If you were God in Job story
Posted on: February 27, 2008 - 12:59pm
Offline
If you were God in Job story
Wasn't God in the Job story a true asshat? If the story were true and I was God I'd have told Satan : "NO, Motherfucker! Job's been my homey since he was born! I ain't going to dis him like that just because you say so! You're my mofo enemy and he's been with me all the time! Go the fuck away beyotch and quit trying to put shit between me and my boys! Guess I'm better than the Biblical god.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
- Login to post comments
Aren't we all?
Even the Christians are better than their deity. They just don't want to admit it.
What a guy, that Yahweh. The representative of evil he created makes the slightest affront and he has to set up the bet with humans as the pawns.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
I'd love to see where this story came from originally, too, since the source is probably polytheistic. Considering the satan character (who seems simply to be the identifier of sins, and not the punisher thereof) is clearly working for The Lord, then The Lord is really just showing off.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
God seems to be a low self esteemed 5 year old.
Also, I love it how God and Satan can sit down with a cup of coffee and just talk, I mean, the entire battle between heaven and hell is only due when Jesus returns so they're cool.
If satan rebelled against god, why would he (it) do what god wanted him to do? I would've told god to go fuck himself (itself). That is the satan I know LOL. If my memory serves me right didn't god make the wager?
"Always seek out the truth, but avoid at all costs those that claim to have found it" ANONYMOUS
Thought some of you might be interested in this discussion: Was Job's Author an Atheist?
One story that always got me is the one about Abraham and Issac. I first heard this one in High School when we were learning about allusions. Needless to say, I did not get the lesson, moral, or point of this story "correct". I think I offended quite a number of people giving them my own thoughts on the matter to boot.
I think it is quite interesting when the uninitiated, in regards to Christian dogma, first hear this one.
On www.losingmyreligion.com there is a essay about the devil regarding his role in Job. Isn't it funny that the devils this big rebel who loves to defy god, yet in the whole story he never disobeys god once.He follows everything he's told. The only one killing and being evil is god. Other than that, ya god's a asshat."Oh I'll just ruin some guys life to prove a point." And it is quite random that god and satan just sit down for a nice chat.Where's the hate?
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
I was told by a friend today that the whole "bet with satan" thing wasn't actually in the bible, which would make god's decision even more eccentric.
Can anyone confirm?
Well, the story of Jesus coming to the aid of the adulteress (John 8:1-32) isn't in some of the older manuscripts either. Some of the manuscripts even place it in a different part of John. This is a story that many christians quote as a true happening, yet in my own bible it states something other than the claim. The anotation at the bottom of an Amplified Bible, "These verses are not found in many of the older manuscripts and those that have it often place it elsewhere in John. In keeping with the character of Christ we chose to include it." I can't attest to the veracity of your claim, but it seems suspect. I wonder if Rook would know if this is true.
"Always seek out the truth, but avoid at all costs those that claim to have found it" ANONYMOUS
I would laugh than be throughly dissappointed. I would first laugh at Job for being an idiot. Then I would be dissappointed since I created this idiot. Then probably consider starting over from scratch since all this experiment proved was that my creations would eventually turn into idiots and that would I'm the idiot for letting this idiocy continue. Yes, I like using the word idiot.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Funny. The Biblical God seems to alternate between a spoiled toddler and a spoiled teenager. I suppose the Northern and Southern Hebrews had very different ideas about child rearing.
“It is true that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. It is equally true that in the land of the blind, the two-eyed man is an enemy of the state, the people, and domestic tranquility… and necessarily so. Someone has to rearrange the furniture.”
Perhaps not.
I would say I certainly am. I actually exist to start with, but just comparing myself to the description of the biblical god:
1. I would never torture anyone for doubting if I exist or disagreeing with me - let alone forever.
2. If there was doubt as to whether I existed, I would do my damdest to prove it, rather than expecting people to guess.
3. I have never killed anyone, as opposed to the billions killed by that asshat.
4. I use logic in arguments, as opposed to threats of violence.
5. If I am wronged I usually forgive unconditionally, rather than having someone torture a relative to death and expecting them to see that as a good thing.
Sure there's more, but isn't this enough?
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
If I were God I hope suicide would be an option for me. Seriously, having lived forever and experienced everything there is to experience, I think I would want to end my existence before I go batshit-insane from boredom.
One of my friends, who does believe in God, said this is pretty much how he pictured God. Sort of like Q from Star Trek TNG. Bored and insecure.
“It is true that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. It is equally true that in the land of the blind, the two-eyed man is an enemy of the state, the people, and domestic tranquility… and necessarily so. Someone has to rearrange the furniture.”
No man, don't kill yourself yet! First create a diversion, say, a universe with conscious beings you can screw around with. Maybe dicking around with some so-called revel, betting about how long can you fuck a good guy who believes in you before he starts using his brains for himself.
Oh, and if your creation gets full of itself and starts making a tower so high it can actually go about ringing your doorbell, then just mess with their heads so nobody undestands each other and therefore start killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Lenore, The Cute Little Dead Girl. Twice as good as Jesus.
You're right. If I were god I'd wait for some smart-ass philosopher to pronounce me dead, then show up in a puff of smoke and off myself out of boredom!
Fortunately, I'm a human being, so I see a reason to live.
“It is true that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. It is equally true that in the land of the blind, the two-eyed man is an enemy of the state, the people, and domestic tranquility… and necessarily so. Someone has to rearrange the furniture.”
I could swear I've read that story before somewhere..hay don't forget to then let those beings you created kill you in your physical form to save themselves from your wrath!
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.