Faith based weight loss

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Faith based weight loss

This is just ridiculous:

What Would Jesus Weigh?

By Molly McCallWed, August 01, 2007, 6:00 am PDT< Previous | Next >

You've heard of faith-based initiatives. Now, perk up your ears and put down your fork. Faith-based weight loss is drawing converts in Buzz.

The Weigh Down Workshop looks to the lessons of the Bible to reduce waistlines and trim thighs. The program, which was designed by nutritionist Gwen Shamblin, has been around for years, but it recently found a praise-worthy (and media-friendly) parable in Maggie and Andy Sorrells. The Tennessee couple once jointly tipped the scale at nearly 1,000 pounds. They've lost more than half that heavy load by following the Weigh Down way.

Since news agencies picked up the Sorrells' success story, buzz for the Good Book-inspired diet, program, and workshop has surged. The Weigh Down regime doesn't yet have the mainstream caché of Weight Watchers or Atkins, but it draws the same demographic interest: Middle-aged women account for the majority of searches and the South logs the most fervent interest.

In this case, the Sorrells' home state of Tennessee tops the list of areas searching for fat-shedding salvation. Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi follow closely behind. In a land of milk and honey-fried temptation, it takes a lot of faith to resist seconds.

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Well, if you spend at least

Well, if you spend at least 8 hours praying, you can lose some weight. That's 8 hours you don't spend eating.


Unless of course you pray with a hamburger in one hand and a milkshake on the other.


This is great, really. Now we need faith-based plastic surgery. Some woman prays for bigger cheekbones, and voila, she gets them.


But that's vanity. Christians don't like vanity. It seems they like coming to this world looking like shit and dying looking like shit. Well, there isn't much we can do about it, but we can fix it a little when we are young.



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Other than the wonderful

Other than the wonderful and delightful effect of placebo, the act of praying long hours can be seen as a kind of mild exercise.


Well, I suggest kneeling in front of the tv watching Sex and The City 8 Hours Straight, or something like that.  As long as you can hold off those snacks and drinks you would get the same result, and its much moar entertaining.