Why do Christians always say "God is testing you" when you are facing a crisis in life?

mtonkin666
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Why do Christians always say "God is testing you" when you are facing a crisis in life?

I'll try to explain my situation to the best that I can. I am not too attractive and have difficulties finding a date being guy who is only 5'2". I've talked to a lot of people who are Christians about my difficulties dating and they have always said that "God is testing you". My dating difficulties are the primary reason that I no longer believe in God but I haven't told any of my friends this. Isn't this crazy to say that God is simply testing me? If you look at it, I am receiving a more difficult "test" than some guy who is tall and handsome. If he is testing me and now realizes that I am lonely and depressed wouldn't he decide his test is too hard and try and assist me? When I did believe in God I kept praying for help and when God appeared not to care, I wondered why God hated me until I finally concluded that there is no possibility that God could exist. When I started to question God, don't you think God would do something to prove he exists rather than let me decide he doesn't exist? Why did God make me so short and unattractive? I'm sorry for the rant but I am frustrated with being excluded from the dating scene just because I was not born a normal tall, good looking man and want answers. It makes it even more hard when I always hear that God is simply "testing" me. Why would God give someone else a more difficult test than everyone else?

 


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Read the Bible - God's a

Read the Bible - God's a real asshat!

Seriously, it's one of those answers they use when they have no real answer.

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triften
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I think they use the "god

I think they use the "god is testing you" line so that the events better fit into their "god loves everyone" belief. Of course, some will turn around and say that "god is punishing you" depending on what they know about the person they are explaining things to.

BTW, welcome to the boards.

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Welcome, mtonkin666! Women,

Welcome, mtonkin666!

Women, yeah, that's always a bit difficult situation to figure out.  I struggled with it quite a bit.  I was 6'1", skinny, and a decent looking person I suppose.  I still had a hell of a problem with women.  Much more so than the average guy.

Eventually I figured out a trick, I guess you could say.  Well not really a trick, but a method that really could hook a woman's interest.

You know that internal dialogue you have running in your head, mtonkin?  That emotion filled impassioned stream of consciousness?

You've got to learn how to say that out loud to them.  Really.  Let it flow out of you.  Talk to them like you are talking to yourself.  Give up all the pretensions and posturing.  Just let the inner self flow out.  They go ga-ga over a guy that can do that.

I finally found out how to do that and I had women falling over me left and right.  Of course it only lasted a few months after that.  I met my wife, got married, and had a couple kids.  But for a few months there, I had women crawling all over me.

*sigh*  If only I had figured that out when I was 16 instead of 26.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci


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They are insecure about

They are insecure about their beliefs. They know there is a large issue with it. They are brainwashed into believing that problem isn't an issue with their belief but actually God or Satan testing your faith. Meaning despite that information... the default position and correct position is actually belief and NOT non-belief. There's a broken loop that they don't want you to see.


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I'd also like to point out

I'd also like to point out Julia Sweeny's Letting go of God. It really shows this loop very much.


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By saying god is testing

By saying god is testing you, its a confort blanket. The answer to THAT is the idea that god never gives you more than you can bear(sp?) and you should just bow your head and accept it like a good little sheep.

Of course you can always do what an atheist would do and try and improve your situation somehow, thats what i would do. 

Morte alla tyrannus et dei


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Maybe the test is whether

Maybe the test is whether or not we go up in a cloud of nuclear radiation.

Christians assume our intrinsic worth is sufficient that god would have more than passing interest in our day to day angst. Christian's,  at least today's "personal relationship with god" variety have built themselves a nifty little guilded cage (trap?). If bad things, or not so good things, happen, you are being tested - glory to god! If good things happen, you're bein showered with god's blessings via his grace - glory to god! Either way it's out of your hands. Don't question, just believe.

I suspect your issues with women are far more mundane than some existential test by god. Which also means it's likely far more solvable.


RagenGaijin
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that sucks but height

That sucks but height doesn't count you out right away, what else are you doing? Post a picture of yourself with your "dating clothes" on. Tom Cruise is 5'4" and he bags much ass. Better yet post a youtube vid so we can rate your verbal ability too. Also it depends on what type of girl you want. Just popping random sluts or do you want a steady relationship?


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mtonkin666 wrote: I'll try

mtonkin666 wrote:

I'll try to explain my situation to the best that I can. I am not too attractive and have difficulties finding a date being guy who is only 5'2". I've talked to a lot of people who are Christians about my difficulties dating and they have always said that "God is testing you". My dating difficulties are the primary reason that I no longer believe in God but I haven't told any of my friends this. Isn't this crazy to say that God is simply testing me? If you look at it, I am receiving a more difficult "test" than some guy who is tall and handsome. If he is testing me and now realizes that I am lonely and depressed wouldn't he decide his test is too hard and try and assist me? When I did believe in God I kept praying for help and when God appeared not to care, I wondered why God hated me until I finally concluded that there is no possibility that God could exist. When I started to question God, don't you think God would do something to prove he exists rather than let me decide he doesn't exist? Why did God make me so short and unattractive? I'm sorry for the rant but I am frustrated with being excluded from the dating scene just because I was not born a normal tall, good looking man and want answers. It makes it even more hard when I always hear that God is simply "testing" me. Why would God give someone else a more difficult test than everyone else?

 

Welcome mtonkin666.  

As far as the theological implications regarding your stature I believe you have already moved forward and discovered the correct position in regards to God's supposed involvement.  You have now dispensed with the unecessary burden of attempting to find answers from mythology.  Consider that a positive step.

As far as the very real issue of body image and what society in general expects of men in regards to appearance, that is indeed a legitimate concern. As a fellow male who also struggles against the concept of the ideal male..I feel your pain ( sorry, I know that's corny but you know what I mean Tongue out

Anyway, I wanted to relate to you the experiences of a former co-worker.   My friend David weighs 240 lbs and is 5'3".  He's a fairly athletic guy who works out in the gym with me.  He knows he has to overcome some obstacles ( he's got a gut, too ) but he tries to maximize what he's got and he works really hard at it.

He's never lacked a girlfriend ( for very long ) and seems to do pretty well in that area...but he tries to find women who have similar stature. 

Remember there are almost always females out there who struggle with the same issues as you do.  I would suggest that if possible you attempt to seek out those fine babes who are more related to you in stature.  Your similarities constitute common ground and could easily work to your advantage.

Anyway, I hope you didn't mind receiving advice from a total stranger.  Life really can be shitty but I hope you can at least find a little happiness while you're alive on this Earth. 

 


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mtonkin666 wrote: ........

mtonkin666 wrote:
........ I am frustrated with being excluded from the dating scene just because I was not born a normal tall, good looking man ......

You think a tall, good looking man is normal? Next time you're in a crowd, take a look around.

 

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Actually the shorter you

Actually the shorter you are, the more the REAL God (the Flying Spaghetti Monster) loves you - he is pushing down on you with more of his noodly appendages than on most other people.

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mtonkin666

mtonkin666 wrote:

...difficulties finding a date being guy who is only 5'2".

Wait a minute...

Mtonkin666, how old are you?  Are you like a teenager or very early 20's?  If you are I know something you might be very interested in.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci


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i have the same idea about it as many people have had previously

they use is to maintain there god loves everyone  spiel        which is a load of horse shit  but that’s beside the point  its because they are asshats like stated above juvenile hypercritic asshats 


Evolved Morality


jmm
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This is a bogus question. 

This is a bogus question.  It's loaded.  Not all Christians say this.

It's like asking a man, "when did you stop beating your wife?"  Not all men beat their wives. 


wavefreak
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jmm wrote: This is a bogus

jmm wrote:

This is a bogus question. It's loaded. Not all Christians say this.

It's like asking a man, "when did you stop beating your wife?" Not all men beat their wives.

 It's a fair question in the context of the opening post. While it is true that not all Christians hold to the "god is testing you" mantra, in this case it has been Christians that offered that explanation for the circumstances described.


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jmm wrote: This is a bogus

jmm wrote:
This is a bogus question. It's loaded. Not all Christians say this.

It's like asking a man, "when did you stop beating your wife?" Not all men beat their wives.

 

If you read his post, he doesn't say that all Christians say this. He says that those he's talked to do.

He says: I've talked to a lot of people who are Christians about my difficulties dating and they have always said that "God is testing you".

And he ends the post by asking: Why would God give someone else a more difficult test than everyone else?

 

Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?


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You will hear "god is

You will hear "god is testing you" and "these things are sent to try us", usually followed with a shrug and a sigh.

 

What you will never hear is questions about why god insists on "testing" so many to destruction, why won't he stop the test before the act of suicide.

 

So many times you will hear "praise the lord!" when something good happens but never a "hey god, what the fuck?" when something bad happens.

 

He gets all of the credit and non of the blame, it's the christians way of dealing with such an erratic god rather than contemplate the may not be one at all.


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mtonkin666 wrote:

mtonkin666 wrote:

My dating difficulties are the primary reason that I no longer believe in God.

MTokin...with all respect...I lol'ed hard and you still think like Christian. Anyway lets back to subject.

First...NO ONE will help you.

Attractiveness is not a thing which you can learn from anybody or from any book. There is no top secret ways to hit on girl. In time of celebrities worshipping and global media we have access to photos and videos of the most gorgeous, perfect ladies and gentlemen of the world.

As I assume from your post you don't fit into this group. A pity...

But welcome in reality of 80-90 % ( whatever your criteria are) of our population ! So what I was talking about ah yes...did you say anything about lack of possibilities to find a woman ?

At least you can be happy you don't born a woman. I am sure most people agree with me that pressure on woman to be physically perfect is much bigger in our culture.

Father of my ex said then she have been born: “I hope she will be rather pretty and stupid then smart and ugly” And he was unfortunately right.

To be honest I am not sure you are ready to relationship at all:

mtonkin666 wrote:

I am not too attractive and have difficulties finding a date being guy who is only 5'2"

but fortunately THIS is a thing you can learn by yourself.

I am not even sure that what I learn for now is true but what a hell you asked for that.

Start from yourself stop judge yourself in criteria: ”I am ugly and short so I am not attractive, it did not work last time it will not work now“.

Attractiveness is little more complicated then being pretty.

Work on your self-confidence and your Ego it makes lonely existance far much enjoyable.

Nooo I am not asking you to go in same direction like me to become arrogant twat who is daring to give you life advises now:

Find who you are, find what is important for you in your life and what you want to do and achieve. If you know that you are halfway to success.

Why ? First, because nobody likes bland, empty people without personality and opinion. Do you like to speak with wall? I don't.

Second, most people prefer people similar to them with character, personality and way of life when it comes to long relationship. Sometimes it is some sense of humour, sometimes fact you make better photos with SLR then she, yes she doesn't give a shit that you are interested in gears.

It is far less true about similar physical attractiveness.

And that's why she talks with you, spends time with you, talks with you, fells good with you and wants to stay with you ( for a time-being, nothing is permanent ). And that's same reasons you should want to be with somebody.

Do you want to met Her ? Start to socialize with people like you then date with random girls.

Stop looking for “date”. Start looking for Her and don't forget to look for Yourself.

Last thing, you will realize that these hints are completely useless and false you have to keep faith brother !

Just kidding.

PS: Sorry if I disappoint you

mtonkin666 wrote:

My dating difficulties are the primary reason that I no longer believe in God.

MTokin...with all respect...I lol'ed hard and you still think like Christian. Anyway lets back to subject.

First...NO ONE will help you.

Attractiveness is not a thing which you can learn from anybody or from any book. There is no top secret ways to hit on girl. In time of celebrities worshipping and global media we have access to photos and videos of the most gorgeous, perfect ladies and gentlemen of the world.

As I assume from your post you don't fit into this group. A pity...

But welcome in reality of 80-90 % ( whatever your criteria are) of our population ! So what I was talking about ah yes...did you said anything about lack of possibilities to find a woman ?

At least you can be happy you don't born a woman. I am sure most people agree with me that pressure on woman to be physically perfect is much bigger in our culture.

Father of my ex said then she have been born: “I hope she will be rather pretty and stupid then smart and ugly” And he was unfortunately right.

To be honest I am not sure you are ready to relationship at all:

mtonkin666 wrote:

I am not too attractive and have difficulties finding a date being guy who is only 5'2"

but fortunately THIS is a thing you can learn by yourself.

I am not even sure that what I learn for now is true but what a hell you asked for that.

Start from yourself stop judge yourself in criteria: ”I am ugly and short so I am not attractive, it did not work last time it will not work now“.

Attractiveness is little more complicated then being pretty.

Work on your self-confidence and your Ego it makes lonely existance far much enjoyable.

Nooo I am not asking you to go in same direction like me to become arrogant twat who is daring to give you life advises now:

Find who you are, find what is important for you in your life and what you want to do and achieve. If you know that you are halfway to success.

Why ? First, because nobody likes bland, empty people without personality and opinion. Do you like to speak with wall? I don't.

Second, most people prefer people similar to them with character, personality and way of life when it comes to long relationship. Sometimes it is some sense of humour, sometimes fact you make better photos with SLR then she, yes she doesn't give a shit that you are interested in gears.

It is far less true about similar physical attractiveness.

And that's why she talks with you, spends time with you, talks with you, fells good with you and wants to stay with you ( for a time-being, nothing is permanent ). And that's same reasons you should want to be with somebody.

Do you want to met Her ? Start to socialize with people like you then date with random girls.

Stop looking for “date”. Start looking for Her and don't forget to look for Yourself. World doesn't end on Utah and morons..err I mean Mormons.

Last thing if you will realize that these tips are completely useless and false, you have to keep faith brother !

Just kidding.

PS: Sorry if I disappoint you and didn't show you how bang that hot chick from financial department...deal with that Eye-wink

 



Ecrasez l'infame!


mtonkin666
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I'm sorry for post

I'd like to apologize for my post. I am just frustrated with my personal problems and really shouldn't have posted. Thanks for your opinions.


mtonkin666
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Apology

From my post it sounds like I am saying that all Christians say this which isn't what I mean't and I am sorry to sound like I was making such a genaralization.


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No need to apologize. You

No need to apologize. You had something on your mind and needed to vent. We all do it. I think that's part of what this fourm is all about.

Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?


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mtonkin666!

mtonkin666,

Your comments make me laugh. [MOD EDIT] First of all I recommend you stop trying to blame the mormon church, your life in utah, or god for your "tough life" and "dating dificulties". The answer to why god is "testing you" is quite simple. He IS NOT TESTING YOU AT ALL! I don't know about other christians but a mormon would never say that "god is testing" you. Here's the simple answer: YOU are the reason why YOU cannot find a date but YOU want to blame it all on god. I've never heard of a guy who is short having dating problems and am quite sure if I do a random sample of women 100% wouldn't give a crap how tall a guy is! Do you see Tom Cruise struggling to find a date? How did you even graduate from college? [MOD EDIT]


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I forgot to mention that the

[MOD EDIT] btw, I know about utah! I am mormon and know plenty of nonmembers who had no problems living in utah.


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Tiredofit, So far you have

Tiredofit,

So far you have left a total of two posts, both of them offering nothing but insults.  You need to get a grip.  We don't care for such childish behavior.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci


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tiredofit You have been

tiredofit

You have been here, as a member, for approximately one hour. Your contribution, if quantified here, would probably be considered in the negative. Now, on this server, bandwith is rather precious, so the mods are not particularly scrupulous when it comes to potential trolls. If I was being polite, I would suggest kindly that you either consider that when discoursing with your interlocutors, that you show at least a bare minimum of pleasantry in your exchange considering that otherwise you will rather be looked upon with scorn. Alternatively, you could shut the fuck up, at least, if you don't actually have any content or anything other than vapid bilge that has been found in your prose in the one hour that you've been a member. But what you are spewing at present is unacceptable. There is nothing wrong with insults, I assure you, I have bestowed them upon plenty of my interlocutors, and indeed, I'm sure there are plenty that I could assign to you, but I at least make the attempt to always accompany such epitaphs with actual content, and usually that takes precedance. I suggest you employ this strategy otherwise the mod team will give you the collective middle finger, and you will no longer be welcome here. 

"Physical reality” isn’t some arbitrary demarcation. It is defined in terms of what we can systematically investigate, directly or not, by means of our senses. It is preposterous to assert that the process of systematic scientific reasoning arbitrarily excludes “non-physical explanations” because the very notion of “non-physical explanation” is contradictory.

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deludedgod wrote: There

deludedgod wrote:

There is nothing wrong with insults

DG - you are a small man and your mother smells of elderberries!

 

 

 

Ooooo. That felt good. You're right. Nothing wrong with insults! 


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wavefreak

wavefreak wrote:
deludedgod wrote:

There is nothing wrong with insults

DG - you are a small man and your mother smells of elderberries!

Ooooo. That felt good. You're right. Nothing wrong with insults!

 

Welcome to the Dark Side...

 

mtonkin666 , Marc...I have read all your posts, I am not psychologist but you really should speak with psychologist you have definitely problems with depression.


 

Ecrasez l'infame!


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Rev 2:10 Fear none of those

Rev 2:10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a CROWN OF LIFE.

 

MY POST#1? FOUND BY "MY" GOOGLE SEARCH "WHY IS GOD TESTING ME?" I FOUND YOU. BUT WHY.......................I BELEIVE YOUR ANSWER IS IN GODS WORDS ABOVE............


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Christians have to say this

Christians have to say this because of the Problem of Evil. They cannot explain how God can be omnipotent and omnibenevolent yet there still be suffering like yours in the word. You've come to your atheism by an unusual route but, I think, a completely valid one.

If you want to get laid, get rich and hang around with a less rich crowd. Your height won't be an issue, trust me. 

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Mike2500: "Rev 2:10 Fear

Mike2500: "Rev 2:10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a CROWN OF LIFE.

 

MY POST#1? FOUND BY "MY" GOOGLE SEARCH "WHY IS GOD TESTING ME?" I FOUND YOU. BUT WHY.......................I BELEIVE YOUR ANSWER IS IN GODS WORDS ABOVE............"

 

Huh?


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Sorry to hear about your

Sorry to hear about your problems brother. I can understand where you're coming from totally. My wife passed away a year and a half ago. I am only 38 so at some point I want to move on and date again. However, it has been over 20 years since I have dated and I don't look forward to dating again for so many reasons. I don't have a lot of confidence around women myself, but there is always someone for everyone if you just take the time. There are lots of guys here with some really good advise, just listen to them.

God, if it existed, wouldn't have to test anybody would it? I mean if god is all-knowing and all-powerful, why would you need to be tested? It's just another silly thing fundies say when they can't offer you any real advise or a real explanation whey shit happens. If anything god, if it existed, might just like fuckin people over from time to time. My 2 cents. Peace.

"Always seek out the truth, but avoid at all costs those that claim to have found it" ANONYMOUS