The other Cameron

MattShizzle
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The other Cameron

Does anyone know if Kirk Cameron's sister Candace is a deluded Christard like him? She was a child actress and I had such a crush on her back in the day (note: she's maybe a year younger than me, if that.) Wouldn't it be cool to say an icon of those asshats nailed an atheist?

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Renee Obsidianwords
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Sorry to burst your

Sorry to burst your bubble:  http://www.christianwomenonline.net/candidcandace.html

She is a full-blown god loving, christ following christian woman

 

Slowly building a blog at ~

http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/


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Fuck. What a waste. And a

Fuck. What a waste. And a hockey player puts up with that? Carla is the one for me so it's not like I'm looking, but hey. Right age, too. I wouldn't personally date a woman under 30.

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Too bad indeed. Could be an

Too bad indeed. Could be an interesting thing to research though. If two  children are brought up theist, is it more likely they will both stay theist or that one will not remain theist?

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


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The link Obsidian pointed to

The link Obsidian pointed to is funny.  There is a Q & A section where you can ask Candace your questions!  YAH!!  Let's see where Candace steers us in question 1...

 

 

She is a speaker for various churches, colleges and outreach events, as well as a monthly columnist here at Christian Women Online Magazine, with her monthly column, "Candid Candace: The Q's & A's on Growing with God."

Candace, I was wondering if there is a right way and a wrong way to pray. Sometimes I pray, and it seems that things get worse. How do you pray?

 

______________________________________

Nope--there's no wrong way to pray. God's thrilled that you're spending time with Him. You can't mess that up!

Praying is talking to God, asking Him for wisdom, guidance and requests. The problem we often face is that when God doesn't answer the way we want Him to, we think it's not working. It may even seem to be getting worse, as you mentioned. It's worse in your eyes, but not God's. He may have other plans for you and is shaping the events in a way for you to get there.

 

Matthew 6 (New International Version)

Prayer

 

5

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

6

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

7

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

8

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 9 "This, then, is how you should pray:
   " 'Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name,
 10 your kingdom come,
   your will be done
      on earth as it is in heaven.
 11 Give us today our daily bread.
 12 Forgive us our debts,
      as we also have forgiven our debtors.
 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.[a]' 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

 

 

 

 

 


As for how she was raised...

 

From her testimony:

"When I was growing up, my family wasn’t Christian. We didn’t talk about God and I didn’t know anything about him. When I was twelve years old, my parents told us we were going to church; a friend had invited us. It was strange to me, and I giggled at the thought of God. But as we continued to go every Sunday, my heart felt warm, and I saw how happy my mom, brother and sister were. I decided that I wanted to feel the same way. It was Jesus Christ that was producing this change in them, so one Sunday morning, I asked Jesus into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior. I was baptized along with some of my family at a later service. I was extremely excited about what I thought was my new Christian life. "

http://www.candacecameronbure.net/testimony.php

 

 

 

 

 

- Brian Sapient


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Loc
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Sapient wrote:As for how she

Sapient wrote:


As for how she was raised...

 

From her testimony:

"When I was growing up, my family wasn’t Christian. We didn’t talk about God and I didn’t know anything about him. When I was twelve years old, my parents told us we were going to church; a friend had invited us. It was strange to me, and I giggled at the thought of God. But as we continued to go every Sunday, my heart felt warm, and I saw how happy my mom, brother and sister were. I decided that I wanted to feel the same way. It was Jesus Christ that was producing this change in them, so one Sunday morning, I asked Jesus into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior. I was baptized along with some of my family at a later service. I was extremely excited about what I thought was my new Christian life. "

http://www.candacecameronbure.net/testimony.php

 

 

Seriously, that's the most fake sounding piece of christian testimony(lies) I've ever read. Her heart felt warm and happy? Sounds more like drugs. Call me cynical, but c'mon. What a perfectly heart warming and sweet story.So convenient.

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


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Loc wrote:Sapient wrote:As

Loc wrote:

Sapient wrote:


As for how she was raised...

 

From her testimony:

"When I was growing up, my family wasn’t Christian. We didn’t talk about God and I didn’t know anything about him. When I was twelve years old, my parents told us we were going to church; a friend had invited us. It was strange to me, and I giggled at the thought of God. But as we continued to go every Sunday, my heart felt warm, and I saw how happy my mom, brother and sister were. I decided that I wanted to feel the same way. It was Jesus Christ that was producing this change in them, so one Sunday morning, I asked Jesus into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior. I was baptized along with some of my family at a later service. I was extremely excited about what I thought was my new Christian life. "

http://www.candacecameronbure.net/testimony.php

 

 

Seriously, that's the most fake sounding piece of christian testimony(lies) I've ever read. Her heart felt warm and happy? Sounds more like drugs. Call me cynical, but c'mon. What a perfectly heart warming and sweet story.So convenient.

 

i believe it, because nobody would make up something that fucking boring.  it sounds like she's trying so hard to make something inspiring out of the typical "i started going to church and grew into it" situation.

 

let's see what reverend charles thinks:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbneI7FhBpM

 

thank you, reverend.  so true, so true.  ju'li'isrigh'hyuh.

"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen


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I'd still hit it. Maybe if

I'd still hit it. Maybe if she was drunk or something? Imagine hearing the next morning she fucked an atheist! And I can see Kirk finding out and running to Ray Comfort crying like a bitch. "Sorry Kirk, your sister's going to hell. She not only committed adultery but with an atheist." "But I thought you said atheists don't exist?" "shut up Kirk or you'll go to hell too!" "Yes sir."

 

** Note: picture that last exchange in their voices with Kirk Cameron blubbering and it's funny as hell!

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Then Ray, still unsure after

Then Ray, still unsure after all these years how to deal with real-life situations, begins to lead Kirk to the Lord again.

Ray:  "Kuk, 'ave you eeva loid?"

Kirk:  (rolls eyes) "Yes Ray..."

Ray:  "'Ave you eeva stolen anythin?"

Kirk:  "Well, it's been a while, but yeah..."

Ray:  "'Ave you eeva look't upon a woman loostfully?  Now Kuk, I already know th' answa ta thees one!  You've practically got your own dutty daazen back t' the ol' homestead!"

Kirk:  "Well, of course Ray, but that was back in my Growing Pains years..."

Ray:  "'Ave you eeva taken the Lod's name in vain?"

Kirk:  "Goddamn it Ray, not now..."

Ray:  "So you're a lyin', theivin', blasphemous adulterer by your own admission.  Let me ask you, Kuk.  If you were to die today, would God be joostfied in sending you to 'ell? 

Kirk:  (pulls revolver from front of trousers, spins the cylinder despite the fact that all 6 chambers are loaded, places revolver in mouth, pulls trigger halfway, then notices Matt walking down the sidewalk arm-in-arm with Candace) "What the...why...who is...Candace...?"

Matt:  "You're an asshat dude, and your god sucks cock in hell!"

Ray:  "Matt, 'ave you eeva loid?"

Matt:  (turning and walking away) "Fuck you, Ray!  Your god is dead.  I killed him with my dick!"

Ray:  (frantically following Matt) "Matt!  'Ave you eeva stolen anything?"

Matt:  (stops, grins slyly, snatches Kirk's revolver) "Well, as fate would have it, yes I have stolen something, Ray.  I just stole Kirk's gat, and I'm going to use it to blow your skull all over the sidewalk!"

Ray:  (revolver in mouth) "Mwatt, hwave ywou evwer twakwen thwe Lwords nwame iwn vwein?"

Matt:  (turns revolver on self) "Goddamn it!" (pulls trigger, gun jams)

Matt falls to his knees trembling, drops the gun, falls on his face and begins to weep uncontrollably.  Ray and Kirk console him for a few minutes, then take him down the Romans road to salvation.  Matt starts a local affiliate of The Way of the Master in his hometown, and pastors a small, simple country church for the remainder of his days. 

 


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 justin, you made ol' ray

 

justin,

 

you made ol' ray a little too paul hoganish.


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Realistically a gun jamming

Realistically a gun jamming and a Ray Comfort bullshit argument wouldn't convince me of anything - especially since I doubt Kirk Cameron knows much about guns enough to pick a decent one. And of course if I was banging Candace Cameron it would convince me even more the Christian god was false - though maybe a more benevolent one, like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, was real - Imagine me converting Candace & Kirk Cameron, and even Ray Comfort to Pastafarianism!

 

"''Ave you ever eaten Spaghetti with no sauce?" "'ave you evah been a sanctimonious prick condemning othahs because they weren't Christian? Then you 'ave offended the flahin' spaghetti mahnstah and ah in danguh of going to antarcticah instead of heaven. Don't you want the beer vahlcanoe and strippah factahry?"

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jmm
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*alternate ending*Matt pulls

.


MattShizzle
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Now that one was better. I

Now that one was better. I did see on her site she links to the Word of the Asstard and Ray COmforts stupid "are you a good person" test. I contacted her with this:

Don't those of you at WOTM understand that atheists consider the Bible utter nonsense? Most of you should have understood it a bit more when Ray Comfort and your brother were totally pwned by the Rational Response Squad.

 

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Hey, even if I can't

Hey, even if I can't convince her to join "the dark side" maybe she'll decide I need to be punished and bend me over her knee, spank me hard and then fuck the shit out of me. It could happen.

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No waste

MattShizzle wrote:

Fuck. What a waste. And a hockey player puts up with that? Carla is the one for me so it's not like I'm looking, but hey. Right age, too. I wouldn't personally date a woman under 30.

I don't date under 30's eather, because of the AIDS scare and other STD's I gave up dating and one-night-stands years ago, it was the wife's idea. Something about the wedding vows.

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Ray: Josh, have you ever

Ray: Josh, have you ever told a lie?

Josh: Ray, have you ever told the truth?

Ray: Have you ever stolen?

Josh: Have you ever given without motive?

Ray: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?

Josh: Which lord? Whose lord?

Ray: Well, Josh, you're a lying, stealing blasphemer and you're going to go to hell if you don't change your ways.

Josh: Well, Ray, you're a lying, conniving preacher and when you get sick we're going to withhold the cure for whatever disease wracks your body so you can see your lord quicker.

Ray: Don't you want to live forever in peace.

Josh: I'd prefer living a short while without jesus freaks.

Todd: Why do you hate jesus?

Josh: Todd, have you ever told a lie?

Kirk: (goof-ass growing pains smile) Hayuck Hayuck. Wanna see my crocoduck?

Ray and Todd: Not NOW, Kirk!

 

Just then a shaved muslim walks in and presses a detonator. Nothing happens. A few seconds pass and the muslim slaps his forehead.

Muslim: Shit. I forgot the bomb at the mosque. It is your fault, infidels!!!

(Josh exits room stage left.)

Ray: Mr. Muslim, have you ever told a lie?

Muslim: Why no, I haven't.

Ray: Have you ever stolen?

Muslim: Why no, of course not.

Ray: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?

Muslim: Never. I praise allah with every action and sentence.

Ray: No. I mean god.

Muslim: You mean Allah and Muhammed is his prophet.

Ray, Todd, and Kirk(in unison): But Jesus is god's son.

Muslim: You idiots. Allah never took a wife, not even in mu'tah. Allah has no son.

Ray: Yes he did. The jews and Romans killed him.

Muslim: Fucking jews! I hate jews, but they cannot have killed Allah's son because Allah never had a son. I do not hate the jews for this. It is a lie. You are all three liars and Allah declares that you must die.

Ray, Todd, and Kirk: But wait!!! We're saved! We asked for forgiveness!

Muslim: Just because you have asked does not mean it is granted, dumbasses.

 

With that, the muslim pulls out his 40 yr. old AK-47 and shoots all three of them.

Muslim: Now where did that atheist infidel go?

 

 

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Yeah Darth, love the

   Yeah Darth,  love the punch line    

 ..... anyway, FYI , Christians Girls can be quite delicious ! .... a very Jewish idea too ! Cage them, was the idea,  ......  but no no I say ..... set them free ..... a better idea .....  more for me ..... and you .... Science to the rescue ..... so that we may fuck everything in sight, kindly that is  ! 

Less reason for guilt would be nice .... is all I AM saying ..... more sharing , less desperation of torrid acts ..... too many to fuck is the better answer .... no more need to rape .....

I know this all gets complicated , but just saying , get free-er , go science.