WTF is Pentecost?

MattShizzle
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WTF is Pentecost?

I saw on the calendar that today is Pentecost? What the fuck is Pentecost? I don't mean Petecostal, I know that's a holy-roller form of Christianity - and I guess they're named after it.

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Something about the Holy

Something about the Holy Spirit falling out of the sky...

 

http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecost

 

Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.

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 "oh shit I slipped off the

 

"oh shit I slipped off the cloud! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh fuck me! Oh fuck I just blasphemed myself, I'm going to hell!"

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 Pentecost is a feast day

 Pentecost is a feast day commemorating the introduction of the new Church of Jesus Christ to the Holy Spirit following Christ's ascension into Heaven to seat at the Right Hand of the Father.  Duh.

But seriously, folks, Pentecost is the traditional beginning of the church as managed by humans (in concert with the Holy Spirit); the apostles and other followers of Christ gathered together to celebrate a Jewish feast and were suddenly given the "gift" of being able to preach the Gospel.  This supposedly included the ability to speak in languages in which the apostles had previously had no instruction.  Modern day Pentecostals take this as a sign to jabber on incessantly, making up words and phrasings as they go.  As comes as no surprise, children are really good at this.  Additionally, it's quite clear that this actually happens, given that by the words that come out of American Pentecostals mouths, it's quite clear that they didn't learn to speak English until shortly before the camera crews showed up.

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MattShizzle wrote:I saw on

MattShizzle wrote:

I saw on the claendar that today is Pentecost? What the fuck is Pentecost? I don't mean Petecostal, I know that's a holy-roller form of Christianity - and I guess their named after it.

I remember from Catholic school, this must be 40 days after Easter. I think they just said it was when Jesus went up into heaven. He hung around for 40 days after resurrection, then he must have gotten bored with earth. So he went back to being the heavenly dictator.

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Maybe he got tired of the

Maybe he got tired of the confusion:

"JESUS CHRIST!!!!" "What is it, and you don't need to yell, I'm only 10 feet away?" "Oh, not you I hit my thumb with a hammer."

"Jesus fucking Christ what was that?" "It was just a meteorite and my middle name is 'Eugene' not 'Fucking.' Why do so many people think my middle name is either 'fucking' or something starting with 'H?' I've had it, I'm going back to Heaven. I hope people stop reading that book with all that made up shit about me, otherwise they'll be confused when they meet me. They call it the Bible for my sake. Hopefully in a few years they stop reading that shit."

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You tie my bow tie!

DamnDirtyApe wrote:

This supposedly included the ability to speak in languages in which the apostles had previously had no instruction.  Modern day Pentecostals take this as a sign to jabber on incessantly, making up words and phrasings as they go.

My wife calls those "Bow-tie" churches. If you rapidly mutter, "I tie my bow tie, you tie my bow tie," over and over again, it sounds like you're speaking in tongues.

Those are the scary churches. Not as scary as snake handlers, but scary.

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It's weird,talking in

It's weird,talking in tongues is pretty much the norm for christians down here. I don't think we even have Pentacostal churches. Unless it's a catholic or dutch reformed church, it's a given you can talk in tongues and no ones gonna give it a second thought.

Is tongues seen as more extreme in America/Canada?

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

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This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

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 In a word,

 In a word, abbaaabalalalasesesesecommacomma...I mean, yes.  I routinely listen to Christian radio broadcast for the humor value and even though the guys I usually listen to are way out there and regularly criticize what we call mainline Protestants (Lutherans, Presbyterians and Episcopalians) and even Baptists for being too soft, they also give the Pentecostals in particular a ration of shit for speaking in tongues.

"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell


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Why would God make them

Why would God make them spout out something nobody there would understand? How do they know it's not backwards talking messages from the devil?

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MattShizzle wrote:Why would

MattShizzle wrote:

Why would God make them spout out something nobody there would understand? How do they know it's not backwards talking messages from the devil?

Apparently it's the heavenly language and irrefutable proof of god's existence.

Well in a church I went to,which was pretty out there,they had a system.Apparently in the bible is says all commands in tongues must be translated and tested or something.So when ever someone in this church,mainly the pastor, said something in tongues,another elder or whatever would translate it to make sure it was of god.Don't ask me what stopped the other guy from making stuff up. But christians don't believe other christians can lie so it's ok.

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


pauljohntheskeptic
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Pentecost is the day the

Pentecost is the day the Holy Spirit supposedly descended on the Disciples-Apostles. This was allegedly during the Jewish festival of Shavuot a harvest festival that happens 50 days after passover. Pentecost is simply the Greek derived word for the Jewish name. See Acts 2 for the Sci-Fi version of the event. The Apostles were gathered together hiding no doubt so they too weren't caught and executed for crimes against Rome such as rebellion. Their leader Jesus had attacked people in the financial center which the Temple was at the time. This action was not one where a ticket was issued usually it was arrest by the Romans and execution for rebellion. Since they too were rebels they would have been hiding as they had since Jesus was executed for his crimes against Rome.

On the day of the festival they were all together when a mighty wind came. Perhaps a jet plane that fell into a space-time hole or a down draft from a thunderstorm. They all began to exhibit glossolalia or speaking in tongues, aka gibberish. They also supposedly had flames proceeding from their heads, too much hot sauce in the meal no doubt. They ran into the streets and unknown unnamed Jews from throughout Roman lands understood them in their own language in Greek, Latin, Arabic, etc. It was said that they were drunk by some observers. Peter, the only named person in the account told these accusers it was only the 3rd hour how could they be drunk. Perhaps they were still working on yesterday's booze and hadn't slept. that's how, duh. Peter addressed the people telling them this was foretold by Joel, see Joel 2:28-32. Yet, no one claimed the moon turned to blood and no claim of a darkened Sun is made. As only Peter is named and no other there is no proof this occurred at all except perhaps in the mind of the Sci-Fi writer Luke who likely wrote this fantasy.

Luke would have you believe the Apostles were charged up with the Holy Ghost in this event. However Christian belief is never that simple as what of John 20:22 where Jesus gave them the Holy Ghost. I know, they must have needed to top off with a little more spirit.

One more fun thing, in Peter's speech he told the crowd in Acts 2:22 that Jesus was a man approved of God. No where here is he Jesus the son of God.

 

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The bible would have been so

The bible would have been so much more interesting if you had written it pauljohntheskeptic


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pauljohntheskeptic wrote:One

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:

One more fun thing, in Peter's speech he told the crowd in Acts 2:22 that Jesus was a man approved of God. No where here is he Jesus the son of God.

One would hope He'd approve of His own Son! I mean, what kind of father would not approve of his son? That's right, a jerky one. Well, unless his son were a complete dick. In which case, disapproval is acceptable.

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Loc wrote:The bible would

Loc wrote:

The bible would have been so much more interesting if you had written it pauljohntheskeptic

Thanks Loc, I try. I can thank many parochial school teachers for my attitude plus a few Jesuit priests that made me cynical and satirical.

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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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nigelTheBold

nigelTheBold wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:

One more fun thing, in Peter's speech he told the crowd in Acts 2:22 that Jesus was a man approved of God. No where here is he Jesus the son of God.

One would hope He'd approve of His own Son! I mean, what kind of father would not approve of his son? That's right, a jerky one. Well, unless his son were a complete dick. In which case, disapproval is acceptable.

 

Actually read the Bible - Jesus was a complete dick. Of course so was God so no wonder he accepted him.

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MattShizzle

MattShizzle wrote:

nigelTheBold wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:

One more fun thing, in Peter's speech he told the crowd in Acts 2:22 that Jesus was a man approved of God. No where here is he Jesus the son of God.

One would hope He'd approve of His own Son! I mean, what kind of father would not approve of his son? That's right, a jerky one. Well, unless his son were a complete dick. In which case, disapproval is acceptable.

 

Actually read the Bible - Jesus was a complete dick. Of course so was God so no wonder he accepted him.

The point I was making Acts says he was a man, not God, as do several of Paul's Epistles. If he is but a man then what. The Christian concept that God sent part of himself as a sacrifice to himself to forgive himself for his screwup where he promised himself a blood sacrifice as he felt his honor was impinged because he screwed up his human design and must have a way to forgive himself for that. His logic might have a problem. I may have missed one of his promises or his screwups there somewhere not sure.

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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I always point out the

I always point out the similarity in that story to a guy that demands revenge anytime anyone pisses him off - then his friend pisses him off but he wants to still be friends. Since he demands revenge he takes it on himself to avoid harming his friend. He gets out his buck knife and cuts off his own finger. He then offers it to the friend - if the friend accepts, everything is cool. But if he gasps in horror, runs away, or calls the police to have him taken to the ER for surgery and a psych evaluation he will come after him even worse than normal.

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DamnDirtyApe

DamnDirtyApe wrote:

 Pentecost is a feast day commemorating the introduction of the new Church of Jesus Christ to the Holy Spirit following Christ's ascension into Heaven to seat at the Right Hand of the Father.  Duh.

But seriously, folks, Pentecost is the traditional beginning of the church as managed by humans (in concert with the Holy Spirit); the apostles and other followers of Christ gathered together to celebrate a Jewish feast and were suddenly given the "gift" of being able to preach the Gospel.  This supposedly included the ability to speak in languages in which the apostles had previously had no instruction.  Modern day Pentecostals take this as a sign to jabber on incessantly, making up words and phrasings as they go.  As comes as no surprise, children are really good at this.  Additionally, it's quite clear that this actually happens, given that by the words that come out of American Pentecostals mouths, it's quite clear that they didn't learn to speak English until shortly before the camera crews showed up.

Ah, so is that why they like to pray in tongues? I've always wondered why they did that, especially considering how paranoid they are about witchcraft and devil worship.