Whining Kids From Geelong Ruin Crucifixion

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Whining Kids From Geelong Ruin Crucifixion

Back Off, Easter Bunny

stronger than nails  

 

So, how did you spend Easter? Did you enjoy some time off work? Did you get away from it all? Did you scarf down enormous quantities of chocolate? Was it all basically just relaxing, kicking back and so forth?

That’s nice.

Let me tell you about how a guy I know spent Easter, about 2000 years ago. He spent it getting tortured to death for your sins.

So how do you feel now? Do you feel good, spending the holiday season in recreation and gluttony with scarcely a thought for the horrific tale of pain and bloodshed that lies behind it? Hopefully, now you feel awful and wracked with intense guilt, and seeing as we’re discussing Christianity, that’s a good start.

You see, somewhere in the course of human history, as we concerned ourselves with earthly things, with the accumulation of material goods and pleasures of the flesh and our mad, pathological lust for stable representative democracy, we allowed ourselves to forget what Easter is actually about.

Well, almost. We can thank God — all three of Him — that there remain some people of strong Christian integrity and ethics. That these people live in Geelong might seem strange at first, but really shouldn’t surprise us too much. After all, Jesus himself lived in humble Nazareth — known to historians as the Geelong of Palestine — so it makes perfect sense that it was in Geelong that a group of plucky young Christians known as Heaven on Earth Apostolic Life Ministries decided to teach the common people the true message of Easter by staging a mock crucifixion in the middle of a busy shopping precinct.

We should likewise not be too surprised that the secularist police shut the display down on the orders of a crypto-socialist government that, like all Australian governments, loves nothing more than repressing religious freedom and vomiting down Christ’s tunic.

And what was their excuse this time? What was the smokescreen for their bigotry, their concocted "reason" for denying the citizenry inspiration and moral guidance?

Get this — they claimed that children were scared by the display.

Scared! Can you think of anything more ludicrous than the suggestion that children would be somehow "scared" of a crucifixion? That innocent young folk would be "frightened" of the core message of Christianity? That wee little mites would be in some way "freaked out" by the simple, inspiring sight of a half-naked man hanging from a piece of wood covered in blood? Pathetic.

Yet this seems to be the way of the world these days. Oh, of course we’re happy to take the "easy" bits of religion — the holidays, the presents, the Guy Sebastians — but when it comes to the real meaning of faith, to the actual message that Our Lord sent to us way back then, we cower and whimper and turn our faces away. It seems that so detached are we from our spiritual base that we now believe we can have a religion of love and peace without nightmarish images of death. Keep dreaming, Christians — dreaming in Hell!

The fact is that Christianity has lost its way, and we need to heed good folk like Heaven on Earth who are trying to bring us all back to basics. We need to remember why we became Christians in the first place. It wasn’t for the glamour, or for the sense of superiority, or for the creeping fear of death — these are side issues.

No, the appeal lies in the simple power of the Greatest Story Ever Told, the story of an all-powerful being who so loved His greatest creations that rather than punish them for their entirely predictable sins, He chose instead to forgive them by disguising Himself as an ordinary man and committing temporary suicide, so that forevermore only those who chose the wrong religion would suffer eternal agony. It was because of that story, a story of love and hope, that we decided, "this is the religion for me!" It wasn’t the chocolate eggs — indeed, sometimes it’s almost difficult to see what chocolate eggs have to do with capital punishment in ancient Judea at all.

And it’s exactly that story that we need to teach our children today. So far from covering our children’s eyes and putting a stop to religious tableaux in our public spaces; we should make our children look at these things. We should make them study them up close. We should hold their heads in a strong, tight grip and force their eyelids open with our other hand as they stare at a crucifixion. We should push them right up to the feet of the man playing Jesus and bark gruffly, "Think about it!" We should make them memorise every rivulet of fake blood, by rubbing their faces in it if necessary.

We should, in short, take every measure to ensure that the image of a man bleeding and dying on a cross is burnt into their neurons forever, so that it’s lurking there in the background in their every waking moment. And as they lie in bed at night, too terrified to go to sleep, there it will be, floating in front of their eyes. And they should be terrified, because you know what? The day you forget the crucifixion is the day Satan drops something in your drink, and later that night he’s going to do dreadful things to you.

That’s why we have carvings of Jesus’s death on our church walls, and hanging around our necks, and that’s why we need to have people acting out his horrific bloody demise in public as often as possible.

Christians need to emphasise why they’re different from other religions. They need a hook. "Try Christianity: the religion with blood everywhere" is the perfect slogan to carry the faith forward in the 21st century. It’s much better than competing slogans like "the religion where people don’t blow themselves up as often as the media would have you believe"; or "the religion with aliens". And it’s streets ahead of Christianity’s current motto: "the religion for firm young boys with a healthy willingness to experiment".

So there you have it: that’s why I’m calling for more public mock crucifixions, not fewer, to remind us that Easter isn’t all bunnies and chocolate; it’s also about reflection, prayer and brutal punishment.

Hopefully we can even extend this insight to other holidays: we can incorporate mock Muslim-bayoneting into the Anzac Day Parade; mock land-stealing into Australia Day festivities; and most excitingly, mock virgin births at Christmas. Of course, this last will also necessitate the insertion of mock babies into virgins before we start, but it’s surely feasible, if we’re really committed to reminding people of the reason for the season.

I’m not asking you to give up the celebrations, the parties, the bonhomie. I’m just asking that, on your next religious holiday, remember that it is also a solemn occasion; a time for reverence and prayer and recognition of the power of faith to not only transform lives, but also to compel grown adults to take off their clothes, smear red food colouring all over their bodies, and dangle themselves from planks in crowded thoroughfares.

Let’s make next Easter one to remember: get out those crosses and get moaning, people. Time to put into practice those most beautiful and moving words of the Saviour Jesus Christ: blessed are the torture-porn re-creationists, for if they do not inherit the earth, they will at least annoy the hell out of everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Amen to that, Lord.

 

http://newmatilda.com/2010/04/07/back-easter-bunny

 

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


Atheistextremist
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Nice lats, Lord.

 

I hope you don't mind my asking, do you take creatine?

 

 

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Atheistextremist wrote:Back

Atheistextremist wrote:

Back Off, Easter Bunny

stronger than nails  

 

So how do you feel now? Do you feel good, spending the holiday season in recreation and gluttony with scarcely a thought for the horrific tale of pain and bloodshed that lies behind it? Hopefully, now you feel awful and wracked with intense guilt, and seeing as we’re discussing Christianity, that’s a good start.

I love this line. great!

I Am My God

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Not to nit-pick, but Easter

Not to nit-pick, but Easter celebrates the resurrection, NOT the crucifixion. Perhaps they should spend less time devising psycho promotions of the bible and more time actually READING it.


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That picture of Jesus is

That picture of Jesus is wonderfully homo-erotic.

 

I am, at this moment, resisting the urge to go to Google and type "Jesus slash fiction".

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


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mellestad wrote:That picture

mellestad wrote:

That picture of Jesus is wonderfully homo-erotic.

 

I am, at this moment, resisting the urge to go to Google and type "Jesus slash fiction".

 

Then I will do that for you...

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

mellestad wrote:

That picture of Jesus is wonderfully homo-erotic.

 

I am, at this moment, resisting the urge to go to Google and type "Jesus slash fiction".

 

Then I will do that for you...

OMG LMGTFY is so very chock full of Win.


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I am in awe, Answers.  Awe.

I am in awe, Answers.  Awe.

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"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."


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Excellent: And then Joshua

Excellent:

 

And then Joshua was kissing him, kissing him as he’d thought he would never do. His lips were warm and dry, and they curved into a smile as his pressed against them. Hesitant, Judas pulled away, awaiting the sound of the soldiers... but there was nothing. Perhaps they too had fallen asleep, claimed by their god Morpheus; perhaps they were simply not paying attention; Judas did not know. There was a moment where the nighttime noises were uninterrupted until he was shocked to hear Joshua whisper “Now, that was hardly a proper kiss, was it?”

 

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


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mellestad wrote:And then

mellestad wrote:


And then Joshua was kissing him, kissing him as he’d thought he would never do. His lips were warm and dry, and they curved into a smile as his pressed against them. Hesitant, Judas pulled away, awaiting the sound of the soldiers... but there was nothing. Perhaps they too had fallen asleep, claimed by their god Morpheus; perhaps they were simply not paying attention; Judas did not know. There was a moment where the nighttime noises were uninterrupted until he was shocked to hear Joshua whisper “Now, that was hardly a proper kiss, was it?” 

 

Just lol'd pretty hard.  LMGTFY is awesome.


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"suffer the little children

"suffer the little children to come unto me...like unto little billy here, for example.  climb upon my lap, dear child.  billy, i am the lord thy god, hear thou me, and tell me true...

 

dost thou like movies about gladiators?"

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I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
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Kapkao
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Torture (from a woman!)
  1. Torture (from a woman!) doesn't sound so bad to me, being a sexual masochist of some measure. And secondly..
  2. Am I a theist for trying to find an Ideal Female Suitor; A GODDESS?!

 

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Easter is Christian?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2010/apr/03/easter-pagan-symbolism

Nope Christians, you're wrong, Easter is much older then your myths.

"This may shock you, but not everything in the bible is true." The only true statement ever to be uttered by Jean Chauvinism, sociopathic emotional terrorist.
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B166ER

B166ER wrote:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2010/apr/03/easter-pagan-symbolism

Nope Christians, you're wrong, Easter is much older then your myths.

I kinda wish Mary Magdalene did the world a REAL favor and had evicerated her husband/messaiah before he got to loose his destructive influence on the world!

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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mellestad

mellestad wrote:

Excellent:

 

And then Joshua was kissing him, kissing him as he’d thought he would never do. His lips were warm and dry, and they curved into a smile as his pressed against them. Hesitant, Judas pulled away, awaiting the sound of the soldiers... but there was nothing. Perhaps they too had fallen asleep, claimed by their god Morpheus; perhaps they were simply not paying attention; Judas did not know. There was a moment where the nighttime noises were uninterrupted until he was shocked to hear Joshua whisper “Now, that was hardly a proper kiss, was it?”

DIVINE GAYNESS! I LIKE IT!

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)