a thinking Christian-could it be??
Well, I have been trolling this site for a short while. Not to be nosy, but to see what the mind of an atheist is like. What do you believe, not believe etc. I have been given great answers, been cursed at, a pet peeve of mine, called a liar once, but I have learned alot, and thank you for your honesty.
The one thing I learned a great deal by just observing your posts is that Christians, in your opinion are mindless robotic idiots. We have been accused of not researching, accepting our faith blindly, etc. You know what, Ithink you may be on to something. It was hard to admit, but when I saw the wealth of knowledge here, I was blown away. How could I have been so lax in my own pursuit of what I claim to believe? I have had the desire to do so, but life gets in the way, and it keep being put on the back burner. This site has brought to light something I wish to rectify in my own life.
Now, here is where we split. I am in the elementary stages of study now. Doing research on the computer, reading historians work. And here is what shouts out at me. Please forgive what may be percieved as novice observation, remember, I am early in my pursuit. I feel, in both an atheist study, or Christian study what I find is men trying to pursuade others that their way is right. I have been researching the work of Eusebius, I have a great book by Paul L. Maier. In case it matters, He is no idiot. He is the russell H. Seibert Professor of Ancient history at Western Michigan U. He has a Ph.D summa cum Laude from the Un. of Basel, the first American to ever do so. I am enthralled at the work of Eusebius. He sites other historians of his time. Josephus, philo. My husband has their writings, and will get to them in the near future. what I have begun to realize is that we could go back and forth debatiing whose source is more qualified, smarter, whatever. You could accuse me of believing in men who lie to get their agenda across, yet I could do the same. I am I getting my thoughts across clear? I am not trying to belittle anyone, but if it comes across that way, forgive me, I am trying to be as sincere as my keyboard will let me I feel, truly when all is said and done, each person will need to make up their mind as to who they choose to believe. you will chose the authors you want, as will I. I have already conceited the fact I allowed myself to be ignorant in my faith on some levels. I have been so busy loving being a Christian I let the academia slide. No longer.
One last note, different subject. As my name implies, I did not chose the way of a Christian blindly. Some weird stuff has happened to me in the time I have been a Christian. I stopped questioning it after a while, but have been blown away by it to often to deny it. I have seen to much. Go ahead, call me whatever you want. But hear what I say, I never wanted to be a Christian. I hated God, and did everything I could to piss Him off. I had a tragic childhhood, and He was to blame. Everything I did was to make Him hate me as much as I did Him. You can believe me , well, I know you won't, thats fine. I have seen to much, and on that note, I will go. Have a great day, and yes, I will continue trolling.