I am the Rational Response Squad

What am I? I am the Rational Response Squad. I think like every Rational Responder, because I utilize, well, rational thought. Just like every Rational Responder, I have chosen to reject the backwards, superstitious ideas which are irrational. As with every other Rational Responder, I have rejected the common values of Christianity, and have embraced a new way of thinking. This rejection to which we have committed ourselves to embodies a thought that, more or less, follows the rational skepticism in the bible. For this reason, I have included a synopsis of the bible, in my own words, but in our own thoughts. (Let it be known that the most irrational points in the synopsis below have been numbered to let theists ponder on these irrationalities.)

Okay, so first, there was this dude whose name was "God," and this dude had been living for a really long time; like forever. So one day, "God" gets bored and decides to create a place called Earth in another place that "existed in eternity (1)." So he creates this Earth place, see, and only in like 7 days (2). So then he decides he's bored again, and makes all the different creatures of the earth, but, he creates one in his exact image and calls this creature a "human" and puts the ONLY two of these creatures in his special growing patch, which is somewhere near present day Baghdad, Iraq (3|4|5). But these two dirty humans disobey his instructions not to touch his bush, and bans them to live outside of the garden to live on there own, forcing their many children to procreate with each other to further the species (6). So the many children have lots of descendants who fill the Earth with other people, but the evil Egyptians enslave the Jewish (7) and God frowns, so he sends some new dude who then sees bushes burn but don't get destroyed to do things to the naughty pharaoh, which end up with this dude turning the red sea into a splash of vertical water and crosses with the other Jews while the pharaoh drowns ( 8 ). Then after only 40 years of only living on "mana," these finally reach Jerusalem (9). Then god does not like what he sees, so he impregnates a girl without her knowledge, and tells her to name it "Jesus"(11). This fella named "Jesus" then goes around making people worship him and wanders into the dessert where the devil tries to coax him into eating something (12).
Then "Jesus" is betrayed, and is hung, but through some strange stuff, resurrects himself, gets out of a burial tomb, and "chats" with the people that knew him (13|14). Then people write books about him, a cult gathers round him and things get hazy from there (this past sentence actually happened). So here we are, present day. Make sense?

Like it or not, the RRS is growing, meaning the United States of America CANNOT be just a Christian nation. I am every Rational Responder. I think and act like every Rational Responder. We all have chosen to use a more rational approach to life, and rejected any preaching that does not make sense. These skepticisms are why we have chosen not to relish in the ignorance of religion. These skepticisms unite us. In unity, we fight every battle as one, network as one, and grow as one. We embody the same message, and for this, I am the Rational Response Squad.

Good job man. I reposted it

Good job man. I reposted it here for contest consideration.