Dr. Laura... Irrational

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well
as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind
them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from
you, however, regarding some of the other specific
laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know
it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The
problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not
pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness -
Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have
tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves,
both male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though
this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should
they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I
am confident you can help. Thank you again for
reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

Even people that have the same amount of sense as a bag of hair know that Dr. Laura IS a joke.

Yup. Another one of The Old Broad's hot buttons.

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

Bahahahaha, I gotta save that for later.

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

HA! There is nothing funnier than rubbing the Bible in Christians faces. I would have loved it if that person would have called up the show and asked her on air. PRICELESS! Sticking out tongue

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

She's another right wing nutcase. Wonder if she ever replied. I doubt it. Or she used the old "out of context" line.

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Dr. Laura... Irrational

The one about selling your daughter into slavery always gets me. Laughing out loud