The wacky public
Offline Thought I would share a few short stories about people. I work at a tire shop and have had some amazing experiences with the public over the years.
I'll share a very recent one first. I'll make it brief, wacky looking couple ( I could go into great detail on how wacky looking they were ) with no money claiming they were headed for californina and needed a tire. The guy ends up screaming "It's not like I own a fucking tire store or anything!" when he can't afford a tire. I had to run them off.
A farmer comes in, now I already know how farmers operate so I'm prejudiced but once again I am proven correct. When he asks about a used tire in a certain size I show him the only used one we have at the time, it was 56$. I point out (I already knew it was pointless) we have a close out new tire in that size for 59$. He says "oh I can't afford a new one". Brainwashed fux.
A very gay dude comes in. He is not only gay he is sporting it with pink fingernails and a dress. He is waving his arms around talking incessantly about his car and his boyfriend and their love life and how his boyfriend should be paying for this tire repair because of how good he treats him. Normally I deal fine with gays and lesbians (some reason lesbians in particular seem to make really good repeat customers) but this dude was fukin out there and the two guys in the office cracked up when I pointed at the waiting room door and said "We have a waiting room ..right over there!" He might have been on drugs, I couldn't explain his behavior otherwise.
A woman came in just a few weeks ago obviously a long time drug user. She was pulling her pants down trying to show and sell her "pussy" for money to buy a tire. There were a few other customers very apalled at this and I called the police. How is someone like this driving around?
These are just a few that come to mind, anyone else have any fun stories about the "public" to share?
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
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Yes, sitting in my truck in the WalMart parking lot waiting for my mother to come out.
It used to be comical but, it's really scary.
Most of these humans don't even resemble humans... and the sad part is, if you created a bell curve of all the people who shop at WalMart, they would be considered 'normal'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXC8Gd_9Ae0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfVJ7M3W7FA&feature=related
I'd love to know what the narrator is saying
can anyone translate?
I think she might have said 'WTF???" a few times.
Caution! The following is not for those with a weak stomach!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX86viXrV_4&NR=1
'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.' A. Einstein
I liked the bicycle with training wheels chained up, just something about that, lol.
Those work stories kind of remind me of when I was working at Value Village, a thrift store, as the only truck unloader/store work mule. That place is rife with crazy work stories and I feel unable to not relate a few.
One day this nasty crackhead (we had a lot of them) came in and went to the back corner of the store along the shoe aisle. She then proceeded to drop her panties to one ankle and with her skirt still on began to defecate as she walked from the back of the store to the front, then ran out the door. Nobody stopped her, partially because everyone was too dumbfounded to really do anything for a minute and partially because nobody wanted to touch her. We then had to deal with an entire aisle of floor space covered in diarrhea. Needless to say, that was an interesting day, to say the least.
Then there were all the turds in the upper toilet tank that my buddy always got suckered into fishing for (with a little fish net no less!) or the people who wrote their bathroom graffiti in poop. I shit you not (no pun intended... or was it? XD) people really do this kind of stuff, and it always made me question the sanity of people I saw around a bit more.
"This may shock you, but not everything in the bible is true." The only true statement ever to be uttered by Jean Chauvinism, sociopathic emotional terrorist.
"A Boss in Heaven is the best excuse for a boss on earth, therefore If God did exist, he would have to be abolished." Mikhail Bakunin
"The means in which you take,
dictate the ends in which you find yourself."
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme leadership derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"
No Gods, No Masters!
Man that sounds like some stuff that went on at the state hospital I worked at. The bad stuff wasn't all on the patients either ...
But mental patients, a lot of them like to play with doo doo. Luckily I never had anything to do with any of that.
Those people would fuck everywhere they could find a car to get behind or a bush. There was a woman who had knocked out her own front teeth to "service" men and she would hollar from the 3rd story window when she could get loose "I want to suck your dick!".
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
I have a few stories. I owned tanning salons in Orlando for about 20 years. Here's a sample of brilliant Floridans.
One of my salons was in a center where there was also a bar. One year about 3 times a week the trash can in one of the rooms would be filled with pee. We finally figured out who it was that was doing this, a woman who'd come over after having a few drinks and was to lazy to walk the 10 feet to the restroom to go. This wasn't the only woman doing this either. In the other store I'd find pee in the trash can about once a month. I guess it was the relaxtion brought the pee out.
We also sold swimwear and lingerie. On one day this guy came in when a 17 year old clerk was working and tried on some men's t-backs and sexy leather. He comes out to the lobby in the t-back with his ass cheeks hanging out and his dick hard coming out of the front to ask the girl if it looked OK. She told him to put his clothes back on and put that little thing away as she went out the door to get the clerks at the video store next door. He did and never came back. After this I stopped selling any men's suits or clothing.
Then there was the guy who always pushed the emergency stop button on the tanning bed resulting in a loud alarm. He only did this to my female clerks. One of them was a dancer. He came out of the room with the very small towel draped over him and let it slip away. She began laughing at him so hard he shut the door put his clothes on and left, never to be seen again.
And if you every wonder about Floridans ability to understand we have this: We sold monthly tanning packages, which are simply one month of tanning, 30 days. Every now and then the customers would complain they bought 30 tans and they don't have any left as they had only been about 7 times. I sold no package of 30 tans either. It would turn out they bought a monthly package and somehow thought that a month was 30 tans not 30 days. My response was, what part of a month is 30 days do you not understand?
Then there was foot fetish guy. He was a paramedic or EMT. He'd come in and want to see the feet of my female clerks. Most told him no. One enterprising girl told him, sure for $20. He paid, she took off her shoes. He then wanted to kiss and fondle them. She said no, he was persistent becoming demanding so she maced him. End of his visits.
One salon was in a center with a thrift store run by the Catholic Church. They also gave out free food once a week. On one Saturday afternoon one of the volunteers from the church who had a key came in to get something at the thrift store. A few minutes later he's running up and down the shopping center jerking open doors on all of the businesses yelling, "let God into your life. God wants the doors open so he can come in." He physical ripped the door off the video store next door and tried to do the same to my store. My clerk a 100 pound girl fought him for the door. As she was doing so she saw he had a concealed gun. When she got the chance she called 911. It turns out he was a Korean war vet and was off his meds. God was talking to him telling him to go into the dens of evil, my tanning salon and the video store to bring God to us.
I used to allow friends to sit in the room with the tanner. After 2 different events I had to ban it. One time 2 women in their 20's come in. One was tanning and the other was going to sit and talk with her. I let them. After a few minutes I hear moaning coming from the room. The 2 women were having sex. What a deal, a tan and a place to do it for $7.00
Then we had the boyfriend and girlfriend who came in. She went to tan in one of the back rooms. A few minutes later he walks to the back to use the restroom. About 5 minutes later I hear sounds of sex coming from the room where the girl was. On their way out I told them we weren't a motel.
I don't even want to talk about what people did in the restrooms or how tampons were found in various places in the tanning rooms.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
I have to ask you Paul John, as this seemed a little strange to me, but tanning salons in Florida? Yeah, I can see it here in the Pacific Northwest, since Seattle gets on average 260 days of rain (more like 260 days of overcast, mist and sprinkles for the most part), but Orlando? I may be missing something, but it doesn't seem like it would be a very busy business to me. To me that seems like an indoor ice skating rink in the arctic, but I have never been to Orlando, so I may be missing some cultural reason for going into a booth when you could just sit outside and enjoy!
"This may shock you, but not everything in the bible is true." The only true statement ever to be uttered by Jean Chauvinism, sociopathic emotional terrorist.
"A Boss in Heaven is the best excuse for a boss on earth, therefore If God did exist, he would have to be abolished." Mikhail Bakunin
"The means in which you take,
dictate the ends in which you find yourself."
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme leadership derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"
No Gods, No Masters!
The states with the most tanning salons are Florida, California and Texas. In Florida there's a reason everything is green and wet. It rains, usually about the time you go home from work, say between 2 and 4 PM. People wear shorts and short sleeves at least 11 months a year. The Sun is very intense as well, so a tan helps build a base so you don't fry outside. People do work and do other things besides go to the beach and Disney so it's a time thing as well. If you live at the beach say Daytona, you at least get a little breeze with your 95 degrees and 95% humidity. Try laying out in your yard in that for an hour in Orlando with no breeze, you just melt. There's really no enjoying that. The best time for weather is mid October to Mid March when you can spend time outside for long periods. In the Summer you can just breathe in the air to get a drink of water, just saying.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
A really good looking asian woman came in a few years ago, I misquoted a set of tires for her car. I underquoted by about 40$. Maybe I was distracted by her looks or something. Anyway I realized my mistake and she was bitching about the price and I screwed up and told her I had misquoted and that was a really good price. She thought about it and hee haw'd around then finally said ok. So my workers are at lunch and I'm putting tires on her car. I'm thinking the boss is going to be pist when he find's out I lost 40$ and she actually bums 2 smokes off me while I'm working. Finally when it's time to pay out at the counter she looks me in the eye and says "you cheating me?" Oh shit I almost imploded.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
I'm sure a lot of funny stuff goes on in a tanning salon. Ever had anyone try to pass off food stamps for a tan?
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
No though just about everything else. I traded for passes to Disney, passes to Universal, hotel rooms near Disney, hotel rooms in South Beach, hotel rooms in Daytona Beach, free pizza & beer, free subs from 2 different places, free drinks from bartenders downtown at the clubs and the occasional gold chain.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
I have had a few try to trade food stamps and a long time ago govt. cheese for tires ... actually that cheese was pretty good lol.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin