Who wants to laugh? Fundies are hilarious!

Archeopteryx
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Who wants to laugh? Fundies are hilarious!

 

I wish I could tell you that the following is sarcastic or fake, but it's actually very real. It's from one of those little Christian booklets called "tracts". There are hundreds of these things, and each one is more ridiculous than the next. Every tract discusses a different topic, but I found this one especially hilarious:

 

 

 

Unbelievable!

 

I also highly recommend the tract about how evolution is a lie and creationism is real. They cite Hovind, and that's not even the worst part. Unbelievable: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5001/5001_01.asp

 

If reading those hasn't completely demolished your will to live, and you still feel like you can read more, then here is the entire list:

http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp

 

I still can't believe these things. Someone actually had to sit down, write, and draw all of these. And they believed what they were saying the whole time! That is simply amazing in the most terribly horrible way.

But funny.

 

A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.


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Just about every Chick Tract

Just about every Chick Tract is absurd and overflowing with ignorance.


Archeopteryx
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    MrRage wrote: Just

 

 

MrRage wrote:
Just about every Chick Tract is absurd and overflowing with ignorance.

 

Fixed. =D 

A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.


illeatyourdog
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This reminded me of

This reminded me of something ive always had problems with (which is why I never got past the first oage of the Bible).  It says the earth was without form and void then it talks about water.  Now without form and void seems redundant unless they are invoking aristotles notion of prime matter which I highly doubt.  However, the real contradiction comes with the mention of water.  I mean its without form and void (empty according to the comic) but theres water?  Wouldn't the presence of water constitute a form of earth?  Even if there was no land, the form of earth would be water.  Furthermore, the presence of water means that earth was not void.  And its not like it was specified beforehand that God created water, it  was just brought up out of nowhere as if it was already there since this was before god even created light.  How literalists make sense of this I have no idea becuase from a literal standpoint, even they have to admit that the presence of water constitutes form and that the Bible never mentions, anywhere, that God actually created the waters that he put the lands into.

" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff


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This was actually the first

This was actually the first Chick comic I ever read.  I was visiting my grandma in rural Missouri when I was probably under the age of 8.  I found it alongside the road and just thought it was the dumbest thing ever.  Around then my brother and his friends played D&D and was interested in it myself and thought that nobody would be dumb enough to kill themselves because of a dead character.  I just threw it away amazed people could write such BS.

Jack Chick helped me along my path to realizing my Atheism. 


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I wish magic was real...

I wish magic was real...


Archeopteryx
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illeatyourdog wrote: This

illeatyourdog wrote:
This reminded me of something ive always had problems with (which is why I never got past the first oage of the Bible). It says the earth was without form and void then it talks about water. Now without form and void seems redundant unless they are invoking aristotles notion of prime matter which I highly doubt. However, the real contradiction comes with the mention of water. I mean its without form and void (empty according to the comic) but theres water? Wouldn't the presence of water constitute a form of earth? Even if there was no land, the form of earth would be water. Furthermore, the presence of water means that earth was not void. And its not like it was specified beforehand that God created water, it was just brought up out of nowhere as if it was already there since this was before god even created light. How literalists make sense of this I have no idea becuase from a literal standpoint, even they have to admit that the presence of water constitutes form and that the Bible never mentions, anywhere, that God actually created the waters that he put the lands into.

 

Haha, good point. I can't say that I ever really caught that, but it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Of course, it's not a very meaty contradiction since a determined Christian would probably just make it some kind of semantic issue.

Nonetheless, a good point! 

A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.


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Its sort of telling and

Its sort of telling and funny that the one linked as the world-wide favorite:

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0001/0001_01.asp

Is about an atheist dieing, goes to heaven, are judged by god and sent to hell.

These are the people I have the hardest time understanding.

Why are these religious people always this angry?

"Everyone knows that God drives a Plymouth: "And He drove Adam And Eve from the Garden of Eden in His Fury."
And that Moses liked British cars: "The roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout the hills."
On the other hand, Jesus humbly drove a Honda but didn't brag about it, because in his own words: "I did not speak of my own Accord." "


illeatyourdog
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Archeoptryx wrote: Of

Archeoptryx wrote:
Of course, it's not a very meaty contradiction since a determined Christian would probably just make it some kind of semantic issue.

 

YOu have no idea how many times that has been pulled on me.  Of coures its like "Youre missing the point, which is God created everything in 6 days." or "Ok, now I know youre just messing with me".  And I think one even said "Ok now youre just reading into it too much".  The things I get Christians to say about their own book is priceless. 

 

Quote:
Nonetheless, a good point!

 

You should hear my confusion over the moses massacre about the golden calf.  The way I read it, Moses went beyond God and ordered it himself and God didn't care.  I do not exxagerate when I say 5 year olds can write clearer narratives. 

" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff


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Jack Chick is bizarre

When I was younger, Jack Chick tracts scared the s*&t out of me... given to me by my Baptist aunt.

Now that I'm older, I just laugh at them because they are so retarded.

 

Weather