A lawyer, an atheist and a Jesus freak
Offline were in a small airplane flying over a mountain when the pilot let out a loud gasp and slumped over the controls. The atheist cried out "Ah crap, he's dead and there's only one parachute". The three looked at each other for a minute and finally the lawyer grabbed the parachute pushed the other two aside and shouted, "I'm a lawyer, I've got rich, important clients and big cases to handle. My life is more important than yours".
And then he jumped.
The atheist and the Jesus Freak looked at each other for a minute. Finally the Jesus Freak said, "My god will save me and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute screaming "Praise the Loooooorrrrrrrrd ..."
As the last sound from the Jesus Freak was fading away, the pilot sat up in his seat and looked at the athiest. He frowned, fished 20 dollars out of his pocket and handed it to the atheist. The atheist said, "See. I told you. Lawyers think they are god and Jesus Freaks think there is a god"
Meh. I was bored. It was the best I could think up.
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*falls out of seat laughing*
That was really good!
I read this in a magazine
A priest, a doctor and a lawyer were stuck behind a particularly slow gorup of golfers. After three holes, thye complained to the greenskeeper.
"Sorry guys. That's a group of blind firefighters." the man explained.
"They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from burning down las year, so we let them play here any time for free."
"That's so sad," the priest said, "I'll say a prayer for them tonight."
"Good idea," the doctor agreed. "I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
"I guess," the lawyer said. "But why can't they play at night?"
Both are good.