My parents have never lied to me ever. At christmas they would tell stories about Santa and elves, and we would watch the traditional Danish "Julekalender" (literaly: Christmas calendar, it is a TV-show that has 24 episodes, one each day from the 1st to the 24th of December). These show change from year to year, only the format and the audience (it's for kids) stay the same, but the stories are almost always involve Santa and elves.

Never at any point in my childhood did my parents try to convince me that there was any truth to the story, so to me it was as clearly made-up as the fairy-tales of H.C.Andersen or the brothers Grimm.

And so what? Was it any less magical for it? Of course not! Kids are not stupid, so don't try to deceive them, they deserve better, and don't condesend to their inteligence and imagination by thinking they can't appriciate fairytales unless they believe they are real. I've loved everything make-believed for as long as I can remember, and I've been a rationalist and materialist for as long as I can remember.

Never make the mistake of believing that kids must believe the fantasy to be reality to appriciate it. Its insulting their inteligence and imagination, not to mention harmful for a child's psychological developement to try and decieve them. When they inevitably one day realize Santa not being real, they will distrust their parents more for it, helping to create general trust-issues later in life.

I just heard in a talk from Beyond Belief 3 that trust is one of the most important prerequisites for happiness, so it's not something you should mess about with.

Long time listener, first time caller.

I was raised with Santa Claus and I distinctly recall figuring it out for myself. That was a huge moment for me, when I started thinking for myself and stopped accepting what I was told was automatically the truth, even when it came from my parents [GASP!] It's not that I didn't trust my parents anymore, they still looked out for me and did the best they could for me. And I wasn't upset that I got extra presents, I still get stuff from "Santa" to this day. The realization that Santa wasn't real had almost no affect on the relationship between my parents and myself. Sure, it took me a bit longer to figure out why they pretended Santa was real, but it was obvious from the start that there was no malice involved.

Now that I have offspring on the way, I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, and I think I will continue the tradition. I don't think young children can separate fantasy and reality as much as we might think. Unless you're going to shelter them completely from Santa in popular culture or remind them that Santa isn't real everytime they see him on TV and in the Mall, I think it's fine to go ahead and play along. And (hopefully) when they get a little older and start flexing those critical thinking muscles, they will figure it out for themselves.

I don't have a problem letting them think that Santa is real, reindeer can fly, and all the other things kids believe in. That's part of being a kid. But if he hasn't figured out that Reindeer can't fly by the time he goes to college, then I'll know that I really screwed up somewhere and might have to break the bad news to him.

Lying to your kid just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.  There are other ways to impart ideas revolving around wonder, imagination, and the mystery of the unknown. 

 I disagree with teaching children that Santa is real.  I know several parents who teach their children that Santa is like a fairy tale, and people pretend that he's real because it's fun to do at Christmas, and their kids seem to have a fine time.

It seems to me that the potential damage is far greater than the reward.  I would think long and hard about who the Santa story is supposed to benefit.  It's my observation that parents often enjoy it more than their kids, who would be perfectly happy with any old story -- including the truth.  I mean, hell.  They get lots of presents.  They don't need Santa for that to be fun.

I was thinking mostly of nature walks and Harry Potter when I wrote this.  I have a young child who I take on walks.  We don't exactly get into deep philosophical discussions yet, but I can get him thinking about things like why we like trees, think ducks are neat, or want to play in the mud with bacteria and worms. 

Stories like Harry Potter are fun and imaginative.  I've been reading him world myths, which he likes too.  It's good to get him thinking about why people made up these stories and not about just the plot of today's tale.  He's not very interested in science, but I will cover some of the basics of the physics and chemistry of the origin of the universe when he gets older.

I grew up being told Santa was a myth rooted in pagan legend.  Based on my experience, I think kids believe in Santa because they get told again and again that he is real.  As soon as a kid has their parents confirm that Santa is just a story, the belief vanishes quickly.

I think it very much depends on the kid.  Some do fine with realizing their parents tricked them, some do not.  Why would you gamble with your child's trust on something that really has no possible great gain? 

My kid does not believe in Santa.  He loves Polar Express, but realizes it is a story just like all his other movies.  It's not been an issue.  I have made sure to take the time to explain why other kids believe in Santa and what their well-intentioned parents are trying to do with getting their kids to believe.  He seems to understand the basics pretty well.

My main job as a parent is to get him to understand who he is and how he fits into the world around him.  I lose a lot of credibility in getting him to understand what the world is if I distort the facts in any way.  It may be fun to do so in the short-term, but does harm for the long-term.

I remeber growing up and getting presents from santa on x-mas morning. I also remeber my parents never telling me that santa existed or he didnt exist. But i know that when i came to the realization that he didnt exist i didnt think my parents lied to me or anything like that. they let me choose and make up my mind for myself. 

I dont think parents should go either way, unless the children confront them, then they should tell the truth.

...Oh, and just by the by:

Thank you.

Most people don't bother with the 'hassle' of having this discussion with their spouse before the kids get made, and that creates a much stickier situation. As someone who will likely be enduring the machinations of the next generation to be raised, I really do appreciate when people take the time to lay down the dos and donts rather than just flying by the seat of their pants and breeding bitterness.

Badbark, I like your attitude of compromise.  It seems fair and is similar to the set-up we have in my house.  I also go a little overboard w/ the Halloween decorations as a bit of an offset.  Some of them are just going to stay up year-round too.  Jack is good for any day of the year!   

Thor, thanks.  And, yes, your assumption is correct.  He knows the gifts are from family.  He is still just as excited and thrilled as any kid who thinks they come from Santa. 

KB, most people would rather get laid than find out they have a deal breaker issue on their hands.  

Ok, that's too cynical.  The reality of it is that the desire to get laid combined with the desire to not be lonely makes for a very strong deterrent to rational conversation.  Realize that many conceptions occur while both parents' brains are still addled by the chemical coctail of infatuation, which is specifically designed to suppress logical ability.  Combine this with the fact that when people really believe that they've found "the one" and that this time, everything will be great, it is really easy to forget to ask the hard questions.

I'm not making excuses for people, but I think it's worth understanding that part of the truth of human nature is that it works really effectively, and it's designed to make people make babies -- not to have the most harmonious loving relationships possible.  Overcoming two of the strongest human drives simultaneously is very hard, and it's made harder by the fact that most people don't even understand what's happening to their brains while it's going on.

Oh, and to the OP, I'm just making generalizations for KB's sake here.  I'm not trying to say anything about your particular situation.  Don't read anything as directed at you, ok?

Oh, and if I was emperor of the universe, I would make it a law that you have to be engaged for at least five years before getting marrried if you're under 32.  I'd also provide free birth control to everybody.  Five years is usually long enough to get around to asking the really hard questions.  By then, you usually realize that everybody has stinky shit and bad breath in the morning.