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Watcher
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Hello!

Hey guys!

 Just found this site today.  Some interesting things here.

 I was raised Southern Baptist.  Raised in church.  Accepted Jesus when I was 5 years old, but my mom thought I was too young to really understand.  I was terrified after that because I thought that baptism was required to save me and I wasn't baptised.  She relented when I was 7 because I told her how scared I was that I might die or the world would end without me being baptised and I would go to hell.  How messed up is that to put such a fear in a child?

 Anyway, grew up believing, then distanced myself as I got older.  Told myself that I was just going through a detached time and would come back to the church.  I defended god and whatnot all the time.  Even as I read and studied and thought on it all.  Argued on it all.

 Then I finally realized it was all BS after reading Carl Sagan's final book 'Billions and Billions'.

 I imagined him standing in front of god and being condemned to the lake of fire.  The thought was so completely ridiculous that I finally admitted that I no longer believed in what I was raised to believe.

 I lost religion in pieces.  Lost the 7 days and that man coexisted with dinosaurs.  Lost the world wide flood.  Eventually lost that only one type of religion could get you to heaven.  Then lost it altogether.

 I was 30 when I finally realized I no longer believed.  Didn't believe so strongly that hell held no fear in me any longer.  A lot of my views on things instantly changed.  Just a year before I was against Homosexual Marriage.  But after that....hey two consenting adults want a ceremony and legal status as partners, whatever floats your boat dude.

 Problem is that I have an 11 year old step-daughter and a 3 & 2 year old daughters.  And my mother is still hardcore religious.

 I love my mother.  She has helped me so much throughout my life.  And she believes so strongly.  I can't just tell her that I'm an atheist.  It would destroy her.  She thought I was going to be a preacher or missionary when I was young I was so into it.  Not only that but to believe that I won't raise her beloved grandbabies in christ?  Augh!!!  But guess what she does when she visits?  Starts talking to the eldest and confusing the crap out of her.

I tell the eldest to figure out her own reality.  It's her life.  I don't know what else to do.  But I swear if one of my kids so much as mutter that they have a fear of going to hell...it's going to get ugly.

One thing that really surprised me last year was my mom mentioning an article she read.  I was never told anything against evolution growing up.  Ever.  And I have become extremely interested in human evolution for the last several years.  LOVE IT!  So when she mentioned an article pushing back the common ancestor between humans and chimps a few million years and then said, "See?  I knew there was no monkey.", I accidentally blurted out, "Well there had to be one back there somewhere!".

 Then I had an "Oh SH**" moment.

 And we both dropped the subject.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci


xamination
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Well, it seems to me that,

Well, it seems to me that, at least when you were a child, your mother was pretty open minded herself - if I read it correctly, she didn't want you jumping in right away.  I would suggest telling her your beliefs though; it's never good to keep thing hidden from those you love.  I would not, however, try to convince her to leave her own religion.  Be nice and just tell her what you feel, not what she should.

As to your kids, let them believe what they want to.  Even if it means that they become Christians.  Your respnse to that will be more important than anything you can ever say.  And if your wife insists on teaching them certain Christian things, don't be afraid to teach them your own views. 

I hope that when the world comes to an end I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.


darth_josh
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I concur with xamination

I concur with xamination EXCEPT for the assumption that you have a 'wife' seeing as how you didn't specify your gender.

I would add that just throwing in a few 'fun-to-do' critical thinking tasks will go a long way toward raising skeptics.

 

Nice to see another atheist parent. I have 4 children. 

 

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Watcher
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hehe.  Yes I am a male and

hehe.  Yes I am a male and I have a wife.


darth_josh
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Cool. I think Ashie states

Cool.

I think Ashie states the 'fear' thing pretty well.

 

 

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MattShizzle
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Welcome to the hizzle!

Welcome to the hizzle!


Watcher
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Yeah.  I get where she is

Yeah.  I get where she is coming from perfectly.  When I was watching the Blasphemy challenge videos yesterday I actually got an elevated heartbeat.  How messed up is that?

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci


JCE
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Welcome to the forums!  

Welcome to the forums!

 


Iruka Naminori
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xamination wrote: Well, it

xamination wrote:

Well, it seems to me that, at least when you were a child, your mother was pretty open minded herself - if I read it correctly, she didn't want you jumping in right away. I would suggest telling her your beliefs though; it's never good to keep thing hidden from those you love. I would not, however, try to convince her to leave her own religion. Be nice and just tell her what you feel, not what she should.

If you do, be prepared for the fallout.

My family started out as Southern Baptists, too.  I also accepted Jesus at age five.  My mother is uber-religious, almost insanely religious.  

I finally told her I was an atheist several years ago and I've been paying for it ever since in ways large and small.  Things will go fine for awhile and then, out of the blue, she'll do something really bizarre.   Of course, your mother is a different person, so I can't predict what will happen. 

Personally, I got tired of living a lie, got tired of bowing to theistic beliefs., got tired of feeling like a coward. 

 

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Susan
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Welcome, Watcher!  Your

Welcome, Watcher!  Your story is similar to so many others' from here at the RRS.  We feel your pain with visiting grandmothers! 

Well, I don't.  I have cats.  But others here do.

I digress.....

We're glad you're here and look forward to hearing what you have to say.

 

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Largo
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Watcher wrote: I love my

Watcher wrote:
I love my mother.  She has helped me so much throughout my life.  And she believes so strongly.  I can't just tell her that I'm an atheist.  It would destroy her.  She thought I was going to be a preacher or missionary when I was young I was so into it.  Not only that but to believe that I won't raise her beloved grandbabies in christ?  Augh!!!  But guess what she does when she visits?  Starts talking to the eldest and confusing the crap out of her.
And if she knew she would be certain that her beloved son was going to burn forever in hell. That's the problem with this religion. Not only must she believe that you will burn continuously and for all time, but she must believe that you deserve it. It could do one of two things: shake her faith enough to release her from the hold of that filth, or cause a split from you and your family that would emotionally wreck you both. This is what religion does.
My own mother was an agnostic. For most of my life she was against the church she and I grew up in. We had long discussions about religion and it's horrible depredations upon the world. But when she got ovarian cancer and found herself near death, so her sister tells me, her brother, who was an evangelist got to her at her most vulnerable and convinced her to go back into the fold. If she had thought about it, she would have realized that her four children, agnostics and atheists all, would become flaming pork rinds. I'm sure that that subject was never brought up by my uncle. If she had realized it she would have spit in his eye and said she would jump into the lake of fire rather than survive her children.
I don't hate my uncle for doing what he did...if he did. He was trying to save his sister from what he believed would be her fate. I'd do as much for my sister. But it hurts to know that fucking religion at last came between this perfect mother and her four children. 
I'm 64 and hardly a child. But that really hurts. It will no doubt hurt you, too when the time comes unless you can somehow shock your mother out of the lunacy that holds her in thrall now. I wish you and your entire extended family well.