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I BELIEVE... you have my stapler.

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Submitted by Kapkao on February 16, 2010 - 11:55pm.

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milton waddams wrote:And I

Submitted by Kapkao on February 17, 2010 - 12:04am.

milton waddams wrote:
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)

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waddams wrote:Excuse me?

Submitted by Kapkao on February 17, 2010 - 12:08am.

waddams wrote:

Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...

And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt.

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)

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Quote:I was told that I

Submitted by Kapkao on February 17, 2010 - 12:11am.

waddams wrote:

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

 

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)

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(No subject)

Submitted by Kapkao on February 17, 2010 - 1:25am.

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You're not wearing enough

Submitted by darth_josh on February 17, 2010 - 4:04am.

You're not wearing enough flair today.

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.

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Quote:You can just go ahead

Submitted by Kapkao on February 17, 2010 - 7:03pm.

Quote:
You can just go ahead and move a little bit to the left. Yeah, that's it. Great.

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"So I was sitting in my

Submitted by darth_josh on February 18, 2010 - 10:11pm.

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.

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darth_josh wrote:"So I was

Submitted by Kapkao on February 18, 2010 - 10:35pm.

darth_josh wrote:

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

Quote:
"We still goin' fishin' this weekend?"

"Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it."

"Well, you can get out of that easily."

"Yeah? How?"

"Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, all you gotta do is avoid him... on the last few hours on Friday, duck out early, turn off your answering machine... you should be home free, man."

"That's a really good idea."

"Fuckin' A, man!"

Quote:

"It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO."

"That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom"

"Yes, this is horrible, this idea."

Quote:

Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)

(No subject)

Submitted by Cpt_pineapple on February 18, 2010 - 10:54pm.

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Pineapple, is that your

Submitted by darth_josh on February 18, 2010 - 11:02pm.

Pineapple, is that your 'oh-face'?

You know? "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.

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Cpt_pineapple wrote: 

Submitted by Kapkao on February 19, 2010 - 12:16am.

Cpt_pineapple wrote:

 

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darth_josh wrote:Pineapple,

Submitted by Kapkao on February 19, 2010 - 1:18pm.

darth_josh wrote:

Pineapple, is that your 'oh-face'?

You know? "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Quote:

This is a... fuck!

Quote:

Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...

Quote:

Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right. W-Why do you ask, anyway?

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)