President of America job gets outsourced to India

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President of America job gets outsourced to India

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Washington , DC (AP) -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007.

The move is being made in order to save the President' s $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $2.4 trillion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years..

"We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge." stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay." Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai , India will assume the office of President as of July 1, 2007.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls , thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a scr ipt tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scr ipting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical or successful work experience.

A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands, as well as his goofy smile.

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MattShizzle
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Heh heh. At least as a

Heh heh. At least as a greeter at Wal-Mart GWB couldn't do too much damage. :ROTF:


neptewn
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I heard these guys are

I heard these guys are working to portect all our jobs, maybe he can volunteer now with all his free time.

Fencing Volunteers Needed for the Following Starting January 8, 2007
Install 7.5 miles barbed wire
6-12 Volunteers Needed Daily

Fence Security Shifts
18 Volunteers Needed Daily

Flag Duty & General Labor
2 Volunteers Needed

http://www.minutemanhq.com/bf/building_schedule.php

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs


Susan
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Actually, I think the

Actually, I think the outsourcing happened some time ago and the news channels have just been using archive footage of Dubya for the evening news.

 

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