you KNOW you don't believe in talking snakes and magical gardens with cursed fruit given to little naked rib-women...
Further, you know damned well you've never had a 'personal experience' with any supernatural entity.
Oh, you may have felt giddy once or twice, but most of your claims are so that you can be part of the cool kids and be accepted because THEY all claim to have had personal experiences too.
They are lying, just like you...