"Original" Poem: The Honest Armory

tastybrain
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"Original" Poem: The Honest Armory

Those of you familiar with Christianity may know of this passage in Ephesians in which Paul uses the metaphor of armor for the equipment of the Christian. I thought it deserved a more honest, re-write. When I showed the result I came up with, my brother queried in which circle of hell Dante would place me. Whatever one it is I'm sure I'd be in good company whichever one it was.

I tried to stay as close to the original language as possible. I'm curious. Do you all find it a cogent re-write from an atheist perspective? I'm very interested in getting feedback, positive or constructively critical. Thanks!

Here is the original rendered in the "more poetic" KJV that so many fundies prefer:

Ephesians 6:10-17

6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God


My rendition:

The Honest Armory

Finally, my brethren, be weak in your mind and in the power of your reasoning.

Put on the whole armour of god, that ye may be able to withstand the wiles of the enlightened.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the literati, against thinkers, against the doubters of the darkness of this world, against scientific theories in high regard.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of god, that ye may be able to remain ignorant in the face of progress, and having proved nothing, to know.

Stand therefore, having your loins wrapped in pudicity, and having on the chinstrap of self-righteousness.

And your feet fettered with the reparation of original sin.

And above all, brandishing the buckler of bigotry wherewith ye shall be able to deflect the darts of debate.

And take the visor of dogma and the foil of faith, which is the ward of god.


Sapient
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Good job, I liked

Good job, I liked it!

 

tastybrain wrote:

When I showed the result I came up with, my brother queried in which circle of hell Dante would place me. Whatever one it is I'm sure I'd be in good company whichever one it was.

Here are some of the more notable people who will be in hell with you. 

- Brian Sapient


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Atheistextremist
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Nice one, tasty

 

You know where you're going, don't you?

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


Sapient
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Atheistextremist wrote: You

Atheistextremist wrote:

 

You know where you're going, don't you?

To the fridge?

- Brian Sapient


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Atheistextremist
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Actually, yes.

 

I think a beer is great idea at this point...

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


tastybrain
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Which Circle?

Actually, I can't remember which circle is reserved for atheists.... how close am I to the center?

 

 

Answer:

Sixth Circle (Heresy)

Heretics are trapped in flaming tombs, symbols of their doubting a life after death.[citation needed] Dante holds discourse with a pair of Florentines in one of the tombs: Farinata degli Uberti, a Ghibelline; and Cavalcante de' Cavalcanti, a Guelph who was the father of Dante's friend and fellow poet Guido Cavalcanti (Cantos X and XI). The followers of Epicurus are also located here (Canto X).

 

So pretty darn close to the center.... alright! Almost front-row seats!


Brian37
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Stupid doubters. How dare

Stupid doubters. How dare humanity value things like reason.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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