I had never thought of it in the way that it was presented last night, and I must say, when I heard this man speak of this issue in this way, it made me step back a moment, think, and then smile. I wanted to run to him, and kiss him, thank him so much for pushing my views, my reality, my perspective in a way it hasn't been for a long time.

I was becoming sedentary, my thoughts lagging, nothing really left for me to expand and try to understand, so last night was like a holy gift.

Richard Dawkins was the man, and what he said that shook me so deeply was (and this is generalized) that he thinks that believing in a deity undermines human intelligence, and the beauty of our lives here and now. Basically, he said, it undermines our own humanity, intelligence, rationality and whatever else to put credit to how everything is currently to a figment of our imaginations.

I will be honest with you, dear reader, at this point. Atheism is something I've struggled with for a while now. While I realize that I "am" atheist is so many respects, I cannot abide labels, tags, ready made molds I am suppose to fit into, so I have always shied away from calling myself that. When people find out just what my beliefs, or lack thereof are, they usually exclaim "so your an atheist". I usually shrug and say "if that's what you see me as." However, the more I read, the more I look into things, the more I question, challenge, find my own intellectual footing, I think that might be the label that fits me best.

I still don't like it. For some reason I don't mind calling myself "free thinker" though a lot of people see the two as the exact same thing.

I have always had a fundamental problem with "Sky Daddy". I have never liked how people put on their Sunday pious faces, and preach and agree with the lessons on being a giver, not a taker, then Monday they run out and buy the newest, greatest snow mobile out there, go on a vacation to the Bahama's and sip on their non alcoholic margaritas. I have never liked how people tend to use religion as an excuse to do whatever they want. I cannot stand the fact that the man they are teaching, and preaching about was the perfect example of "selflessness" to so many people, and yet there is a "he's MY Jesus, you can't have him" attitude.

It seems sick to me that people hear this story which is beautiful and disgusting in the same breath, and twist it to their own means.

Ah, welcome to Earth, where humanity has the incredible talent to fuck up pretty much everything.

The idea of Jesus has always bothered me too. I know that is really weird, but it has. There are so many people who aren't even christian, or religious in any way shape or form, who worship this guy who's completely unprovable just as much as the Christians do. They don't call him Jesus though, and they don't worship the man. They worship the 'Christ Spirit' instead. What the hell is that?

Another form of bullshit on a stick.

Jesus Christ, if nothing else, if he did or didn't exist accomplished one thing: he was the birth of celebrity, as Marilyn Manson put so beautifully. "Most people in America worship a half naked dead guy on a stick." Anyone else see the perverse reality of this statement?

I don't know who Jesus was, or even if the man existed, personally I don't really care. If he did exist and you look at the historical reality of the time, Jesus was nothing more than a political figure, and worshiping him, revering him as some God fallen from heaven itself is like worshiping Dick Cheney for his political prowess, and the uncanny, unfathomable ability to shoot people in the head and not get punished.

"Our father, who art in heaven, please bless me on this day.... I say these things, in the name of Dick Cheney... amen."

Furthermore, I've had a problem with the "Christ Spirit" term. So, what we're saying is A) that there really IS a spirit, and B) that Christ's spirit is far different, far more superior than mine, yours or anyone else, when Christ himself (or the man who wrote his lines) said that there is nothing he can do that we cannot do better and ye are all Gods. Still, STILL these people who aren't Christians yet are at the same time are putting this man who may or may not have existed on some fantastic pedestal, and then backing it with logic that is just as faulty as Pat Robertson's when he proclaims loudly that 9-11 happened because of homosexuals and feminists.

I don't understand that. I really don't morally, logically, intellectually understand the complete fascination we have with believing in, worshiping, following, backing and whatever other term you want to throw in there, the completely unprovable. And then you see these people and they smile, hold their heads up high and have this air of "well, at least I'm smart enough to believe this..."

Having faith in anything doesn't prove intelligence, it just shows how cheaply you can be bought.

So, I am deeply sorry (even though I'm really not) but I refuse to play the "my god is better than yours" game, and the "I want to be like Jesus" game, or the "If you do this and this, you feel this way... and that IS the way you want to feel..." game. I refuse to believe in the unprovable, or sell my logic, intelligence, or human creativity to a death-icon.

And I refuse to pat someone on the back with false pride when I see them sell out for such a cheap price, to something they probably don't understand any better than their dog Fido.

--Sarah--

Food for Thought:

Most sermons sound to me like commercials- but I can't tell whether God is the Sponsor or the Product. --Mignon McLaughlin

Published originally on www.myspace.com/delphicraven