Some good news
The second shock came when I read the Quran in a language I understood, English. For years, I was reading it and trying to memorize it in Arabic without understanding a single word accept maybe "Allah" and "Muhammad".
I had no idea what I was reading. But through my curiosity I decided to read it from front to back, Surah after Surah. This was meant to be God's word so what kind of a religion was I following in which I didn't even know what my God said to me.
Again, the same thing happened. The more I read, the more I was disturbed.
I found the Quran to be repetitive, full of ugly and unnecessary threats, intimidating and rather boring. My life changed during that period forever. I began to find it pointless praying to Allah when I didn't even know what I was saying to him since just like the Quran, I read Namaz in a language I didn't understand.
One day my friend was giving dawah to me and telling me about the story of Buraq, the flying donkey; as he was telling me about it, I realised there and then that I didn't really believe in Islam. A few months later, I fully apostatised from Islam.