My apologies for re-opening old arguments and not looking for the answer myself immediately. I have looked up the definitions but still can't quite fit myself in between the two options. I do NOT believe in anything. I merely have the hope that there is a god because that would be nice when I die and it helps me to live a less crappy life. My ideas mostly help me to accept my terminally ill wife's death in the next 3-35 years from kidney failure.
The most honest view of my opinion is that I really don't know for sure, 100%, whether or not there is a god. I do not believe that a supreme being is likely but in my head would hope one exsists. Survival "instinct" is the only mechanism that bothers my puritan atheist view.
I think that to make me a full atheist then the "survival" instinct would need to be better proven to me. I see with my own two eyes that cats, trees, and rocks all have different survival insincts. Cats and trees are somewhat similar in that they have a desire to live. A rock has none, obviously, since it is a rock. But wouldn't a plant obviously have no reason to live when compared with an animal as complex as a cat? I understand fully that PERSPECTIVE has a huge role to play in a human being's view of complexity, but living beings survive, and natural chemicals and materials merely follow the path of least resistance in all instances. If living animals followed the path of least resistance like most materials, then why don't we have suicidal monkeys? Or any other animal?
Please help me clear up my beliefs. I do not BELIEVE in a god but due to the survival insinct in life I think that it is possible that a supreme being might exsist (if only a very slight chance exists).