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As soon as I gazed upon them I realized my mistake, and tried to slam the door shut, but it was too late! One jumped into the door frame, catching the door with his face and forcing it open. I fell back as they leapt in. I thought I was done for, but then I saw an umbrella next to the door. I grabbed it and skewered one of demons just as he descended towards me with his divine guilt trick, ready to strike. He stumbled and crashed into the floor, screaming about salvation. The other watched as his soul flew from his body and away. I stood up and pulled the umbrella from the mormon coprse. The remaining one had a look of fear on his face. I prepared to attack when two more crept through the doorway! It was like a horror movie. For every one I killed, two more took his place! I stuck the one closest to me in the heart, and he went down like the first one. The other two recoiled, but when two more came through the door they whipped out their condescending holier-than-thou spell. I deflected it with a brief recitation of religious abuse. They countered with a round of no-true-scottsman fallacies.

I had to get away from them, so I ran up the stairs towards my room. They chased close behind, so I turned and kicked one in the face with my steel-toed boots. He rolled down, tripping the others and slowing them up. I turned just in time to see two more of the monsters roar in through the front door. I continued on and made it to my room. I picked up a beer can laying on the floor and threw it at the first one that came in. He immediately started searching through his pamphlets for the one on teen drinking. This gave me just enough time to get to the stereo. I fumbled with the CDs, glancing back to see the evil ones coming towards me, razor edged help-through-god pamphlets outstretched. Knowing my end was near, I forced the Slayer CD into the stereo and put it on full blast. "Reign of Blood" came on and they all froze. I grabbed one of the speakers and used it as a shield. They all turned pale (-er) and dropped their books and pamphlets. Their eyes got very wide, and I shouted "YOUR HELMETS WON'T SAVE YOU NOW!!" They turned and tried to escape, but fell to the floor trying to cover their ears. I laughed as their heads exploded in blood and their bodies spontaneously combusted.

I went back downstairs to find more dead bodies in my doorway, of replacements that had unwisely tried to help their comrades. The mess took forever to clean up. I now keep an AK-47 in my umbrella stand next to the door, just to be ready. I still see them sometimes, as they stand at the edge of the property line and stare at my house contemptuously.

True story.

I can see a lot of people here have experienced this. You try to get a Christian to see the light, but they always retreat to some sort of anti-intellectual appraoch. God changed my life, answered my prayers. I feel him inside of me so you and your arguments are not going to be effective.

How do we get through to such people? Here's how. This is how it worked for me.

First, before showing them they are wrong, you have to teach them how to test truth claims. How do you do that? Simple. Show them, with proofs, that some belief they oppose is false.

For instance, suppose you are dealing with a Protestant. Prove to him that Catholicism is false. It won't be hard. He already wants to accept the proofs. Catholics think verses like Mt 16:18 prove that the pope is infallible. But it says no such thing. Show the Protestant these passages and many others like them. Show him how Popes have made mistakes throughout history in their official capacity (Galileo is a good example). Show him that church councils (which Roman Catholics believe are infallible) contradict one another (for instance the Fourth Lateran Councils claims submission to the Bishop of Rome is essential to salvation, but Vatican II says non Catholics can be saved.)

Show the Protestant that Mormons are wrong. Mormons read James 1:5 to you, which says that if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives it abundantly. They'll then ask you to pray about the Book of Mormon to see if it is true. Explain to the Protestant the that text is not proof that you should pray to know such things. Wisdom is not knowledge. The Bible also teaches that "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" This means you can't trust your internal feelings as a test for truth.

Your Christian friend is now learning tests for truth. He's learning logic. He's learning that it doesn't matter what you "feel." Catholics feel God is with them. Mormons feel God is with them. But that doesn't matter. What matters is, do your beliefs align with Scripture and reality.

There are so many different subjects you could use to allow the Christian to test his logical skills. Suppose he's a five point Calvinist. Take him to Romans 9 and prove that all non-Calvinists are wrong. If he's not a Calvinist, take him to I John 2, which shows that Calvinists are wrong (or the myriad of other texts that show Calvinists are wrong.) If he's young earth, show him the clear biblical teaching that the earth is young. If he's old earth, show him the texts that seem to allow for such an interpretation, and also show him the science.

So now the Christian is confident. His beliefs are rational and based on evidence. He's not one of these emotional people, basing his beliefs on the shifting sands of his own inner feelings. He's based on the Bible and on reality.

Only now do you hit him with evidence. When you do, he can't retreat to a feelings based approach. He can't resort to an irrational approach, because if he does he admits that he can't show that Catholics are wrong and Calvinists are wrong. That's unacceptable.

I've actually sort of used this method. Not exactly as I described it. What happened was a friend of mind introduced me to apologetics. I used it to prove everyone that disagreed with me wrong. And it felt really good to have a Reasonable Faith. I took a lot of friends and family along with me. They became apologists and really liked it.

But now I know how to evaluate evidence. Now when confronted with evidence I can't retreat from it. I have to either face it, or admit that everything I had done proving Catholics and Mormons wrong was invalid. But I knew it wasn't. So I had to abandon my faith.

Did my friends and family abondon their faith? One has turned completely. He was one that was deeply immersed in apologetics. A lot of them are changing to a far more pleasant form of Christianity. They must choose between rejecting Christianity or rejecting their tests for truth. Some have rejected the test for truth. This has sort of turned them into liberal Christians. They admit it is impossible to know if Catholics are right or if Calvinists are right. So the evangelizing slows down quite a bit. Maybe it's not exactly what you'd like to see happen, but it is an improvement.

I put this on my front door:

I'd say it weeds out 50% of what we used to get. The stupid baptists and JW's apparently think this sign doesn't apply to them.