Jesus: now bacon flavored!

TomJ
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Jesus: now bacon flavored!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7424976/Image-of-Jesus-appears-in-a-frying-pan.html

Jesus fry pan guy wrote:
I'm not going to scrub it clean though, just in case I get struck by lightning, it's going to take pride of place on a wall instead.

Interesting to note:

  • There is a commandment that forbids graven images (Exodus 20:4)
  • Jesus never had a portrait commissioned during his lifetime
  • "Portraits" of Jesus are modeled after the Shroud of Turin and other earlier graven images which are supposed to be forbidden.

Of course Christians justify their hypocrisy with convoluted logic. Jack Sparks claims that the commandment was really saying that you aren't supposed to worship images, even though Exodus 20 clearly states that making them is also forbidden. Selective reading for the win!

 

Remember how you figured out there is no Santa? Well, their god is just like Santa. They just haven’t figured out he’s not real yet.


iwbiek
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 ok, so basically the story

 

ok, so basically the story is: guy gets ripped on beer, guy gets the drunk munchies, guy decides to fry bacon but in the meantime passes out on the couch and nearly burns the apartment down...and god singles him out for a special visitation.

wow.  just wow.

"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen


NoMoreCrazyPeople
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Another brilliant and wise

Another brilliant and wise revealing of himself by god.  Good choice again, in pig fat to a kid, awesome!  I'm a believer.  You think, just is the states let's say 1/10 people are cookin bacon everymorning for a year. 

30,000,000 X 365= 10,950,000,000 greased up bacon pans.

 

If I fried up that many I could probably find anything in the burnt grease patterns. 

I'm actually surprised people don't find more christian visions in the grease in their pans.

 

 


cj
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too bad I can't recommend posts

iwbiek wrote:

 

ok, so basically the story is: guy gets ripped on beer, guy gets the drunk munchies, guy decides to fry bacon but in the meantime passes out on the couch and nearly burns the apartment down...and god singles him out for a special visitation.

wow.  just wow.

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

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Brian37
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This is so fucking stupid.

This is so fucking stupid. So the best daddy can do is not to bring sudden world peace without more violence or crime. He takes 10,000 years of arm folding, lets us beat the shit out of each other over his name and favorite club, and the best he can do is a cameo parlor trick?

What an asshole. Sat up there with folded arms knowing he could stop the slaughter of 6 million Jews, knew he could stop the 19 Hijackers, but what his fans seem to masturbate the most over is crap like this.

They should make T-Shirts, "I survived 9/11 and all I got was this lousy pan".

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Strafio
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I think you're all taking

I think you're all taking this article a bit too seriously.
The guy burnt his pan in a Jesus shape, and now everyone's enjoying the novelty of it.
A burning in the shape of Darth Vader would have gotten the same treatment.

 

Chillax guys!!


iwbiek
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Strafio wrote:I think you're

Strafio wrote:

I think you're all taking this article a bit too seriously.
The guy burnt his pan in a Jesus shape, and now everyone's enjoying the novelty of it.
A burning in the shape of Darth Vader would have gotten the same treatment.

 

Chillax guys!!

 

riiiiiiight.  just wait till this guy goes the same road as the grilled cheese lady.

"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen


GodlessGabriel
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 I can't believe that

 I can't believe that people fall for these things and then try to convince others.

How f@$ked in the head could you be(or drunk, or drugged up) to believe that god carved his face in some fat?

"I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."


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It's a nice likeness of the

It's a nice likeness of the popular image of geezus. I'll bet it would make a great bacon sandwich at this point.


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http://www.thispeanutlookslik

Thomathy
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He obviously overcooked his

He obviously overcooked his bacon.

BigUniverse wrote,

"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."


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JonathanBC

kidvelvet
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If that were an All-Clad,

If that were an All-Clad, there wouldn't have been a problem.  Cast iron would be even better.

Cheap pan = Burnt Jesus

Good pan = Easy Cleanup.

No wonder Jesus never visits me while I am cooking.  

 

Dolt:"Evolution is just a theory."
Me:"Yes, so is light and gravity. Pardon me while I flash this strobe while dropping a bowling ball on your head. This shouldn't bother you; after all, these are just theories."


Thomathy
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The All-Clad could have been

The All-Clad could have been easier to clean because it's stainless steal.  I can think of a number of good uses for the burned bits after they've been lifted from the pan by alcohol.

But crispy bacon, as the bacon from that pan must have been, could only be showing the face of a divine being through the power of Satan or some malign evil in an attempt to deceive a true believer into worshiping a false idle.  See, crispy bacon is almost pure evil and not least because it's brittle and much of the flavour has surely been lost with fat due to the (over-cooking) crisping.  Soft bacon, on the other hand, with fat intact, hot, juicy and flavourful, would never present the image of a deity contravening the explicit laws of a holy book, for it is godly bacon, bacon of the gods and therefor ultimately good.  Let us sing:

Bacon is the food of gods,
It comes to us from porcine bods.

The fat is scrumptious!
And so we sing:
O, bacon! We'll eat with anything!

Bacon soft, not crispy, no!
The devil's in the crunch, you know?

The fat's the best, yes!
And so we sing:
O, bacon! We'll eat with anything!

Bacon how we love you so,
Thick or thin, corn meal or no.

The fat awesome!
And so we sing:
O, bacon!  We'll eat with anything!

BigUniverse wrote,

"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."


kidvelvet
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Thomathy wrote:The All-Clad

Thomathy wrote:

The All-Clad could have been easier to clean because it's stainless steal.  I can think of a number of good uses for the burned bits after they've been lifted from the pan by alcohol.

But crispy bacon, as the bacon from that pan must have been, could only be showing the face of a divine being through the power of Satan or some malign evil in an attempt to deceive a true believer into worshiping a false idle.  See, crispy bacon is almost pure evil and not least because it's brittle and much of the flavour has surely been lost with fat due to the (over-cooking) crisping.  Soft bacon, on the other hand, with fat intact, hot, juicy and flavourful, would never present the image of a deity contravening the explicit laws of a holy book, for it is godly bacon, bacon of the gods and therefor ultimately good.  Let us sing:

Bacon is the food of gods,
It comes to us from porcine bods.

The fat is scrumptious!
And so we sing:
O, bacon! We'll eat with anything!

Bacon soft, not crispy, no!
The devil's in the crunch, you know?

The fat's the best, yes!
And so we sing:
O, bacon! We'll eat with anything!

Bacon how we love you so,
Thick or thin, corn meal or no.

The fat awesome!
And so we sing:
O, bacon!  We'll eat with anything!

I should embroider that song on a pillow.  Nothing can describe its pure joy!

Bacon fond = Jesus sauce!

Dolt:"Evolution is just a theory."
Me:"Yes, so is light and gravity. Pardon me while I flash this strobe while dropping a bowling ball on your head. This shouldn't bother you; after all, these are just theories."