The Dumbest Thing I've Seen Today
Posted on: March 2, 2009 - 5:51pm
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The Dumbest Thing I've Seen Today
Retired barber Joe Godlewski says that when television chefs recommended kosher salt in recipes, he wondered, "What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?" I can't think of anything to say to this. It's so dumb, any comment would give it more dignity than it deserves.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
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Now available in Presbyterian with 40% less sodium, and Baptist with 0% fat!
I'm going to market Faith Dirt. If you have faith, buy this dirt! Use it in your garden to ward off evil spirits (also known as gnomes). Sprinkle over your bed after you masturbate to forgive yourself of your sins! Put it in your husband's food to prevent him from cheating and save your marriage! 1001 uses! Buy it today!
Faith Dirt. As seen on TV.
(only 3 easy payments of $19.99. Limited to one bucket per caller.)
Wonderist on Facebook — Support the idea of wonderism by 'liking' the Wonderism page — or join the open Wonderism group to take part in the discussion!
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I'm guessing you've never seen Himalayan salt advertized.
http://www.himalayanlivingsalt.com/
"I am that I am." - Proof that the writers of the bible were beyond stoned.
There's part of me that wants to give the Christians a harder time about this... wasn't it Jesus who got mad at the sellers in the temple?
Still... anyone who doesn't know that salt is salt... well... there isn't much hope, is there?
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Damnit! That's genius! I wish I would've thought of that.
I wonder if the pickle market is still wide open?
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
Perhaps someone could market "Atheist Salt"? No faith required, science has proven the contents of this jar to be salt.
Free your mind.
So if Sam Harris meditates over sea salt, that means nothing made the sea salt special?
This just in from CNN.... farts smell!
Blessing salt is like blessing fertility which many cultures do even outside Christianity. Hindus in many circles still sport a penis symbol and pray to it in hopes for a healthy conception.
I guess that explains the failure of Christians trying to replicate praying to a dick for the past 8 years.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
If the motherfucker makes money, I just want to point out that I will feel ashamed for not thinking of it first.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
Hmmm maybe we could sell water in milk cartons as "Bottled H2O" or "Dihydrogen Monoxide"
People who think there is something they refer to as god don't ask enough questions.
You know, if it had ended here, it would have been kind of funny.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
I would buy some to use while drinking tequilla (while having unproctected premarital sex) but I decided to stop giving money to churches and their ilk a long time ago.
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." - Bertrand Russell
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
We can do even better. There is a kiosk in my local mall with a hot Israeli babe selling dead sea salt with kiwi juice in small jars for $35. Every so often, she forgets that I will not buy the stuff and tries to make a hard sell on me for her product.
After I am done with her demonstration (you scrub your hands with it for soft skin), I always feel very metrosexual for the experience. But on the other hand, she has nice tits that I can stare at while I do what I could do just as easily at home with sand paper.
Yah, you can do that if you want to. I took the liberty of googling the company that he is using and it turns out that they make specialized small batch orders of various spices with your own custom labeling.
You can make the salt if you want to but I claim under IP law the absolute right to market atheist chili powder. It is hotter than...well nothing is hotter than my chili powder.
=
Sea salt is nice; I use it to clean my piercings. It seems to be sold as woo-woo bullshit a lot, though. Have you seen the sea salt nasal spray? You can rinse your nose out with sea salt solution for 1/100th the price if you make it yourself.
Sea salt is not just salt, by the way. It has a different texture and lacks Iodine. Maybe all these fundies will die from goiter.
My Brand New Blog - Jesu Ad Nauseum.
God of the Gaps: As knowledge approaches infinity, God approaches zero. It's introductory calculus.
I once had a brilliant idea to market Wasabi Nasal Spray! Clears your sinuses faster than Mr. Miyagi can catch a fly with his chopsticks! (Not recommended for children. May cause severe eye-watering.)
That's why I said the Presbyterian version has 40% less sodium. It's true! Sea salt is less sodium chloride, and more other things like magnesium chloride. See? No false advertising. 0% fat too!
Wonderist on Facebook — Support the idea of wonderism by 'liking' the Wonderism page — or join the open Wonderism group to take part in the discussion!
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Dihydrogen monoxide kills at least hundreds, if not thousands, of people every year. Did you know that dozens of malignant tumors were biopsied and each and every one had dihydrogen monoxide in it? In my chemical engineering studies at my university we study dihydrogen monoxide for its uses as a powerful industrial solvent. It tears apart ionic compounds on contact and disolves virtually any polar compound. This is potent stuff. The only problem with it is that it will degrade most metal surfaces and will eat its way through most metals if given enough time. Worse yet, when designing chemical processing plants, it is legal to let waste dihydrogen monoxide be pumped into streams or vapor dihydrogen monoxide be released into the air. At this point it is virtually guarenteed that you are breathing in some amount of that powerful industrial solvent. We need to get the government to ban its use and we need to do so now!
For more information on this dangerous substance, please look into the research of Teller R.J., Jillete P.F, et al.
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."
British General Charles Napier while in India
Is this the dumbest thing that we have ever seen, or is it marketing brilliance? I'm leaning towards marketing brilliance. As Eric Cartman said: "Each Christian is a walking, praying wallet full of cash." Wise words from a wise man. Only the brilliant marketing observations of Butters are more profound: "Ha ha! We're not really Christian, we are just pretending to be to make money!"
Yes, I know Southpark quotes off the top of my head and yes, I think I have drank perhaps a bit too much jagermeister tonight.
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."
British General Charles Napier while in India
The Dumbest thing you've seen today?...Fear not Hamby, there's always tommorow. Christians have a better "Hit to lyric" ratio than the Beatles...
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
You forgot something. It is also the prime component of global temperature, and the biggest single cause of global warming(after the sun, of course).
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
All that and it's in everything we eat as well. Everything is contaminated with it. Even the most organically grown food still has it. It permeates anything and everything.
Not only that, it's in your body and you're addicted to it. Go a week without ingesting a fair amount (read: more than you inadvertently inhale) and you'll die.
Dihydrogen monoxide? Like... H20? Like, water? Hehehe! That is so insanely clever! I want a piece of this!
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
Because gullible people compete. Salt is salt, and it being blessed by a Rabbi or a Priest, is as rediculous as having it blessed by Captian Kirk.
In their myth loving minds, if you "bless" it, like crossing your fingers, maybe it will stave off high blood pressure.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
So, while it's still nonsense to have food guaranteed to have been processed according to some arbitrary standards, Kosher food is not 'blessed' in any sense because of a belief that the food is somehow better, only that it conforms to a particular standard (which maybe considered better).
What is so fucking funny about the Christian getting the sea salt blessed by an Episcopalian priest is the sheer ignorance behind the very idea of the product.
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
You are not a "True TM, Copywrite" Republican. First off, you don't believe in magical beings. Secondly, if you are to be a Republican, looking at naughty parts is a big no no, just like going home after the fact and spanking your monkey over it.
SHAME ON YOU!
Yes women have tits, but you are not allowed to think about them or look at them. You are the worst example of a Republican I have ever met. How dare you call yourself a Republican!
(note to self: did I think that, or type it?)
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog