Slow deaths

digitalbeachbum's picture

My view is that we are all slowly dying but some of us suffer more from physical aliments than others. Take my dad for example, he is 86 and dying from Parkinson's and dementia. We've known about it for several years and he has been taking meds and seeing doctors for it. We all knew it when we saw the twitch in his wrist roughly five years ago. He also started to shuffle his feet rather than walk. His memory started to slip. He was getting angry because he would forget things that were simple. Then one day he went to my mom and said for her to take away the keys. He said he forgot where he lived and couldn't find home.

The memory is an interesting function of our bodies. We forget things all the time but when we are young we ignore it. We blow it off and we laugh about it. When we get older it happens more often. We forget things we shouldn't forget and it becomes a disability to our lives. Then it is magnified with other diseases like Parkinson's or MS. All neurological problems the elderly have on a regular basis.

Tonight I went to visit him but he didn't want me there. I had told him would come watch the Cubs and Dodgers play but he wanted nothing to do with it. He just wanted to be left alone in the dark with the AC on and the covers over his head. He was ready for the end. He told me he wanted to go home.

Don't misunderstand me. When I say he told me he wanted to go home it was like talking to a stupefied drunk 5 year old. Broken sentences. Single words.  Opposite words. Stuttering words. Words that were meaningless to every one else except those who knew him best and were patient to wait for him to get out the words he meant.

As I look in to his eyes I see his is still there, confused at times, but a functioning brain which knew me and just couldn't get the words out. A loss of the date but knew the entire family and that he didn't want to die in a home filled with forgotten entities.

I dislike "old folk homes". They sicken me. People shoved in holes left to suffer their final days. People left to rot. And the one my father is in is 1 of 5 we had him in and all of them sucked. One which he stayed for 24 hours and we pulled him out because they completely ignored him and didn't feed him all day. Another which ignored him when he fell out of bed. Another which left him in a room strapped to a wheel chair with the wheels locked.

It is a completely fucked up society where we leave these people to rot. People who fought for this country and the freedom we now take for granted. People who were teachers. People who were doctors. People who were explorers. The stories they hold all lost to the time of old age.

My dad had plenty of them. One which I'll tell you now because I find it so interesting.

About 15 years ago my father got a call from a guy who was writing a book on Elvis. Apparently the guy went through the trouble of retracing every step he could of Elvis's life.

One of those steps included a lay over in Newfoundland where my father was stationed while in the military. I think he was in the Air Force at the time, working at an air field. Elvis had stopped there before going on to Europe and he stayed at this tiny air strip waiting for the pilots to rest up.

While Elvis waited the military escorted him in to a building where the reporters couldn't bug him. It ended up being the graveyard shift and my father was always liking that shift because no one would bug him. He'd work late and not have to deal with officers or higher ranking people giving him shit.

He lucked out because while he was there Elvis sat with him for about 8-9 hours talking. No kidding. My dad sat with Elvis Presley for the entire time by himself and they sat around drinking coffee and shooting the shit.

So tonight my dad told me to leave but before I left he told me he wanted to go home. Nothing else. Just wanted to go home.

I knew what was going through his mind. He was ready to die and wanted to die at home.

It is going to be tough. His body might not give up yet even if we took the feeding tube out. What a long painful death.

Why the fuck isn't doctor assisted legal in every state? Because christians are fucking morons. You silly fucking idiots. Suicide is not a bad word. It isn't evil. It isn't wrong. Instead you want to give people morphine and have them waste away in a bad while others have to stand watch over them.

When my day comes, I've already told my family, I'm moving to a place where I can go peacefully and on my terms. I will not rot away in pain and suffering.

It should be legal.


Vastet's picture

I've long thought assisted

I've long thought assisted suicide should be legal. Forcing people to suffer so they can suffer longer is as close to pure evil as you can get.

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.

digitalbeachbum's picture

Vastet wrote:I've long

Vastet wrote:
I've long thought assisted suicide should be legal. Forcing people to suffer so they can suffer longer is as close to pure evil as you can get.

I'm dismayed every time I hear some say that it is humane to put down your dog so they don't suffer and in the same breath say it is wrong to allow a human to continue on suffering.