Lesbian's baby
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When I go to bed every night, the only way I can get my brain to relax is to promise myself that I have already heard the craziest shit I will ever hear and that tomorrow will be relatively sane. Many days, this is true, but not today.
Today, I received a call from a dear friend of mine from undergrad. In her senior year, she came out of the closet and informed us that she is a lesbian. I welcomed the news because I think lesbians are wicked awesome, and I had a lot of questions that one can only ask a close friend. At any rate, my friend has been in a seven year relationship and has gotten "married." I don't recall what state it happened in or whether it is just a vow between them. (Thank you Republican party for the inability to say, asses.)
So, they have been together for some time, and they want to have a kid. I thought that was nice and said so. They are well educated and affluent. As far as I am concerned, homosexuality is not a bar from having children. So, my brain was not on alert as to why my friend was talking to me about this. Then, she says, "We'd like you to be the donor."
I nearly lost control of my bodily functions because my brain tried to escape from my head. I played it off like she was kidding, but she repeated the request. I explained to her that I am disinclined because I do not feel that I should pass on my genetic material. She said they liked the idea of me due to my personality. So, I told her that I would reflect on it. I really don't know what to say. It flips me out a little but is also a nice compliment.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
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Haggle with them.
You'll donate if they have a threesome with you.
Hm, if the question were posed to me (which im sure that would never happen but still) I would have to think long and hard about it. My only concern would be that if you go along with it, to make sure that you talk to a lawyer as I vaguely remember hearing something somewhere about a similar issue where two people were married (guy and girl), got divorced and the girl got together with another girl. Since the two girls could not get married (and I don't think the divorce went very well so they had no reason to) he has to pay alimony till the end of time. I would make sure that if you were the donor that you make sure (even though shes your friend, still ) that you would not be responsible for paying for raising the kid (unless you want to and then ignore me ;p).
I can't see myself having kids (mind you im 25 so this may change, but still).
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Yeah, but for all we know "We want you to be the donor" could mean jizz in a cup while looking at a well-used copy of playboy.
Nero, I really think you need to ask yourself how you would feel about having a child out there that you don't actively 'father'... I think that's the big question - whether or not they will make good parents is just a little sub-question.
Isn't child support mandatory by law despite what the agreement is between the parties?
My immediate reaction was no, but she made me promise to sleep on it. I must admit that I had never considered having a little Nero that I didn't parent. It does bother me.
As for the menage a trois, I could have suggested that before, and they would have obliged. As I said, we are good friends....
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Money is not a concern.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Dude. Imagine you X2. That's double you. How could you not want that? That's double the awesome. Like double mint gum, but with awesome.
That is, unless it's a girl. That'd suck.
Is there something wrong with your genetic material?
Sounds made up...
Agnostic Atheist
No, I am not angry at your imaginary friends or enemies.
I disagree that whether they would make good parents is a sub-question. If I were in that situation I would not do it otherwise. I assume however that since the request wasn't turned down summarily that the concern on whether they would be good parents is not high.
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Nero, we can't have little neros running around.
First of all, you stated in another post that you have health issues that you wouldn't want to pass down.
Second, you stated somewhere that you used to be (still are?) a lawyer, the world doesn't need anymore lawyers.
So do the moral thing while still appearing to help out your friend, go get a vasectomy and then tell your friend you will be happy to contribute. Have fun trying and contribute your small part towards protecting the genetics of humanity.
If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X
It'd be a really admirable thing for you to do, but why don't they just go with an anonymous donor? I understand that they like you and think that you'd give them a cool kid, but it seems like serious complications could arise from having your biological child raised by your friends. Perhaps going to a sperm bank would be easier. Verbally slap me if you think I'm being audacious here.
I didn't even think about the fact that being that they are friends of yours, that if you saw the kid you would know but then probably would not be able to say anything. That might be a tad of a strain on the friendship.
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I have no intention of contributing anything worthwhile.
You go boy.
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Dude, I'd be like, "Ruh-roh!"
I think the best choice for them would be an anonymous donor. Of course, I can only think of how I'd feel, but it would seriously freak me out.
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go into the desert for fourty days, quickly leave now, then go camping for a month , then ride a sea doo most all day for a week, only then take on a princess and deliver a child, with many more wished to come ....
I say this from my heart and experience, as a father of only one, as I was seduced by my own rushed desire to have it all ...
Slow down friend, there is absolutley nothing to prove ...
but yes such a nice idea, a wonderful wife and a bunch of kids, and we like a common happy king ...
sorry , my broken heart has never healed .....
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You did a backslide, dude. This is another Moody Blues poem.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
What's wrong with girls? I have two of them, and I'm much happier with the prospect of raising a couple of tough girls than I am with trying to raise a boy or two.
Nero - I think you have to do more than sleep on this. You have to let the thought sink in for a few days, or even weeks, and keep talking to the couple about possible scenarios after the child in born (like if someone on either side changes their mind about wanting or not wanting to be involved, etc.). Giving the entire process a thorough review is probably the only way you (and they) are going to be able to decide if this is really the right way to go.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
You have a problem with girls?
If god takes life he's an indian giver
I think this can be boiled down to a single question with a yes/no answer: do you want to be a father?
Forget everything else for a second. Do you want to have a child? If no, well, you're done considering. If yes, you have a bunch more things to hash out.
Will you take responsibility for the child if something happens and both moms die? Do you want to bring someone else into the world knowing you won't have daily contact with them? What do you do if you see the child being parented in a way you think is wrong?
I'm sure there are a ton more things to think about in this situation (especially considering you know the details of the situation and we don't), but I think a short answer to my first question is where you start.
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I would still check into the legal implications of this agreement. You never know how something like this could play out 15 years from now.
"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." -- former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien
Folks, I have a juris doctorate. I understand the legal situation, thanks.
It's an interesting position to be in. I'd probably say yes, this is probably because I'm irecklessly impulsive. I'd want access though. I quite like the idea of having a little Jacob or Jacobina. I'm only just coming up to 21 and am dirt poor and still in education so I shouldn't even be thinking about it.
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No you shouldn't, you crazy British commie.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Ha! Commie!! How dare you!
Also, just wanted to add that you have to think of the rest of your family too. I'm assuming you don't have other kids (because of the comment about passing genetic material down) but if you do or if your mother has always wanted a grandchild, etc... of course you have the final decision but it is something to think about.
Didn't know that. Have some questions for you:
1) How do they expect you to impregnate this woman?
2) Why does it matter to you whether a child exists that shares half your DNA?
3) Is genelogy the only basis for parenthood in your opinion?
4) Is adoption an option in their state for lesbian couples?
"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." -- former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien
http://www.bamababiesandbirthdays.com/LOD/princess/princess_room2.jpg
Yes.
LOD shouldn't have anything to do with princess rooms but with Baal, the Lord of Destruction. That's man stuff. Men are rad. Muscles n' shit.
lol! You don't like girls because they have princess rooms? I'm so confused. Is it the pink? Does purple make you crazy or something?
Women are way tougher than men.
If god takes life he's an indian giver
The princess rooms are a big part of it. The purple and pink are also super un-manly. I mean, I can't benchpress 850 pounds while drinking shockalate for some power legs in a princess room.
1. The way nature intended, of course. It will involve me blowing a load into a plastic cup, a physician taking whatever material is needed, the material getting rammed home in whatever fashion the physician chooses.
2. My DNA, while suffering from a tendency to cause its carrier strokes, is the best DNA a child could receive; so, I am judicious with its application. Holy shit, if I would allow my DNA to go to any woman who wanted it, all children would be half-siblings by 2025. I think we know where that leaves the rest of your guys.
3. Parenthood is primarily who raises the child. Genealogy is a portion of the parenting as well. A child of my DNA is going to be an easier child to raise. That child will be decidedly more intelligent than its peers, will be virtually impervious to illness, and will develop the emotional wisdom of a sage before it is out of kindergarten. Parenthood of such a child will be a joy, unlike what I observe most parents going through.
4. Yes, they could adopt if they so desire.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Yes, safely in the deep end of the gene pool.
Well, it sounds like the only question here is whether or not you feel these women are worthy of your DNA. Doesn't sound like you have (at this point) any potential issues regarding attachment to the child, etc.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?