prostitution

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prostitution

Ok, so what is your opinion about prostitution? As you might know, NY Gov. Spitzer is in trouble because of a 1910 law against crossing state lines for prostitution. I bet that law was passed by the same bible thumpers who eventually got prohibition passed. I honestly don't see what is wrong with prostitution as long as the prostitute (male or female) is doing it of their own free will. If two people want to do it, I don't care, it's not my business. I don't see it as "immoral" b/c the whole idea of it being "wrong" comes from the church.


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Quote:Hamby this wasn't

Quote:
Hamby this wasn't directed at your so I'm afraid I'm a tad confused.  I don't think the issue is black and white at all.  I took issue with the fact that EXC appeared to blaming women solely for any breakdown in a relationship.

I was agreeing with you.  EXC is doing the black/white thing.  I was showing that the thing is much more complex than he's making it seem.

 

 

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Well hey...

If that's how women want to go about making money, I don't care.


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Hambydammit wrote:Never

Hambydammit wrote:

Never assume dichotomy when it doesn't necessarily exist!

 

Ok, fair enough.  If the ACT of prostiution is morally neutral, what do you think of the institution of prostitution or the lifestyle of prostitution?

 

I can't help but notice that your arguements FOR the morality of prostitution hinge on the notion that the person has little or no good options.  "The least of all evils" is hardly a good case for arguing the morality of prostitution.  What makes anything moral or imoral hamby? 

 

I have already admitted that I don't know the answer to that question. 

It seems to me that all your long-winded answers and research are dancing around this basic question.  If you know the answer, please tell us.  If you don't, then just admit that you have your opinion and I have mine.  Otherwise all your intelectual posturing simply amounts to a bunch of long-winded showing off.


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I posit that "morality" is

I posit that "morality" is simply a set of rules set down by a society as a part of how it tries to maximize its survival and in being so is subject to change, bad information and manipulation.

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Otherwise all your intelectual posturing simply amounts to a bunch of long-winded showing off.

Never assume dichotomy when it doesn't necessarily exist.

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


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Hambydammit

Hambydammit wrote:

Quote:
Hamby this wasn't directed at your so I'm afraid I'm a tad confused.  I don't think the issue is black and white at all.  I took issue with the fact that EXC appeared to blaming women solely for any breakdown in a relationship.

I was agreeing with you.  EXC is doing the black/white thing.  I was showing that the thing is much more complex than he's making it seem.

 

I am not blaming anyone. I'm only blaming irrational thinking which seems to be more prevalent in women. Here is how I see the problem.

The challenge men have is getting the girl. The challenge women have is in keeping a man. If you're a young and pretty woman with no kid, guys will be on you like flies on shit. With guys you got to be more than young and handsome to get an attractive women. We learn we got to make money, impress the girl with material things, talents, conversation, etc... In other words, we got to work our ass off to get any. We have the burden on us to get the girl. We get used to it being very competitive to get a good women.

Women have the opposite problem. They can get a guy, then they got to keep them. After they get older, have children, the sex get monotonous, then they have a big challenge to keep the man working hard to take care of her, children and keep him faithful. Many women get bitter about this change in the dynamics. They don't like the competition.

But the hard cold facts of nature and reality is that the burden shifts to the woman to make the relationship work. It's not a matter of blaming anyone, this is just how nature works. Some women learn to deal with this and work harder to make the marriage work. Some just get bitter and blame men for changing and breaking their promise.

But we've got religion and feminism telling us this is not the way things should be. Telling us that nature fucked up, these men are evil. So they need to tell men that cheat they are going to Hell or tell them they are complete scumbags and make sure they get screwed in divorce. Making prostitution illegal is part of the attempt to make this reality go away, to force men to stay in marriages they are unhappy with just to get laid.

So I'm not blaming anyone. I just want to make others aware of the reality and then deal with it. Women need to be taught to accept this reality. If they don't like this, don't get married. If they do get married and have children, educate them with the truth. Feminism is bullshit cause it tells us men and women are the same. Tells mothers not to educate their daughters with this truth.

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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There's a story about George

There's a story about George Bernard Shaw (I think) where he approached an attractive woman and offered her a very large sum of money to have sex with him.  She agreed, and then he asked if she would do it for ten dollars.  The woman replied, "Of course not!  What do you think I am?"

"Madam," Shaw replied, "We've already established what you are.  Now we're just haggling over the price."

Whether it's true or apocryphal, and whether I'm remembering correctly that it was Shaw, it illustrates an interesting aspect of this whole question.  Does the price change the morality of it?

Just for shits and giggles, suppose someone offered you, oh, I don't know... a hundred thousand dollars to go on a weekend getaway and have sex with him all weekend.  He showed you a negative HIV test, a box of condoms, and let you do a criminal background check on him, etc.  Would you do it?  What if your husband or boyfriend agreed?  If a hundred thousand isn't enough, make up whatever number is enough.

If you did that, and your best friend asked how you got all that money, do you think she would think you immoral for doing it?  I mean, damn... you're set for the rest of your life.  Do you think it would be immoral for you to do it?  If not, what makes it ok?  The overwhelming payoff for such a small thing on your part?  (Assume he's decent looking.)

If you can think of a situation that's acceptable enough for you to do it, cut that number in half.  Would another woman be immoral for taking only half as much as you?  What about a tenth as much?  What about a thousand dollars?  A hundred?

Is it possible that our moral outrage is based on the idea that the price paid for sex is not high enough?  Then again, if pretty much every woman is capable of selling herself, competition's going to drive the price down, right?

Or, is it possible that our moral outrage stems from an instinctive aversion to granting women permission to control men so directly?  They already get to turn us down in bars.  How horrible would it be if they started giving us menus with prices?  Want a blowjob?  That's going to cost you a hundred dollar dinner.  All nighter?  Better save up, buddy!

This wouldn't happen, of course, because most people date for mutual benefits.  But what kind of effect would it have on society if people who weren't particularly interested in a relationship could openly go to a brothel?  Might it have some positive benefits?  How many people do you know who are in a crappy relationship, but prefer that to being alone?  Is it possible that some men would simply not have girlfriends when they weren't ready for them?  Might the availability and social acceptability of prostitution actually encourage healthier relationships?  Without feeling desperate because they haven't gotten laid in six months, might some young men pass up that girl they really don't like all that much, but would probably go out with just to get laid?

Here's another question.  Studies have clearly demonstrated that abstinence only education is a failure.  The best approach to sex ed is a comprehensive approach, including detailed information about contraceptives, STDs, abortion, and pregnancy.  When we give people as many options as possible, they tend to make better decisions for themselves.  Are we causing problems by taking away the possibility of trading sex for money?  With sex ed, people have sex at about the same rates whether it's abstinence only or comprehensive.  The thing is, with better options, they have safer sex.  If prostitution was both legal and acceptable, wouldn't we see the same kind of thing?  All the respectable places would have regular tests for the girls, and would insist on 100% condom use.  They'd have bouncers in case any customers got out of hand, just like every bar you go to.  There would be unions and healthcare and benefits.

Would this be worse than the way it is now?  

I'm speculating about all this, not trying to make an argument.  We can't begin to answer these questions effectively until we start with a clean slate, assuming that selling sex for money is open for investigation, and that our preconceived notions about it might be wrong.

 

 

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EXC wrote:I am not blaming

EXC wrote:
I am not blaming anyone. I'm only blaming irrational thinking which seems to be more prevalent in women.
oh really.
EXC wrote:
Here is how I see the problem.

The challenge men have is getting the girl. The challenge women have is in keeping a man. If you're a young and pretty woman with no kid, guys will be on you like flies on shit. With guys you got to be more than young and handsome to get an attractive women. We learn we got to make money, impress the girl with material things, talents, conversation, etc... In other words, we got to work our ass off to get any. We have the burden on us to get the girl. We get used to it being very competitive to get a good women.

Women have the opposite problem. They can get a guy, then they got to keep them. After they get older, have children, the sex get monotonous, then they have a big challenge to keep the man working hard to take care of her, children and keep him faithful. Many women get bitter about this change in the dynamics. They don't like the competition.

But the hard cold facts of nature and reality is that the burden shifts to the woman to make the relationship work. It's not a matter of blaming anyone, this is just how nature works. Some women learn to deal with this and work harder to make the marriage work. Some just get bitter and blame men for changing and breaking their promise.

I think the weak part of your argument is equating relationship with sex. Sex is only part of a relationship (well, part of a relationship likely to last at any rate). Another weak bit is the idea women still need a provider. Gobs of single mothers out there doing very well for themselves and their children without the former husband helping.
EXC wrote:
But we've got religion and feminism telling us this is not the way things should be. Telling us that nature fucked up, these men are evil. So they need to tell men that cheat they are going to Hell or tell them they are complete scumbags and make sure they get screwed in divorce. Making prostitution illegal is part of the attempt to make this reality go away, to force men to stay in marriages they are unhappy with just to get laid.

So I'm not blaming anyone. I just want to make others aware of the reality and then deal with it. Women need to be taught to accept this reality. If they don't like this, don't get married. If they do get married and have children, educate them with the truth. Feminism is bullshit cause it tells us men and women are the same. Tells mothers not to educate their daughters with this truth.

I think you have an odd view of feminism. Where there are plenty of irrational man-bashers out there who use the feminist label, feminism is about being treated as equal citizens - as in "all men are created equal" meaning equal treatment under the law and equal opportunity. The facts about sexual selection don't enter into it.

Really, EXC, if a man feels the need to leave a relationship over sex alone - why did he get married in the first place? Sure, there was a time that getting sex without stigma meant needing to get married, but that time's long gone for the most part. The "power" of sex as a factor in marriage has eroded without legal prostitution anyway, as has the idea any woman "needs" a husband to provide.

I don't think this "reality" you want us to "deal with" actually exists.

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


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Quote:But the hard cold

Quote:
But the hard cold facts of nature and reality is that the burden shifts to the woman to make the relationship work. It's not a matter of blaming anyone, this is just how nature works. Some women learn to deal with this and work harder to make the marriage work. Some just get bitter and blame men for changing and breaking their promise.

Well, it's actually not exactly like that.  After a man is married, he is still a man, and still has to work to get laid.  Women's instincts don't magically change when they get a ring.  They still have the instinct to have sex with men who impress them, make money, have good conversations, and in general, work their ass off to get some.

To be completely accurate, marriage is something of an artificial boundary.  In a completely uncivilized state, a woman with a slackass man who didn't work for it would simply run off with the next man that sufficiently impressed her.  The thing is, human nature has already worked out an imperfect, but workable solution -- jealousy.   Men know their women are impressed by men even after they have a ring, so they jealously guard their mates.  They also know that sex every couple of days (as opposed to everyday) is still better than the zero sex they're going to get while they are out competing with all the other single guys for the affection of another woman.  So most men, recognizing their average-ness, do enough to keep the woman they've got.

It works in reverse, of course.  Women know that a lot of men are slackasses, or worse.  If they've got one that's reasonable, they try to keep him.  Part of keeping him includes sex.  They also know that other women might recognize his reasonableness, so they jealously guard him. 

Staying with one partner is a delicate balance between jealousy and mutual benefit for both partners.  When either partner contributes less than what is perceived to be equitable, it causes problems in the relationship. 

I hate to say it, but I would guess that your belief that the woman bears the brunt of responsibility for keeping a relationship going isn't winning you too many brownie points.  It certainly doesn't impress women.

Quote:
So they need to tell men that cheat they are going to Hell or tell them they are complete scumbags and make sure they get screwed in divorce. Making prostitution illegal is part of the attempt to make this reality go away, to force men to stay in marriages they are unhappy with just to get laid.

Cheating and prostitution are two separate issues.  A single man having sex with a legal prostitute isn't doing anything wrong by another person.  A married man is lying to his wife, which is definitely harmful to the relationship.  In theory, a married man with permission to go to a prostitute (good luck with that) wouldn't be doing anything wrong.  In practice, permission would have to be accompanied by really being ok with it.  As some have mentioned, there are open relationships that work.  They're just rare.

Quote:
So I'm not blaming anyone. I just want to make others aware of the reality and then deal with it. Women need to be taught to accept this reality. If they don't like this, don't get married. If they do get married and have children, educate them with the truth. Feminism is bullshit cause it tells us men and women are the same. Tells mothers not to educate their daughters with this truth.

Hmm.  Ok, old women with children are less desirable than young women without, but that doesn't mean they're not desirable.  Many forms of feminism do teach a false equality, and I agree that's bad.  However, you seem to be completely stuck on the adversarial part of relationships.  I can't remember reading something positive that you've written about women.  I think your view of relationships is a bit myopic.

 

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Hambydammit wrote:I hate to

Hambydammit wrote:

I hate to say it, but I would guess that your belief that the woman bears the brunt of responsibility for keeping a relationship going isn't winning you too many brownie points.  It certainly doesn't impress women.

Well are we here to impress women or discover what is true and think rationally? Women always say they want men to be honest. Well, sometimes the truth is not what you want to hear. If I wanted to impress women, I could go to church and tell Christian women how much I love Jesus and how faithful I am and how Jesus has cured me of all sexual lust for other women.

Isn't it more a man's responsibility to start a relationship. We have to get the nerve up to talk to a girl, come up with an opening line. Start an interesting conversation. Spend money on the date. Impress the girl. Is this fair. Whether I think so or not is not going to change this reality.

I may want the reality to be women have equal responsibility to start things, pay equally for dates. But this isn't the reality, men just have to deal with it. Women just have to deal with their reality as well, to deny this is irrational thinking.

Hambydammit wrote:

A married man is lying to his wife, which is definitely harmful to the relationship.  In theory, a married man with permission to go to a prostitute (good luck with that) wouldn't be doing anything wrong. 

In general lying is bad. But in some cases, it may save the marriage because men will stay married if they have something different than the monotony of monogamy once in a while.

Hambydammit wrote:

Ok, old women with children are less desirable than young women without, but that doesn't mean they're not desirable. 

Depends on if they mature with rational thinking, accepting reality for what it is. Or they become bitter with angry at men.

Hambydammit wrote:

I can't remember reading something positive that you've written about women.  I think your view of relationships is a bit myopic.

Have I written anything positive about men? Maybe I;m too much of a cynic, but I'm not misogynist. Maybe because women have more responsibility, they are more vulnerable. They have more things to fear and worry about than men. So I can see how they are victimized more by irrational propaganda from religion, feminism and politicians. I don't mean to be cruel or criticize them, I just want to see irrational thinking eradicated. I think this can only be done by facing the cold, hard facts of life.

 

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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Quote:Well are we here to

Quote:
Well are we here to impress women or discover what is true and think rationally?

You missed my point entirely.  Impressing women is how men get them interested in sex.  This is the cold reality that men must face when they're married.  Stop impressing your wife, and you're going to get laid less.

Quote:
Isn't it more a man's responsibility to start a relationship. We have to get the nerve up to talk to a girl, come up with an opening line. Start an interesting conversation. Spend money on the date. Impress the girl. Is this fair. Whether I think so or not is not going to change this reality.

Technically, no.  Women generally have at least a few men trying to impress them.  They choose which one they want, and then there's a relationship.  Yeah, men have to do some work so that they're making themselves attractive (I mean in all ways, not just physical), but to be precise, women decide when the relationship starts.

Quote:
I may want the reality to be women have equal responsibility to start things, pay equally for dates. But this isn't the reality, men just have to deal with it. Women just have to deal with their reality as well, to deny this is irrational thinking.

Yep.  The reality is that women's libido is directly linked to how much they're impressed.  Just as men are 'technically' under no obligation to continue trying to impress their wives, their wives are 'technically' under no obligation to want sex all the time.   Women have a lot of things tougher than men.  Birthing a baby hurts like hell, and it kind of sucks throwing up every morning for nine months, and then being a hormonal wreck on top of it.  If nature has given them any kind of kickback for saddling them with all that nastiness, it's that there's pretty much always going to be an available supply of men who want to impress them.  The cold reality for men is that in an egalitarian system, men have to work to keep their women.  Especially if all the man is interested in is sex, he's going to get the short end of the stick in the relationship.  If it's going to be a broader relationship, both sides are going to have to do more work.

Quote:
In general lying is bad. But in some cases, it may save the marriage because men will stay married if they have something different than the monotony of monogamy once in a while.

This is a harsh reality, but it does happen a lot more than most people want to admit.  I'm sure some would argue that it's better to ditch the relationship and try again, but sometimes there are other factors.   It's not a perfect world.

Quote:
Depends on if they mature with rational thinking, accepting reality for what it is. Or they become bitter with angry at men.

Something I've observed:  Most of the women I've known who were angry at men got angry after men did shitty things to them.  On the flip side, most of the women I've known who were extremely happy with their men were happy because their men were honest and continued to work hard to impress them.

Harsh reality.

Quote:
Have I written anything positive about men? Maybe I;m too much of a cynic, but I'm not misogynist. Maybe because women have more responsibility, they are more vulnerable. They have more things to fear and worry about than men. So I can see how they are victimized more by irrational propaganda from religion, feminism and politicians. I don't mean to be cruel or criticize them, I just want to see irrational thinking eradicated. I think this can only be done by facing the cold, hard facts of life.

I don't want to derail the thread by talking about this.  Maybe in a week or two, I can put together a well-researched presentation.  I don't think you rate particularly high on the misogynist scale, but I do think you have a somewhat male-centered view of things.

 

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EXC wrote: I am not blaming

EXC wrote:
I am not blaming anyone. I'm only blaming irrational thinking which seems to be more prevalent in women. 

Yes you are.  You're blaming women for the any trouble once the relationship has begun.  All the man had to do, according to you, was land the chick.  Once he got her it is her responsibility to maintain the relationship.  Therefore, if any thing goes wrong, it's the woman's fault.

EXC wrote:
But the hard cold facts of nature and reality is that the burden shifts to the woman to make the relationship work.

If the woman has the burden to make the relationship work and it fails - it's the woman's fault.

Secondly, what is this crap about women being irrational/bitter/victimized/vulnerable etc?  I understand that your opinion of women is obviously piss poor but sheesh.  Yes, women tend to react more emotionally than men (that is an entirely different thread) but to paint all of us that way is just ignorant.

EXC wrote:
Isn't it more a man's responsibility to start a relationship. We have to get the nerve up to talk to a girl, come up with an opening line. Start an interesting conversation. Spend money on the date. Impress the girl. Is this fair. Whether I think so or not is not going to change this reality.

No, it isn't a man's responsibility to start a relationship anymore.  Perhaps 50 years ago but times have changed. I've asked guys out on dates.  I've paid for dates and have had dates pay for me.  It's common for women nowadays to approach men.

EXC wrote:
But in some cases, it may save the marriage because men will stay married if they have something different than the monotony of monogamy once in a while.

And what if the woman was bored with the monotony?  Is it just as acceptable for her to go to a prostitute if she's not getting what she wants at home?

JillSwift made some interesting comments as well.  Any reason why you ignored her?

And for the record, I've never grown up with religious propaganda nor do I subscribe to feminist thinking.  I don't think that men and women are equal, per se. 

 

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pariahjane wrote:You're

pariahjane wrote:

You're blaming women for the any trouble once the relationship has begun.  All the man had to do, according to you, was land the chick.  Once he got her it is her responsibility to maintain the relationship.  Therefore, if any thing goes wrong, it's the woman's fault.

You are confusing the way things should be with how they are. Yes, it would be wonderful if men put as much effort into maintaining relationships and fatherhood as they do into getting laid in the beginning. What you wish men's reponsibilty should be doesn't change reality. If you're a young and pretty girl, you don't have to do anything  to maintain a relationship, you have to fight men off. If you're older in a long term relationship with kids, you have to work to keep a man faithful. This may not be fair, but this is reality. If there is anyone to blame, I guess it's Mother Nature.

pariahjane wrote:

Secondly, what is this crap about women being irrational/bitter/victimized/vulnerable etc? 

OK, we get bombarded from the media and many woman about how life is more stressful for women. Woman have more responsibility to take care of children and elderly parents. Women have to work outside the home then do all the housework. Men are lazy deadbeats. Men are predators. Women make less money than men cause society is still sexist.

Is this true, or is life as equally stressful for men? The statistics show that in America, woman are much more religious than men. We always here about church ladies, but not much from church gentlemen. Why is this?

pariahjane wrote:

No, it isn't a man's responsibility to start a relationship anymore.  Perhaps 50 years ago but times have changed. I've asked guys out on dates.  I've paid for dates and have had dates pay for me.  It's common for women nowadays to approach men.

This is still the exception rather than the rule. Maybe women are like this more, but the reality is men have to have a lot going for them to get a girl to have sex with him, women just have to have their looks. But to keep a man you have to have more going for you than your looks.

pariahjane wrote:

And what if the woman was bored with the monotony?  Is it just as acceptable for her to go to a prostitute if she's not getting what she wants at home?

I don't have a problem with it. I only have a problem with making it illegal for her to do this. It would be nice if she was honest and safe about it just like men should be. But society still has irrational hangups about sex from the time before birth control and condoms.

 

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(DISCLAIMER - I just spent

(DISCLAIMER - I just spent 15 minutes writing something kick ass and my fucking computer blitzed on me and I lost it.  Extra added crankiness might be exhibited below.  FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!)

EXC wrote:
You are confusing the way things should be with how they are. Yes, it would be wonderful if men put as much effort into maintaining relationships and fatherhood as they do into getting laid in the beginning. What you wish men's reponsibilty should be doesn't change reality.

Fucking A it took me 15 minutes to respond to this.  Fine, the short version.  Men do need to make an effort in maintaining relationships.  That's how it works.  It is not up to the female to ride the entire marriage.  From what I gather you're saying the guy is required to carry the courtship and the woman is required to carry the marriage.  Courtships usually run about 2-3 years average.  What about marriage?  A fuck longer than that. 

You're giving men a freebie on marriage by stating that it's a woman's responsibility in maintaining it, therefore men are absolved of any blame.  Sorry, that's bullshit.  It takes two to have a relationship.

Frankly, I don't wish for anything.  I know for a fact that relationships can work when the couple works together.  I've seen it myself many times in other people's relationships.  And THAT is reality.  You have a him vs. her mentality of relationships.  I have a him & her mentality.  Mine works better and is more rational and realisitic. And healthy.  Honestly, you sound as if you think women are dirt.

]quote=EXC] If you're older in a long term relationship with kids, you have to work to keep a man faithful.

Bullshit.  If some guy gets a girl knocked up he should have a responsibility for the children at the very least.  If not then he's a douche. 

So, you're saying once you're wife is done having you're children and loses her good looks are gone it's totally cool to split on her.  After all, the man has done his responsibility during the courtship (average = 2-3 years).  It's the wife's problem if the marriage fails in the next 40+ years. 

EXC wrote:
Maybe women are like this more, but the reality is men have to have a lot going for them to get a girl to have sex with him, women just have to have their looks. But to keep a man you have to have more going for you than your looks.

Sometimes I think you think guys are just as dumb as girls (and it's apparent you aren't fond of women). 

You're too stuck in your gender box, dude.  Things aren't even remotely the way you think they are.  It's not just about looks or money anymore.  I'm not saying I'm a looker but I've been turned down because I was too 'nerdy' or 'geeky'.  Or not girly enough.  Seriously, you're reality of life is a wee bit warped.  You sound as if you are living in the 1940's or earlier, where gender roles were strictly prescribed.  It's not the case anymore.

 {edit - I argued a much better case before it got wiped.  so pissed.  Grrrr.  Smiling}

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EXC wrote:This is still the

EXC wrote:

This is still the exception rather than the rule. Maybe women are like this more, but the reality is men have to have a lot going for them to get a girl to have sex with him, women just have to have their looks. But to keep a man you have to have more going for you than your looks.

 

I agree with pariahjane on this one, you don't have to have a lot going for you to get a woman to have sex with you, you just need to have a lot going for you to get a high status woman to have sex with you.  The same is true for women and high status men.  There is a dichotomy though.  Men court and women chose, so the work of courtship falls on men.  A man's level of lust tends to stay relatively constant while a woman's tends to fluctuate with her menstural cycle.  This puts men in a different dillema for getting sex than women are.

 

Women definately have more options, but the competition for desirable mates is present in both sexes, even if it expressed differently.


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I think that the question

I think that the question that applies most is not whether prostitution is immoral or not (if you don't like it; don't do it) but whether it is moral for the government to prohibit.

I see the government's ban of prostition as a statement made by the government to the effect that I am too weak, and too stupid to protect myself and live healthily. I'm perfectly fine with the idea of enforcing contracts, and ensuring basic public safety as a kind of social contract; but the idea that the government should decide my life for me is sickening.

I'm married, my wife is the only person I've ever _kissed_ let alone slept with. But it's no damn business of anybody else to tell me who I can or can't hop in bed with--that's between me and whomever I'm screwing.


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  I want you pariahjane,

  I want you pariahjane, how much for the privlege ?     ((( help save crazy man .....  come on all you goddesess , HELP !  Tease more .... rub it in .... flaunt your stuff, and make them guys promise no more war .....  FUCK IT , give all the money to the girls ......      

 


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I AM GOD AS YOU wrote:  I

I AM GOD AS YOU wrote:

  I want you pariahjane, how much for the privlege ?     ((( help save crazy man .....  come on all you goddesess , HELP !  Tease more .... rub it in .... flaunt your stuff, and make them guys promise no more war .....  FUCK IT , give all the money to the girls ......      

 

Have you been drinking again, IGAY?  LOL. 

Sorry, I'm taken.

Oh yeah, that reminds me I never commented on the whole prostitution thing in the first place. 

I don't think prostitution is immoral or unethical.  I do think that if prosititution were to become legal it would have to be monitored so the women and men who are performing the service are protected physically, emotionally and health-wise.

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I would have to point out in

I would have to point out in my opinion, if a woman doesn't put out she has only herself to blame if her husband looks elsewhere. I would say it goes both ways too -if a man won't give his wife any - or can't get it up and won't do anything to fix it (he could get viagra or something, and even if that doesn't work he can go down on her)  - she has every right to get some on the side.

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Live in reality, not what should be.

pariahjane wrote:

You're giving men a freebie on marriage by stating that it's a woman's responsibility in maintaining it, therefore men are absolved of any blame.  Sorry, that's bullshit.  It takes two to have a relationship.

Again, I have no problems with you saying this is how things should be. But that is not how things work. This is some ideal you have of courtship being a 50-50 proposition and marriage being a 50-50 deal. In the beginning, women just need to bring their looks. Later on in the relationship things are different. If there is anyone to blame, it's Mother Nature(but then she's a woman).

pariahjane wrote:

  Honestly, you sound as if you think women are dirt.

I think I've been just a hard on men. Men are dogs, that's why women have to step up their game to keep relationships going. Basically I'm not buying into the modern bullshit that humans are not like selfish animals. I'd rather deal with reality than this utopia you wish could exist. Humans have not evolved as man and women are the same. The modern propaganda tries to force us to be.

pariahjane wrote:

Bullshit.  If some guy gets a girl knocked up he should have a responsibility for the children at the very least.  If not then he's a douche. 

I agree with the should part. And the government has a role to force men to do this. But the reality is it's not easy to take responsibility, so men will often try to get out of their responsibility. Women need to deal with this reality instead of being angry and saying how things should be.

pariahjane wrote:

So, you're saying once you're wife is done having you're children and loses her good looks are gone it's totally cool to split on her.  After all, the man has done his responsibility during the courtship (average = 2-3 years).  It's the wife's problem if the marriage fails in the next 40+ years. 

No, I'm not saying it's OK. I'm saying that's what will often happen if the women doesn't step it up. I doesn't do any good to say how things should be. Say how things are.

pariahjane wrote:

Sometimes I think you think guys are just as dumb as girls (and it's apparent you aren't fond of women). 

I am fond of women except when they are highly irrational. Sure guys are often more dumb since we let our testosterone do the thinking.

pariahjane wrote:

 You sound as if you are living in the 1940's or earlier, where gender roles were strictly prescribed.  It's not the case anymore.

How about 1 million BC? Human nature has not changed in 1 or 2 generation. Women have more options to make money and be independent. But we've evolved as creatures where prostitution was the norm. This attempt to demonize and criminalize prostitution is bullshit, it's who we are.

We are evolved animals, but we create alternate realities in our heads about how things should be. There should be a sugar daddy god that does whatever we ask in prayer. Men should take equal responsibility for marriage and children. Women should pursue men as equally as men pursue women. Humans are above being prostitutes and johns. Bullshit, just accept the cold hard facts of reality.

 

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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When's the wedding?

I AM GOD AS YOU wrote:

  I want you pariahjane, how much for the privlege ?     ((( help save crazy man .....  come on all you goddesess , HELP !  Tease more .... rub it in .... flaunt your stuff, and make them guys promise no more war .....  FUCK IT , give all the money to the girls ......      

So when's the wedding?

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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MattShizzle wrote:I would

MattShizzle wrote:

I would have to point out in my opinion, if a woman doesn't put out she has only herself to blame if her husband looks elsewhere. I would say it goes both ways too -if a man won't give his wife any - or can't get it up and won't do anything to fix it (he could get viagra or something, and even if that doesn't work he can go down on her)  - she has every right to get some on the side.

 

I would state this another way:  A marraige is a social contract that includes monogomy.  Celibacy is NOT monogomy.  If a member of the couple is not attending to the sexual needs of the other member of the couple then they are in violation of the social contract.  In your example, SHE is betraying the marriage by not attending to his sexual needs.  That said, what constitutes a "sexual need" is a highly fungible concept, so lots and lots of communication is called for to determine things like what sexual acts, how often etc.  Ideally this communication can take place in the context of foreplay and (as hamby put it) impressing your mate, but it doesn't always work that way.  Not to mention that sexual responsiveness changes througout the marraige as menopause, health issues and just plain boordom occur.  Negoatiating these issues takes skill commitment and sacrifice.

 

Incidentally, as I have aged, I have become more and more impressed with the wisdom of long courtships.  It's just good to know a lot of this stuff BEFORE you start the emotional bonding process that goes along with sex, and WAY before you make the comittment of marriage.


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EXC wrote:pariahjane

EXC wrote:

pariahjane wrote:

You're giving men a freebie on marriage by stating that it's a woman's responsibility in maintaining it, therefore men are absolved of any blame.  Sorry, that's bullshit.  It takes two to have a relationship.

Again, I have no problems with you saying this is how things should be. But that is not how things work. This is some ideal you have of courtship being a 50-50 proposition and marriage being a 50-50 deal. In the beginning, women just need to bring their looks. Later on in the relationship things are different. If there is anyone to blame, it's Mother Nature(but then she's a woman).

I still disagree.  Yes, I know people who are in relationships that are similar to the ones you are talking about but I know far more people who are in relationships that are on a more even keel.  I think most people, men and women, work hard to maintain a relationship.  I just think that you're reality is a bit off.

pariahjane wrote:

  Honestly, you sound as if you think women are dirt.

I think I've been just a hard on men. Men are dogs, that's why women have to step up their game to keep relationships going. Basically I'm not buying into the modern bullshit that humans are not like selfish animals. I'd rather deal with reality than this utopia you wish could exist. Humans have not evolved as man and women are the same. The modern propaganda tries to force us to be.

You're still excusing men and putting all the pressure on the woman.  By suggesting that men are dogs and that's just the way it is so the woman better work hard isn't how relationships work.  Those relationships are destined to fail since only one person is attempting to keep it together. 

I don't think that all men are dogs.  There are a lot of men out there willing to work with their partner in order to maintain the comfortability of a relationship.  It would benefit them to do so.

pariahjane wrote:

Bullshit.  If some guy gets a girl knocked up he should have a responsibility for the children at the very least.  If not then he's a douche. 

I agree with the should part. And the government has a role to force men to do this. But the reality is it's not easy to take responsibility, so men will often try to get out of their responsibility. Women need to deal with this reality instead of being angry and saying how things should be.

Again, you're saying that men suck and women need to suck it up.  How about men taking responsibility?  I realize there is a huge problem with deadbeat dads and what not but you're giving them an excuse.  There is no excuse.

pariahjane wrote:

Sometimes I think you think guys are just as dumb as girls (and it's apparent you aren't fond of women). 

I am fond of women except when they are highly irrational. Sure guys are often more dumb since we let our testosterone do the thinking.

It's too black and white.  Life isn't black and white.  It's mostly grey. 

pariahjane wrote:

 You sound as if you are living in the 1940's or earlier, where gender roles were strictly prescribed.  It's not the case anymore.

How about 1 million BC? Human nature has not changed in 1 or 2 generation. Women have more options to make money and be independent. But we've evolved as creatures where prostitution was the norm. This attempt to demonize and criminalize prostitution is bullshit, it's who we are.

We are evolved animals, but we create alternate realities in our heads about how things should be. There should be a sugar daddy god that does whatever we ask in prayer. Men should take equal responsibility for marriage and children. Women should pursue men as equally as men pursue women. Humans are above being prostitutes and johns. Bullshit, just accept the cold hard facts of reality.

 

First of all, I don't think that prostitution is a bad thing.  I see no reason why it shouldn't be legalized but it would have to be controlled.

Secondly, I think that most men do take responsibility in a relationship.  It's a contract.  They're required to keep up their end of the bargain, as are women.  I'm certainly not creating an alternate reality in my head.  I'm living in a relationship that is mutually beneficial in which we do share 50-50.  It's a pretty great relationship.  I just think you have a very negative view on relationships in general. 

Again, I rarely see the types of relationships that you are referring to.  I'm not denying that they are out there but I doubt they are the norm.  Your idea of reality is strictly gender oriented with very little wiggle room.  Relationships are far more complex than you are suggesting. 

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In posts # 93 and 106, Hamby

In posts # 93 and 106, Hamby posited two hypothetical situations where one might make costs benefits analysis of the morality of an act of prostitution.

 

What I find interesting in both of these hypotheticals is that in both cases the act of prostitution is recognized as "bad."

 

In post #93 it is viewed as the least of the possible evils,  in post #106 it is viewed as a "bad" thing that is none-the-less outweighed by the "good" of lots of money.   I don't want to belabor this, because I get the impression that Hamby is writing an essay on morality and I wonder if he is actually working his way up to a point, but I would like would like to point out that NEITHER of these hypotheticals even address the issue of the morality of prostitution.

 

An act of killing a human being is morally neutral.  Murder is generally accepted as immoral.

 

An act of prostitution is morally neutral.  The institution of prostitution is....?  We have not yet heard Hamby's answer.

 

By the way, by what rational reason is murder immoral?  After all, we are just highly complex molecular machines.  What's wrong with stopping the clockwork?  I submit that there is no rational answer to this question.  I submit that we recognize murder as immoral because we have been programmed by evolution to have an aversion to killing each other, and to place value on each other, and that we then use our capacity for reason to rationalize this instinct with statements like "Do unto others..." and "The sanctity of life" You can see why the religious might personalize these instincts and attribute them to "God's will," We might even recognize that a society that condones murder would be a horrible place to live, but rationality doesn’t really enter into where our morals come from.

 

Evolution is an algorithm, and therefore has its own logic and grammar, but the human subjective experience of that logic is typically that it "just is."  The reasoning behind our intuition is outside of our conscious awareness, just as the information encoded on our DNA is outside our conscious awareness.

 


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Quote:In post #93 it is

Quote:
In post #93 it is viewed as the least of the possible evils,  in post #106 it is viewed as a "bad" thing that is none-the-less outweighed by the "good" of lots of money.   I don't want to belabor this, because I get the impression that Hamby is writing an essay on morality and I wonder if he is actually working his way up to a point, but I would like would like to point out that NEITHER of these hypotheticals even address the issue of the morality of prostitution.

Don't work yourself up about those hypotheticals too much.  They aren't intended to prove a point, but to illustrate it.  Yes, in a round-a-bout sort of way, I'm leading up to a point about morality, but it doesn't belong in this thread.

Quote:
I submit that we recognize murder as immoral because we have been programmed by evolution to have an aversion to killing each other,

I submit that this does not line up with reality.  Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry is a cult icon -- a legend and a hero.  Audie Murphy went to war, and came back a hero.  We line up on the side of the road and cheer when our soldiers come back from war.  Ask your local NRA representative about the moral virtue of a man who puts a cap in the ass of the guy trying to break into his house.

We value violence, but only when it is directed at those outside of our group.  Ted Bundy is a son of a bitch because he killed our people.  Audie Murphy is a hero because he killed their people.

We draw a line between murder and killing.  Killing a death row inmate is a good thing to many people.  Killing a gook, or a commie pig, or a Jap... this is good, and it's not murder.  The line between murder and killing is the line between us and them.

Quote:
We might even recognize that a society that condones murder would be a horrible place to live, but rationality doesn’t really enter into where our morals come from.

If you pull out your anthropology textbook and give it a skim, you'll see that there has never been a society that condoned murder -- only those that condone killing.  (The U.S. condones killing.  Ask any Texan.)

This isn't just a semantic point.  It's crucial to an understanding of how we formulate morality, and crucial to understanding why the selling of sex for money is morally neutral.

If I say, "Is taking the life of a human being wrong?" a thoughtful person will realize that it's impossible to answer the question.  I have given no context.  In the same way, if one asks about the morality of selling sex for money, it is impossible to answer.  Without context, morality is meaningless.  Only the religious and the naive believe in blanket statements of morality. 

Susac, are you familiar with Kholberg's stages of moral development?  I don't completely buy into the model as a whole, but it does provide some good observations.  His mystical stage six, where people return to universal ethics, sounds a lot like wishful thinking to me.  Even Kholberg admitted that few, if any, people ever make it to level six.  The thoughtful philosopher begins to question empty sets.  In any case, I think we can learn from his progression from arbitrary morality -- mom and dad say it's wrong, so it's wrong -- to peer influenced morality, to societal good, to individual circumstances and the concept of morality as an imperfect representation of a complex social arrangement.

I asked a question earlier, and nobody has addressed it.  If a person has a choice between two "blanket immoral" acts, and must choose one, do they become immoral by choosing?  If they do not, does the act then become moral?

Quote:
Evolution is an algorithm, and therefore has its own logic and grammar, but the human subjective experience of that logic is typically that it "just is."  The reasoning behind our intuition is outside of our conscious awareness, just as the information encoded on our DNA is outside our conscious awareness.

That may be, but does the general lack of perception change the reality of the algorithm?  You seem to be drawing a line between what people think the human moral compass is, and what it actually is.  Are you trying to do this?  Or are you trying to say that regardless of what the algorithm has produced, our unawareness makes it irrelevant?

 

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Quote:An act of killing a

Quote:
An act of killing a human being is morally neutral.  Murder is generally accepted as immoral.

Duh.

Disregard the part where I'm obviously reading deficient.

The institution of prostitution/act of prostitution is not analogous to murder/killing.

 

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hambydammit wrote:I asked a

hambydammit wrote:
I asked a question earlier, and nobody has addressed it.  If a person has a choice between two "blanket immoral" acts, and must choose one, do they become immoral by choosing?  If they do not, does the act then become moral?

Is this thing on?  (tap... tap...)

Bueller?

...

 

 

Bueller?

 

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Hamby

I'm finding it hard to disagree with anything you said in post 124.  I do have one question though:

 

Can you name any human act, behavior or institution that is not "moraly neutral except for it's context?"

 

If no, then what is the significance of even discussing the morality of prostitution?  And for that matter, what about the context of how prostitution manifests itself here on planet earth, or in America, or in your home town?  If in that context it is moral/immoral, then why is it moral/immoral?  What makes it so?

 

If yes, then what is that inherently immoral act, and what makes that act immoral?

 

This is not a small question.  Christians are always claiming that "without god you have no basis for morality."  I don't buy that arguement any more than you do I'm sure, but what IS the basis for morality?  If it's all contextual (which strikes me as likely) what is it about one context that makes a behavior moral and another context that makes it immoral?  Surely, the fact that an act is condoned by one's in-group is not a good enough answer - that's what the Nazi's thought, and we can see where it lead them.

 

You strike me as both a prolific writer and the philosophical type, so I'm sure you have been down this road before.  If you want to just supply me with a link about what you think on this topic, I would be most gratetful.


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Hambydammit

Hambydammit wrote:

hambydammit wrote:
I asked a question earlier, and nobody has addressed it.  If a person has a choice between two "blanket immoral" acts, and must choose one, do they become immoral by choosing?  If they do not, does the act then become moral?

Is this thing on?  (tap... tap...)

Bueller?

...

 

 

Bueller?

 

 

I suspect that no one wants to put their head in this noose because they don't know what makes an action immoral any more than I do.  But what the fuck, I'll play along.

 

I would say, that the action is still immoral.  In my experience, most people suffer all sorts of guilt, shame and self-loathing for doing the immoral act even in the face of the "no-win situation."  This suggests that the individual's moral intuitions are being violated in spite of the logic that says it's the best possible solution.  I'm not offering this observation as "proof" of the immorality of the act (since I don't know what makes an act immoral), I'm just noticing how most people's moral sense seems to work.  Even people who buy into the justification of the logic that it is no longer immoral tend to defend their behavior when they reference it later, even if it's just by saying "well I did what I had to do."

The person may or may not become immoral.  That depends on how they cope with their own behavior.  Some people accept the consequence of their actions, and use the pain of their guilt and shame to inform their sense of morality in coping with future events.  Some people rationalize away the immorality of the act and then use that rational to justify further immoral acts.  Some people lack any insight into the social, legal or moral consequences of their behavior and feel extremely victimized when they end up suffering those consequences (in adults this is an earmark of the antisocial personality)

 

This is the part where Hamby uses my response to continue his argument....

 


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Hambydammit wrote: Susac,

Hambydammit wrote:

 

Susac, are you familiar with Kholberg's stages of moral development?  I don't completely buy into the model as a whole, but it does provide some good observations.  His mystical stage six, where people return to universal ethics, sounds a lot like wishful thinking to me.  Even Kholberg admitted that few, if any, people ever make it to level six.  The thoughtful philosopher begins to question empty sets.  In any case, I think we can learn from his progression from arbitrary morality -- mom and dad say it's wrong, so it's wrong -- to peer influenced morality, to societal good, to individual circumstances and the concept of morality as an imperfect representation of a complex social arrangement.

 

I am.  Always question a researcher who claims that his own moral values are the higest on the developmental scale!  I do like the idea of moral development though.  It is a good concept that appears to be very robustly supported by evidence. 


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pay for sex

JillSwift wrote:

shelleymtjoy wrote:
Translation: You can use sex to get a car, tv, or maybe even just a free meal but apparently cash is where the line is drawn?!
Me: "Why is being paid for sex a bad thing?"

Them: "It cheapens what should be beautiful."

Me: "That's odd, it sounds to me like payment makes it more expensive."

Them: *blank look*

I love irony.

 

 

You show me any sex that the guy doesn't , in some way", "pay for it


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  Hi girl you is so

  Hi girl you is so so pretty, .... she knows what I really mean but just says, yeah I know, thanks .... Umm she ain't interested, then I say name your price. It often works and I get so happy for an hour. It's nice to have an extra 20 bucks ......     up close ..... I adore girls ..... just something about them ..... geeezzz, .... lock us up now for what ????      


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bluescat48 wrote:You show me

bluescat48 wrote:
You show me any sex that the guy doesn't , in some way", "pay for it
Lesbian sex.

Do I get a cookie? =^_^=

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


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  Hey Lesbians, I AM am

  Hey Lesbians, I AM am Lezzz  too, just stuck in a man's' body ......  Can I please join in ,  please like me ,  I like you ..... I have never found a guy I would do .....  I AM way Lezzz it seems ...... 


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some thing about true love

some thing about true love ..... 

Clint Black - Something that we do http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ5CtEqUqcU

Love - My Little Red Book http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXEAWlIe2sQ


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  more proof positive that

  more proof positive that guys are all pussy whipped, thing is I AM all for it !

mountain - mississippi queen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bwcBakIBaA

Mountain-Never In My Life-From Live in Paris http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5hKZ6GlYZc

>>>> Leslie West - Never In My Life - Night Of The Guitars 1988 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NDt0_7Ay-o

I AM A SLAVE !         

 


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Men will pay for lesbian

Men will pay for lesbian sex; at least videos or photos of it.


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Kevin R Brown wrote:Quote:As

Kevin R Brown wrote:

Quote:
As far as I can tell, and I did some pretty serious digging, the loophole is the housecall bit.  If I call somebody and they come to my house and I pay them for sex, or for that matter, if I go to their house, and it's not a business, there is technically not a law against it.  I don't really know much about income reporting, so I guess technically tax evasion might come into the picture, but there it is.

So, what? You cold call people in the area until you find one that agrees (given that advertising for it is illegal)? The argument that it's 'technically not illegal' is stupid; there's no feasible means of finding a prostitute who doesn't solicit herself as one, and even assuming you did, you'd still get busted if the police found out you were doing it anyway. At that point, I doubt you'd find it very entertaining to try arguing law technicalities with the judge.

Sorry to come back so late on this. It's illegal to solicit sex in a public place, which means on street corners, etc. However, you are allowed to advertise in print. If you look in the classfieds in your paper, you'll see a crapload of "escorts". Those are actually all prostitutes. They aren't allowed to discuss prices in the paper, but a telephone call is considered a private communication and isn't public solicitation.

They can't have you come over to their place or a regular hotel room, as it would constitute operating a bawdry house or brothel. However they can meet you at your place or a hotel room you book. However, most police services in Canada recognize the safety issue here and don't enforce the brothel part of the law.

 

"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." -- former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien


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10101 wrote:Men will pay for

10101 wrote:
Men will pay for lesbian sex; at least videos or photos of it.
So... no cookie?


 


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Quote:I suspect that no one

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I suspect that no one wants to put their head in this noose because they don't know what makes an action immoral any more than I do.  But what the fuck, I'll play along.

Despite having to aerate my ass to get the smoke out of it, I like your attitude.

Quote:
In my experience, most people suffer all sorts of guilt, shame and self-loathing for doing the immoral act even in the face of the "no-win situation."  This suggests that the individual's moral intuitions are being violated in spite of the logic that says it's the best possible solution.

You seem to be arguing that morality is ultimately the same as people's perceptions of morality.  Is this what you want to do?

Quote:
I'm not offering this observation as "proof" of the immorality of the act (since I don't know what makes an act immoral), I'm just noticing how most people's moral sense seems to work.

Again, you seem to be arguing that people's moral sense is morality, and that logic cannot override it.  Do you mean to do this?

Quote:
Even people who buy into the justification of the logic that it is no longer immoral tend to defend their behavior when they reference it later, even if it's just by saying "well I did what I had to do."

And yet, this would contradict you if you were to follow that line of logic for very far.  People often do what they logically believe to be more moral, even though they know in advance that they will feel guilt over it.  What do you make of that?

Quote:
The person may or may not become immoral.  That depends on how they cope with their own behavior.

Pfft.  That's not what I'm asking.  The butterfly effect...  Who knows whether Stewie became a sexless loser because of the swimming accident?  It could have been any number of things.  Only in cartoons and movies can we really tie a person's future to a single incident in the past.  (Ten bonus points if you know the reference.)

You've already answered what I meant you to answer, though.  If you're going to be consistent, you must believe that committing an immoral act means that, at least for the moment, the person is immoral, right?  Or, perhaps you don't think of a single act as defining a person's state of morality/immorality?  What criteria do you use?

Quote:
Some people lack any insight into the social, legal or moral consequences of their behavior and feel extremely victimized when they end up suffering those consequences (in adults this is an earmark of the antisocial personality)

Ah, yes.  Of course, the more we learn about mirror neurons, the more we're beginning to understand things like Asperger syndrome.  Perhaps people who don't get far on the Kohlberg scale have a similar problem with them?  I dunno.

Quote:
This is the part where Hamby uses my response to continue his argument....

Not yet.  I'm curious if we can ferret out a couple of things that morality isn't before really digging into what it might be.  Do you want to offer up any suggestions?  I thought you were going to get to a big point a few posts back, but you're either not willing to give up that ground, or don't know what I'm talking about.

 

 

 

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Hambydammit wrote:You seem

Hambydammit wrote:
You seem to be arguing that morality is ultimately the same as people's perceptions of morality.  Is this what you want to do?
 I don't know what morality is, so it's hard to make an argument from ignorance.  No, I'm not trying to do that, what I'm trying to do is recognize that a persons' moral sense seems to get "tweaked" in response to these moral "no win" situations, as a red flag that some moral truth is being violated.  I'm sure that I would be unable to articulate what that moral truth is (I'm a real big believer in the value of "I don't know" as an answer).
Quote:
Again, you seem to be arguing that people's moral sense is morality, and that logic cannot override it.  Do you mean to do this?
No, I’m not making that argument.  I'm more noticing a pattern in the behavior of people in response to moral dilemmas.  I'm quite sure that this pattern is often independent of any "objective" moral standards, or at least of my personal moral standards.  Let me give you an example: I often see this pattern of cognitive dissonance and moral angst in women of faith who are being abused by their husbands.  They go through all kinds of gyrations around "it's God’s will that I obey my husband," "It's a sin to leave my husband" etc, on the one hand, and their basic instincts for survival and personal dignity omn the other hand.  A lot of work goes on in session getting the person to re-order their priorities so that "obedience to authority" is no longer the highest moral imperative in their personal morality.  Once this happens they have a much easier time making decisions about what to do next.  These are moral decisions being made by the person to try to cope with their dilemma.  My personal moral standard is that the HUSBAND is the one who is behaving immorally, because he is using his power to oppress his wife, and that she is morally doing no harm.  I do notice that this cognitive dissonance is an earmark that there is a moral issue being dealt with, namely, how does she judge the value of her health and safety against the values she brings to her marriage and the oaths she has made.  This comparison of values is what (I think) makes it a moral dilemma and not simply a matter of preference (as in, my boyfriend is beating me, so I'll just find a new boyfriend). Cases like this also include psycological processes around greif and bereavement as well as "battered woman's syndrome" but those are seperate treatement issues.  Unfortunately, the ethical boundaries of my profession prevent me from saying "the whole premise that god exists is crap" I have to work inside their delusional system or the state may take away my license (but don't get me started on that one). 
Quote:
And yet, this would contradict you if you were to follow that line of logic for very far.  People often do what they logically believe to be more moral, even though they know in advance that they will feel guilt over it.  What do you make of that?
Well, first off, I'm not sure I would use the phrase "Logically believe to be more moral."  I don’t' think most people use logic to judge the morality of the situation.  Most of us tend to take the situation way more personally than that.  I think that we use judgment and intuition most of the time.  In fact one of the things one does as a counselor is to logically lay out their options before them and help them to make a clearer choice.  Most people when put into a moral dilemma become pretty myopic.  Moral dilemmas tend to activate us emotionally and they tend to make reasoning hard and insight harder.  Still, at the end of the day, when faced with a series of moral choices, even if we are able to make them dispassionately, we tend to "go with our gut" about which is the best choice.  I think this goes back to a personal weighing of values. We decide which value we hold the highest, then we judge the choices based on the best fit to the value.  Often when I do this with a person, I introduce a new value that "trumps" the value of their personal moral dilemma.  Put into this new light, the solution becomes simple for the person.  Why one value is “highest” is another question though, isn’t it?
Quote:
Pfft.  That's not what I'm asking.  The butterfly effect...  Who knows whether Stewie became a sexless loser because of the swimming accident?  It could have been any number of things.  Only in cartoons and movies can we really tie a person's future to a single incident in the past.  (Ten bonus points if you know the reference.)
Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. 
Quote:
You've already answered what I meant you to answer, though.  If you're going to be consistent, you must believe that committing an immoral act means that, at least for the moment, the person is immoral, right?  Or, perhaps you don't think of a single act as defining a person's state of morality/immorality?  What criteria do you use?
 The only thing I'm really willing to be consistent about is that I don't know what makes a thing moral or immoral.  The rest is just groping around.  That said, I don't know where I would draw the line for a "moral/immoral" person. Here is a rough breakdown:1)  I think that some people simply make mistakes and keep trying to do their best.  I knew a murderer who kept violating his parole because he was so traumatized by his act of murder that he didn't feel safe going off parole.  I would argue that his morality was intact, even though he was a murderer, and being a murderer was a part of his personal identity.2)  Some people rationalize their mistakes and keep making them over and over, failing to learn.  When they do this they tend to become more and more distorted in their thinking about "right and wrong," defending their actions over and over again with the same tired old excuses.  A career prostitute who is drug addicted might fall into this category.  Sure, she has 3 kids by 3 different dads, and she rationalizes this away to avoid the insight that her lifestyle has contributed to the suffering of her children, but she can gain that insight and use it to change her situation (perhaps by going into rehab and using other community resources)3)  Some people adjust to fundamentally immoral situations.  Think of a gang-banger who joins the gang to get safety on the street, and has to murder to be initiated into the gang.  Such a person may cope with that by developing a personal code that helps give them some framework for morality in their "no win world." 4)  Some people have no moral sense to begin with because their brains are defective.  Usually these people are either career criminals or the heads of large organizations.  Think of Jim and Tammy baker. I would say that person 1 is still a moral person.  Person 2 & 3 are not, but could be with some work, and person 4 should be quarantined or killed in order to protect society.  The thing is that with persons #2 & #3, they tend to be highly resistant to "rehabilitation."  Part of the reason for this is that their coping responses are all embedded into their immoral lifestyle, and part of the reason is because it causes quite a bit of psychological pain to admit to yourself that you are responsible for the suffering of yourself and of others.   Most people work very hard to defend themselves against their own moral shortcomings. This is why most people drop out of their 12-step programs when they hit the 4th step.  That's the one that says: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.  Interestingly, 12-steppers who do work on this step often have a harder time admitting their moral strengths than they do admitting their moral shortcomings. It’s almost as though once they start thinking about their own morality they focus on only their immorality, painting themselves with all their repressed self-loathing. The other big stumbling block for 12-steppers is #9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  I don't really know what to make of that. All of this is descriptive of processes of morality, not definitive.  The 12-step programs are designed to teach people how to be moral people.  This implies that being a moral person is a skill, and not an either/or thing.  I suppose there is something in there about learning from your mistakes and trying to make better decisions in the future that goes into my own judgment about what it means to be a moral person. 
Quote:
Ah, yes.  Of course, the more we learn about mirror neurons, the more we're beginning to understand things like Asperger syndrome.  Perhaps people who don't get far on the Kohlberg scale have a similar problem with them?  I dunno.
 Maybe.  I do notice that new moral behaviors and reasoning are trainable, so whatever the neurology behind it, it is clearly subject to influence from the environment.  I notice that the older one gets the harder it is to re-train them.  Interestingly, the smarter one is the harder it is to train them as well.  Very often, very smart people have much more powerful rationalizations for their behavior.   
Quote:
Not yet.  I'm curious if we can ferret out a couple of things that morality isn't before really digging into what it might be.  Do you want to offer up any suggestions?  I thought you were going to get to a big point a few posts back, but you're either not willing to give up that ground, or don't know what I'm talking about.
 I'm not sure what you are referring to.  Enlighten me, please. 

 


Hambydammit
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Quote:I'm not sure what you

Quote:
I'm not sure what you are referring to.  Enlighten me, please.

Forgive me if I don't want to just blurt out what I believe the answer to be.  As you well know, people like an idea much better when they come up with it themselves.

First, here are a few quotes of yours:

Quote:
I don't know what morality is, so it's hard to make an argument from ignorance....

a persons' moral sense seems to get "tweaked" in response to these moral "no win" situations, as a red flag that some moral truth is being violated.

I'm quite sure that this pattern is often independent of any "objective" moral standards, or at least of my personal moral standards.

This comparison of values is what (I think) makes it a moral dilemma and not simply a matter of preference (as in, my boyfriend is beating me, so I'll just find a new boyfriend).

You're dancing around the issue, and never giving it a good left jab to the jaw.  Correct me if I misstate, but here are the distilled versions of things you've told me about morality:

1) People have an innate 'sense' of morality.

2) People's sense doesn't necessarily (or necessarily even often) line up with the most logical thing to do in a situation.

3) Often, people must overcome their guilt/shame etc... (read: innate moral sense) to do the more logical thing.

What does this tell you about the objective reality of what morality is?

Quote:
I have to work inside their delusional system or the state may take away my license (but don't get me started on that one).

There have been those who wondered why I'm not in the field since I seem so damned interested in it...

Quote:
I don’t' think most people use logic to judge the morality of the situation.  Most of us tend to take the situation way more personally than that.

And where does this tendency fall on the moral scale?  If logic tells you the correct answer, and you eschew it for personal feelings, isn't that... um... selfish?  And isn't that immoral?

Quote:
In fact one of the things one does as a counselor is to logically lay out their options before them and help them to make a clearer choice.

Except when one of those options is questioning faith...  Sorry.  I said I wasn't going to get you started. 

Quote:
Most people when put into a moral dilemma become pretty myopic.  Moral dilemmas tend to activate us emotionally and they tend to make reasoning hard and insight harder.

That's true, isn't it!  (Ok.  Now you're getting to the part where I use your answers to my advantage.)  What does that say about this vaunted inner sense of morality?  It seems damn ineffective in so many situations.

Quote:
Still, at the end of the day, when faced with a series of moral choices, even if we are able to make them dispassionately, we tend to "go with our gut" about which is the best choice.  I think this goes back to a personal weighing of values.

Ok, obviously it goes to personal weighing of values, but this is sort of like saying, "A is exactly the same as A."  What does this tendency tell us about the reliability (and ultimate value) of personal weighing of values?  After all, it takes a trained professional, detached and logical, to help so many people figure out otherwise simple problems.

Just for shits and giggles, let me quote you from an earlier post:

"The principals of morality I try to live by are:

1) Be honest with yourself even when it hurts.  ESPECIALLY when it hurts."

The funny thing is, we've got two serious problems.  The 'hurt' from moral dilemmas often accompanies a weakening of cognitive abilities.  You just said so yourself.  How do we know when we are being honest with ourself because it hurts or when we are avoiding asking the hard questions because they hurt?

Clearly, individuals weighing their own morality is not a very accurate system.  Does that leave us with the government?  We've seen how that works out.  Where does it leave us?

Quote:
Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story.

Ten points.

Quote:
The only thing I'm really willing to be consistent about is that I don't know what makes a thing moral or immoral.  The rest is just groping around.

I'm pretty sure if you got down to brass tacks, this is what 98% of the population does.  I'm trying to get you to make some conclusions about this obvious piece of data.  You're a professional, for crying out loud.

Quote:
This is why most people drop out of their 12-step programs when they hit the 4th step.

Please, don't get me started on 12-step programs, but you're right.  Number 4 is a real issue.

Quote:
Interestingly, 12-steppers who do work on this step often have a harder time admitting their moral strengths than they do admitting their moral shortcomings. It’s almost as though once they start thinking about their own morality they focus on only their immorality, painting themselves with all their repressed self-loathing.

I'd be willing to bet there's something we can learn about our morality from this.

Have you read The Authoritarian Specter, by Robert Altman?  If you haven't, why the hell not?  If you have, what are your opinions about it?

Quote:
The other big stumbling block for 12-steppers is #9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  I don't really know what to make of that.

If you didn't think you were getting graded, what would your best guess be?

Quote:
The 12-step programs are designed to teach people how to be moral people.

Have you asked any of the designers what morality is?

Quote:
This implies that being a moral person is a skill, and not an either/or thing.  I suppose there is something in there about learning from your mistakes and trying to make better decisions in the future that goes into my own judgment about what it means to be a moral person.

Don't some people learn to suppress their innate sense of morality?  They become incredibly good at swindling people (cough, cough... Jimmy Swaggart...)  Or, are they fulfilling their innate morality?  Again, have you read The Authoritarian Specter?

Quote:
I do notice that new moral behaviors and reasoning are trainable, so whatever the neurology behind it, it is clearly subject to influence from the environment.

A damn fine evolutionary adaptation, if you ask me.  Unlike some of our cousins, we can adapt our innate behaviors to the point of individual detriment for abstract good.  We've actually evolved the ability to at least somewhat contradict our biology.  However, I must ask again, have you read The Authoritarian Specter?

Quote:
Interestingly, the smarter one is the harder it is to train them as well.  Very often, very smart people have much more powerful rationalizations for their behavior.

The curious question is this:  Are smarter people, on average, more or less moral?  (Of course, I'm baiting you with that question.  What standard are we using to judge them?)

 

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JillSwift wrote:I still have

JillSwift wrote:

I still have a rather prudish view of anything sexual (leftovers from being brought up in a Catholic home). I like to think of sex as something special one saves for special someones, keeping it just a little rare and so making it even more of a sensual treat shared with someone you love. That's nothing more than a personal philosophy but it does leave me unable to really see why anyone would want to be a prostitute.

Still, I can't think of any rational reason to consider prostitution immoral. My moral compass is to measure the suffering. I can't see prostitution, in and of itself, causing suffering. Probably it even relieves some. Care needs to be taken, with an abiding interest in and knowledge of STDs and other blood born disease and to that end some regulation of it as a business may be necessary (which is tangential, sorry).

I can think of a few rational reasons to call prostitution immoral.

But, just because something is immoral, does not mean it has to be illegal. That's one of the great fallacies of our time that legality and morality are considered by many to be the same thing.

In general, consentual activities should not be illegal. Regulated, taxed or zoned, maybe, but not illegal.


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I haven't read that book,

I haven't read that book, but it sound like a good one. I'll have to check it out.

hambydammit wrote:
You're dancing around the issue, and never giving it a good left jab to the jaw. Correct me if I misstate, but here are the distilled versions of things you've told me about morality:

1) People have an innate 'sense' of morality.

2) People's sense doesn't necessarily (or necessarily even often) line up with the most logical thing to do in a situation.

3) Often, people must overcome their guilt/shame etc... (read: innate moral sense) to do the more logical thing.

What does this tell you about the objective reality of what morality is?

Well, the word I keep tripping up on is “objective.” There are 3 answers to this question that I can think of:

1) There IS NO objective morality. Simple answer, crappy results. Humans seem to need morality to keep from killing each other and I, for one, like living in a peaceful society.

2) The only “objective” standard for morality I can think of is “that which increases the frequency of my genes in the environment.” By this standard, genocide is bad because I share so many genes with the people I may be killing that it violates this standard. Promiscuity is bad because game theory says that I will have better availability of mating resources if I loosely follow the “one person per person” rule, but cheating is not bad because once in a while I can get away with spreading my DNA around a little.

3) I’m being dense and simply not getting where you are going with this. Clearly our moral sense is a blunt instrument for determining the right course of action. How we perceive morality is extremely malleable, both as individuals and as a species. How one tests one’s moral intuitions against an objective criteria assumes that there is an objective criteria in the first place. This simply takes me back to the first two answers, neither of which sits well with me.

Quote:
There have been those who wondered why I'm not in the field since I seem so damned interested in it…

Check out industrial psychology, and research psychology. Both of these avoid this distasteful dilemma. But then if you find putting up with religiosity distasteful, you should try exercising compassion with a sex offender. That will make your skin crawl!

Quote:
That's true, isn't it! (Ok. Now you're getting to the part where I use your answers to my advantage.) What does that say about this vaunted inner sense of morality? It seems damn ineffective in so many situations.

That it’s a series of rules of thumb with fuzzy-logic running throughout the system. What’s your point? What standard do you judge the validity of these responses against?

To me your whole last post can be boiled down to two propositions:

1) Human beings have poor skills when it comes to judging the morality of a situation.

2) logic is a better tool than human intuitions for determining morality.

I agree with both of these propositions, but what is the standard by which you measure objective morality? How do you know it’s the right standard?

We are talking about reality testing here. How do you test moral reality? I think human moral systems might be built something like this:

1) “Objective morality“ = what promotes the frequency of my DNA in the environment

2) Evolution gives rise to to a moral sense (a la Haidt’s five emotional responses that humans use to intuit morality: harm, fairness, community (or group loyalty), authority and purity.

3) This gets processed through our cerebral cortex and we assign language to these emotions which in English are referred to as values and principals

4) Most of us respond with our intuition, but to some extent we do use logic and reason to determine what value and principal “should” take primacy in any given moral dilemma.

But here is the part that I have to say “I don’t know” about. Why “should” one value take precedence over another? Why are the emotions of harm and fairness primary when dealing with genocide, from outside the culture, but INSIDE the culture the emotions of community, authority and purity are what are causing the genocide in the first place?

I’m comfortable saying that the slaughter of the Jews is wrong, and that Nazi’s were delusional (religiously inspired delusions at that), but THEY thought they were acting morally.

Teaching someone new morality involves re-ordering their moral priorities around new moral principals. Intuitively (there’s that word again), I sense that some moral principals are “higher” than others, but I still couldn’t tell you why.

Maybe the part of my brain that does that calculus is on the right side, so it’s far from my language centers, but still, what is this “objective” morality you keep speaking about?

Hamby you have yet to use the word “values” to describe morality. I’m not sure how you can get away from this concept. How can you judge morality without saying X has more value than Y?

 

I want to give you an example from counseling that is both fun (in my world) and illustrative of what I’m talking about. It’s the “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet” intervention:

College student comes up to me (distressed).

Her: “I don’t know what to do. I broke up with my boyfriend, and now he’s saying he’s going to kill himself if I don’t get back together with him.”

Me: “So he’s sort of blackmailing you then?”

Her: “yeah. I don’t’ want to go out with him, but I don’t want him to hurt himself” (Harm vs. Fairness)

Me: “Do you think he’s serious?”

Her: “I don’t know”

Me: “Ok, well, let me ask you something: Are you trained as a qualified professional to determine the risk of someone who is suicidal?”

Her: “Well, no, I asked him to go talk to the school counselor and he refused.”

Me: “Ok, well, who do you know who IS qualified?”

Her: “well, YOU are!”

Me: “True, but I’m not on call. On the other hand, the police ARE on call, and they are trained to at least make the judgment about whether or not to bring him to the hospital for evaluation.”

Her: “Well I don’t want to call the cops on him!” (community vs. authority)

Me: “Well, look at it this way. If he’s really suicidal, then he’s not safe. You need to do the responsible thing and attend to his safety. If he’s just trying to emotionally blackmail you (which is likely) then by having the cops show up on his door, you are calling his bluff, and he’s going to stop this bullshit. He either gets the help he needs or he gets exposed as a fraud. Either way you win.”

Her: “wow, I never thought of that!”

The initial conflict is harm Vs fairness. She doesn’t want to see him hurt, but It’s not fair to her to live her life in extortion. Further she expresses conflict around community Vs. authority. She doesn’t want to sell him out. It’s only when I show her that harm trumps community in this case that she brightens up, and starts looking at her other options. She realizes that she can use his safety to call him on his bullshit and expose him for the whiney little bitch that he is.

However, there are lots of situations (like the military) where community trumps harm.

Why does one trump the other at all? Why does it change from situation to situation? It’s easy to use logic once you have made the judgment that one value trumps another. You can even use logic to justify why one value trumps another, but at some level you are choosing one over the other. I get the impression that logic comes AFTER you make that choice.

 


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Quote: What does this tell

Quote:
What does this tell you about the objective reality of what morality is?

 

An idealized set of values.


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ArianeB wrote:I can think of

ArianeB wrote:
I can think of a few rational reasons to call prostitution immoral.
I'd be very interested in hearing about one or two. (Me likes to learn!)

ArianeB wrote:
But, just because something is immoral, does not mean it has to be illegal. That's one of the great fallacies of our time that legality and morality are considered by many to be the same thing. In general, consentual activities should not be illegal. Regulated, taxed or zoned, maybe, but not illegal.
Can't help but agree here. Also curious where you'd draw the line about where to start making consensual activities illegal (I assume you do draw a line from "In general", sorry if I'm wrong.)

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


Hambydammit
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Quote:1) There IS NO

Quote:
1) There IS NO objective morality. Simple answer, crappy results. Humans seem to need morality to keep from killing each other and I, for one, like living in a peaceful society.

You're doing your false dichotomy thing again.  This is something theists are famous for, but then again, most atheists haven't given morality much thought beyond what they personally believe to be right or wrong.

Here are the problems with saying, "There is no objective morality."

1) The word objective doesn't mean absolute.  It is an objective reality that I like collard greens.  Some people do not like collard greens.  "Humans like collard greens" is not objectively true.  "Hambydammit likes collard greens" is objectively true.

2) The word objective doesn't mean singular.  It is objectively true that speeding is against the law.  It is objectively true that my injured passenger will die if I do not speed him to the hospital.  By one objective moral standard, I should always obey the speeding laws, because they make the roads safe, and I am unlikely to cause death or injury to an innocent party.  By another equally objective moral standard, I should get my injured passenger to the hospital with all due haste.  My driving speed will further be mitigated by the time of day, weather conditions, traffic level, the type of road I'm on, etc.

Here are the problems with saying (as you are by implication) that without objective (by which, you appear to mean absolute and singular) morality, humans will kill each other randomly and generally be nasty.

1) People do not randomly kill each other, and nastiness is generally tempered in almost all cases, and by any scientific and/or philosophical standard that I'm aware of, there is no reasonable and readily accepted basis for saying that there is such a thing as a single absolute morality.

2) Humans' cultural flexibility is either the primary, or one of the most important, adaptations which has allowed us to thrive while our cousins are still picking fleas off each other.  Throughout history, we find that polygamy is prevalent nearer the equator where resources are readily available.  As we move north towards the tundra, monogamy is almost universal.  Our different ways of mating are not more or less moral in these instances.  They are more or less functional based on what is needed to survive.  There is no good reason to suppose that since the coming of agriculture and industrialization that human adaptability has somehow inculcated itself into every aspect of our existence except morality. 

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2) The only “objective” standard for morality I can think of is “that which increases the frequency of my genes in the environment.”

Feh.

If you're talking about social darwinism, I'm just going to fart in your general direction and move on.  If you're talking about creating a whole system of morality out of the principles of natural selection, I'm going to guffaw for a moment and then remind you that many aspects of humans' ability to think abstractly lead us to conclusions and moral decisions which contradict the mandates of natural selection.  Ask anyone who was born prematurely and needed medical care to live.

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3) I’m being dense and simply not getting where you are going with this. Clearly our moral sense is a blunt instrument for determining the right course of action. How we perceive morality is extremely malleable, both as individuals and as a species. How one tests one’s moral intuitions against an objective criteria assumes that there is an objective criteria in the first place. This simply takes me back to the first two answers, neither of which sits well with me.

Well, I would say you're being dense, but in fairness, you've admitted that you haven't thought much about this.  I've already explained why the word 'objective' is tripping you up, but to reiterate, you are equating objective with absolute and singular.  It is not either.

ob·jec·tive:  not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased:

You are also making the mistake of thinking that if you can objectively justify an action as moral, and I can objectively justify an opposing action as moral, that one of us must be wrong.

I've also given you a really big clue to one of your mistakes in this post.  Why do we not speak of apes as being moral or immoral?  If you were to walk over to your neighbor, bludgeon his baby to death and eat it for dinner, I, and everyone else with any sanity, would call you hideously immoral.  Why isn't an ape being immoral when she does the same thing?

(You know it's often the females who do that sort of thing, right?)

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But then if you find putting up with religiosity distasteful, you should try exercising compassion with a sex offender. That will make your skin crawl!

I actually had a situation where as an employer, I had to deal with something along this line.  Obviously, I can't say much about it, but it was certainly distasteful.  On the other hand, if I was in the mood to be more contrarian, I could also demonstrate that there's even a significant degree of flexibility in the human psyche for sexual exploits that appear unconscionable to Westerners.

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To me your whole last post can be boiled down to two propositions:

1) Human beings have poor skills when it comes to judging the morality of a situation.

2) logic is a better tool than human intuitions for determining morality.

I agree with both of these propositions, but what is the standard by which you measure objective morality? How do you know it’s the right standard?

I'm trying really hard to lead you to it.  What you're doing is the equivalent of this:

1) Humans have poor skills, etc... and logic is better.

2) I can't think of a single, absolute measure for determining every question of morality.  Therefore, I don't know what I think about morality, and what I think is moral is moral because it is.

I know you're not being that simple, but your on/off switch hasn't tripped yet, and it appears you're having a really difficult time uniting human adaptability, human morality, and objective reality.  I've given you all the pieces.

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2) Evolution gives rise to to a moral sense (a la Haidt’s five emotional responses that humans use to intuit morality: harm, fairness, community (or group loyalty), authority and purity.

Yes... yes...

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4) Most of us respond with our intuition, but to some extent we do use logic and reason to determine what value and principal “should” take primacy in any given moral dilemma.

You're so close.

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But here is the part that I have to say “I don’t know” about. Why “should” one value take precedence over another? Why are the emotions of harm and fairness primary when dealing with genocide, from outside the culture, but INSIDE the culture the emotions of community, authority and purity are what are causing the genocide in the first place?

Why, indeed!  Haven't you read any evolutionary biology?  This isn't that hard a question.  Don't you know about the concept of a superorganism?

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Teaching someone new morality involves re-ordering their moral priorities around new moral principals. Intuitively (there’s that word again), I sense that some moral principals are “higher” than others, but I still couldn’t tell you why.

Yeah, and for each instance you give me, I can come up with someone who intuitively thinks your moral hierarchy is wrong.

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Hamby you have yet to use the word “values” to describe morality. I’m not sure how you can get away from this concept. How can you judge morality without saying X has more value than Y?

I've been waiting three pages for you to ask this.  I've already given you the answer.  Several times.  I've said it absolutely clearly in this response, though.

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Why does one trump the other at all? Why does it change from situation to situation? It’s easy to use logic once you have made the judgment that one value trumps another. You can even use logic to justify why one value trumps another, but at some level you are choosing one over the other. I get the impression that logic comes AFTER you make that choice.

I think you're asking a lot of this rhetorically, but I'm not sure.  Logic is simply a description of how we think.  The rules of logic, and the notation of the logic, are the codification of what we already do.  So, strictly speaking, we often recognize the logic after the fact, but at some level, whether conscious or unconscious, we've already performed it.

Even when we feel that we have acted instinctively -- "I didn't think about it, I just pulled the guy out of the way of the car."  This does happen, but there's a big gap in our perception.  Confirmation bias is incredibly strong when we remember our own experience.  In other words, we seldom remember the times when we acted instinctively and it was not the best thing to do, but when our "natural morality" kicks in, we're happy to attribute it to our own inherent goodness.

All that to say, when we do decide on an action, as opposed to acting without thought, we are using logic.  The question is whether our logic is valid, and whether the data we are using is accurate.

Why does one trump the other at all?  Because, in any situation where harm, fairness, community, and authority are in conflict, it's not an on/off switch.  It's a sliding scale.  By calling the police (authority), we are, to a certain degree, being fair to our community by reducing potential harm.  (What if he goes postal?)

Suppose I am a traveling businessman.  I have ten cities to go to and a map.  I want a computer to calculate the absolute most efficient route between the ten cities.  Using traditional linear logic, this will take a damn fine computer a long time.  The number of potential routes is extraordinary, and the computer is going to have to literally map out each one and then compare all of them to get the correct answer.  It will eventually get the most correct answer, every time (assuming correct data and correct CPU functioning) but by the time it does, I've probably lost three clients.  A better way to solve this problem is a neural net.  I'm going to skip the details because A) they're complicated and not particularly relevant and B) I'm not in AI and don't want to fuck up a detail and derail the topic over nothing important.  The bottom line is that a neural network is going to use a much broader shotgun style approach of eliminating the obviously bad possibilities and discovering a pattern which will quickly lead us to a very good answer.  It's actually pretty unlikely that it will be the best answer, but good neural networks get in the top 5-10% just about every time.

When we judge a situation like the one you described, we are (to use Haidt's model) solving a similar problem.  Suppose that harm, fairness, purity, community, and authority are each on a 1-100 scale, and we want to find the answer that gives the highest total number, adding all five scores together.  This is a much more daunting task than just ten set distances.  Even so, a neural net can get a pretty damn good answer without too much stress.

But... what if that's not the best way to do it?  What if, instead of going for the highest total score, we seek the one category which applies the most and seek to maximize it as much as possible without going below 50 in any other category?

The thing is, we'll get a similar answer.  Maybe method number two is going to yield an answer in the 89th percentile, and number one yields a 94th percentile, but they're still pretty good answers.

However, if you sit around a table with a bunch of hack philosophers, someone will insist that there's an objective way to decide which of those two methods is really the best one.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Hambydammit
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Susac?  

Susac?

 

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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EXC
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JillSwift wrote:I like to

JillSwift wrote:

I like to think of sex as something special one saves for special someones, keeping it just a little rare and so making it even more of a sensual treat shared with someone you love.

That is one point of view. There is also the adventure and learning of having many partners and experiences. Personally, I think there is a time for each of these attitudes in one's life. I think if you keep this attitude your whole life, you could be missing out on a lot of learning experiences and the sex with this one person could become very boring. But then just having sex with prostitutes could get empty and boring as well.

JillSwift wrote:

That's nothing more than a personal philosophy but it does leave me unable to really see why anyone would want to be a prostitute.

Easy $$$. Plus many prostitutes feel that being a housewife is just being a prostitute just with less freedom, more work and more boring.

ArianeB wrote:

I can think of a few rational reasons to call prostitution immoral. But, just because something is immoral, does not mean it has to be illegal. That's one of the great fallacies of our time that legality and morality are considered by many to be the same thing. In general, consentual activities should not be illegal. Regulated, taxed or zoned, maybe, but not illegal.

It's a drug like alcohol. For most people it's no problem. But, there are a few people that abuse it and some businesses that sell to drunks and drunk drivers. So, yes it does need to be regulated to that extent.

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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Hambydammit

Hambydammit wrote:

Susac?

 

 

 

Yes?


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EXC wrote:That is one point

EXC wrote:
That is one point of view. There is also the adventure and learning of having many partners and experiences. Personally, I think there is a time for each of these attitudes in one's life. I think if you keep this attitude your whole life, you could be missing out on a lot of learning experiences and the sex with this one person could become very boring. But then just having sex with prostitutes could get empty and boring as well.
Well, you're making some assumptions about my personal philosophy here that aren't true. May it suffice for me to say I recommend to everyone, from my own experiences, that they really explore their options before deciding on their personal philosophies of any sort. =^_^=

EXC wrote:
Easy $$$.
One of many possible motives, sure. But my desire for sex to be something special far outweighs my concern for money (even when I was within a few pennies of living on the streets). That's what I mean by I can't really see it. Rationally accept motives, sure. I just can't "grok" it. (Yay Heinlein reference!)

EXC wrote:
Plus many prostitutes feel that being a housewife is just being a prostitute just with less freedom, more work and more boring.
Curious: What percentage is "most", and where did you get that data? I'd love to review it.

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray