Why ISN'T Jesus Returning To Earth Soon?

Cory_The_Ration...
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Why ISN'T Jesus Returning To Earth Soon?

besides the obvious "He doesn't exist" muhahhhhahahaahhhahahahhah


crazymonkie
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Because amalgamated mythical

Because amalgamated mythical figures don't come back. It's very hard to come back when you never existed in the first place.

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...Oh, didn't you get the

...Oh, didn't you get the message?

 

He already dropped by, but he forgot the cheetos. Had to go back to pick them up.

 

You just missed him.

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Kevin R Brown wrote:...Oh,

Kevin R Brown wrote:

...Oh, didn't you get the message?

 

He already dropped by, but he forgot the cheetos. Had to go back to pick them up.

 

You just missed him.

Can you ring him up and tell him to bring Doritoes? Way better imo.

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    What,      do

    What,      do you think that this know all guy would want to come back to such a f<>ked up planet.

 

Signature ? How ?


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Didn't you guys get the

Didn't you guys get the memo?

 

He did come back in 1968. San Fransisco to be exact. Sadly for him, there were so many guys with really long hair, beards, simple clothing and spouting profound yet weird crap that nobody noticed yet another one.

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Cory_The_Rational_Dude

Cory_The_Rational_Dude wrote:

Why isn't Jesus Returning to Earth Soon?

besides the obvious "He doesn't exist" muhahhhhahahaahhhahahahhah

1)Since Yahweh the Father always changes his mind he hasn't made up his mind.

2)Would you come back here if you were tortured and executed on your last trip?

3)He lost the space time coordinates.

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When I was catholic I ate

When I was catholic I ate him as a Jeezit.


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I am truly glad that my dad

I am truly glad that my dad rejected his family's Catholicism way before I was born.

I've never been to a Eucharist serivce, but I did go to a pre-funeral Catholic Mass for my grandmother way back in '90 or so. I was the second-youngest pall bearer (my brother was younger, by 3 years); we were the grandsons, that was our 'qualification' for being pall bearers. Go figure.

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Ken G.

Ken G. wrote:

    What,      do you think that this know all guy would want to come back to such a f<>ked up planet.

 

Criminal returning to the scene of the crime?

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Too many crosses

Too many crosses around.

After the last time, those things give him the willies.


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TheHermit wrote:Too many

TheHermit wrote:

Too many crosses around.

After the last time, those things give him the willies.

Yeah he still has the scars.

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


crazymonkie
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Including the whips from the

Including the whips from the Roman-style cat-o-nine tails? (BTW- that's not the cat-o-nine tails most people think of- that type is a more recent invention... no, the type Jesus would have been beaten with would have been more like a trident with bits of metal at the the end sharp enough to cut glass, and they were called flagra [singular flagrum.])

Here: http://naturesdesignsonline.com/Cat-of-nine-tails.htm

Yet more proof (indirect, I will grant that) that the Gospel accounts are bunk. Though the irony, of course, is that the guy who did this is more than a bit of religious nut job. Read as much as you can; it's entertaining. And informative (when it comes to the scourges, anyway.)

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Kevin R Brown wrote:...Oh,

Kevin R Brown wrote:

...Oh, didn't you get the message?

 

He already dropped by, but he forgot the cheetos. Had to go back to pick them up.

 

You just missed him.

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I grounded him. After that

I grounded him. After that least massacre in his name I told him "No rapture for you!"


willman (not verified)
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When you die and go to hell,

When you die and go to hell, your eyes will be opened. I accept and will read all email sent to me


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 And if you die and

 

willman wrote:

When you die and go to hell, your eyes will be opened. I accept and will read all email sent to me

And if you die and don’t get to Valhalla you will realize that Christianity is nonsense made up. You will be sorry that you didn’t pillage in the name of Odin.    PS I’m a atheist if you didn’t realize this.

 

Warning I’m not a native English speaker.

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willman wrote:When you die

willman wrote:

When you die and go to hell, your eyes will be opened. I accept and will read all email sent to me

When you die and cease to exist, it will be far too late to start accepting reality. On the other hand, if we wake up in hell, it will be painfully obvious that there is a god, and we'll adjust our positions accordingly.

Either way, you're fucked. Either way, we win.

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Ken G.

Ken G. wrote:

    What,      do you think that this know all guy would want to come back to such a f<>ked up planet.

 

God himself must have a very frustrated parent because he never seems to want to clean up his own mess.

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