Your proudest theist pwning moment?

BenfromCanada
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Your proudest theist pwning moment?

Name your proudest theist pwning moment.

Mine: 2 years ago, I went to a youth group "reunion". I was there for a few days. One of them was a sunday. We went to the bible study 2 or 3 hours beforehand. I promised to my friends to be respectful despite my atheism. We were allowed to discuss the passage and such, which would have ruled if I were comfortable with telling these people I was atheist and actually debating the legitimacy of this book. I don't even remember what we were discussing, we did go on to some tangents.

Anyway, some old dude said something about how even believers can be misled, after all, Satan was once an angel and he led 1/3 of all angels away. I said "with all due respect, that's no where in the bible at all, you're just making it up from extrabiblical sources." He told me about the morning star in Isaiah that fell, and I said "read it in context, he's CLEARLY talking about Israel, not a devil named Lucifer." He replies "but they used the word 'Lucifer'-" I interjected "Which means 'bright' and was a word commonly used for the sun. He was comparing Israel to the sun." The dude was red faced and completely embarassed, then shut up.

Later on, after the music was over and the sermon started, the same guy who I had just completely demolished in a few sentences took the pulpit. Turns out he was the pastor! The fucking pastor knew less about the bible than I did! I felt so awesome.

EDIT: I just remember one of my friends who went to that church telling me how I'd love that pastor because he was so smart and well read in the bible...yeah


Iruka Naminori
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My family is good friends

My family is good friends with a rather powerful family here in California.  One of them was a Republican state senator until he got the boot.  His brother is a Baptist minister.  Neither of them are the kind of person any sane person would want to befriend.

I was getting ready to graduate from college and was really starting to question.  "Boots" (his real nickname...no joke) came to visit.  He was completely disgusted with a guy who used to be a local preacher and had become an atheist...some yahoo named "Dan Barker."  I knew of Mr. Barker 1) from a musical we had performed at fundy school and 2) because of his appearance on the Phil Donahue Show.  I had found Mr. Barker's points persuasive, but I kept my mouth shut...this time.

Somehow the subject turned to Jimmy Swaggart's sex scandal and my mouth did its usual tactless thing.  It opened (all on its own, I swear!) and said, "Jimmy Swaggart is such a hypocrite."

Boots looked at me sternly.  "Now, Laura, you know that if you say bad things about those in authority over you, you are inviting an attack from the devil."

My mind no longer believed that shit, but the guilt impulse hadn't caught up yet.  I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline that accompanied my state of permanent religion-induced shame. The conversation went on without me for a few minutes.

Then, getting an idea, I brightened: "So, Stuart,"--I could never bring myself to call him "Boots"--"what do you think about Jim Bakker?" 

Oh, it was so hard to keep my mouth shut as he expounded on the depravity of Jim Bakker.  I managed to wait until he had finished and said, "Now, Stuart, you know that if you say bad things about those in authority over you, you are inviting an attack from the devil."

Good ol' Bootsie turned purple and my family actually laughed at him.

PWN3D! 

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BenfromCanada
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haha! Awesome, Iruka. It's

haha! Awesome, Iruka. It's awesome how people rarely actually apply their morality to themselves. "Yeah, YOU can't say this, but I can and will right now!"


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Iruka Naminori

Iruka Naminori wrote:

"Jimmy Swaggart is such a hypocrite."

he expounded on the depravity of Jim Bakker.

Maybe I'm forgetting something here.

Jimmy Swaggart got busted for prostitutes.

Jim Bakker got busted for spending his money on air conditioned dog houses, etc. AND an affair/rape. 

So, according to your buddy, Bootsie, Swaggart is OK and Bakker is a jerk? 

I find this very confusing.

However, I loved both of these stories a lot.  I wish I were that quick thinking when confronted face-to-face with silliness like that.

 

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Iruka Naminori
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Susan wrote:

Susan wrote:
Iruka Naminori wrote:

"Jimmy Swaggart is such a hypocrite."

he expounded on the depravity of Jim Bakker.

Maybe I'm forgetting something here.

Jimmy Swaggart got busted for prostitutes.

Jim Bakker got busted for spending his money on air conditioned dog houses, etc. AND an affair/rape.

So, according to your buddy, Bootsie, Swaggart is OK and Bakker is a jerk?

I find this very confusing.

However, I loved both of these stories a lot. I wish I were that quick thinking when confronted face-to-face with silliness like that.

 

This incident took place sometime in 1988-89, right after the fall of Swaggart.

You got it. Swaggart got caught with his pants down and Bakker was mostly in trouble for fraud. For some reason I sensed Stuart would not approve of Bakker...possibly because he was effeminate. Stuart and his brother are into machismo.

Sometime I'll share a short story with you that is kind of a snapshot of the macho white male / Christian / Republican culture that raised me. Ew. Smiling

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Hmmm, I think my favorite

Hmmm, I think my favorite moment was a day I was escorting at the local clinic and one of the fundy protesters was arguing with me.  Keep in mind this guy was a pastor of a church.  The topic was naturally abortion being at an abortion clinic.  I remember what I said was something like, "What's god going to do, kill all the first born of Wichita?"

 His response was, "That's not in God's nature."

 Apparently he was clueless about the entire book of Exodus and the plagues against the Pharoah.  When I brought that up he had the look on his face like he was instantly made an asshat and said, "I'll have to check up on that."  He didn't say anything the rest of the day.

Pwning a pastor, it's a Mentos moment. 


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My pwning moment was with

My pwning moment was with Bohitharta and these Mormons that keep coming to my house.

I pwn them once every week. 


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There were a couple theist

There were a couple theist idiots on youtube that thought they could actually outsmart the atheists on that site. Eventually, there were some like Violet Kitty who cowardly disabled all comments on her videos and made a video basically telling us that what ever pointy headed intellectual evidence and reason that we could present we knew in our hearts and souls that god was real and that we were using those arguements as an excuse to live without following gods laws. She said she wasn't going to listen to us anymore, no matter how well we proved her wrong. To me, I consider that to have been a victory.


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I  used to pwn JWs with the

I  used to pwn JWs with the bible....and converted one to christianity.


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My favorite pwning moment

My favorite pwning moment was when I brought up Malichi 2:3 "Behold I will coorupt your seed and spread dung on your faces"

The guy came back and said, "Thats not the correct interpretation" The NIV says "Refuse" not dung".

I said, "Ok, take your pick, trash or poop, would god spread it in your face?"

He said, "Its kinda like when dad threatens to knock you into next Tuesday if you dont shape up. It is not litteral." OF COURSE.

I went on, "Really, so God is willing to tourture you with unimaginable pain in hell for eternity, but cant or wont spread "poop/trash" in your face?"

Well if spreading poop/or trash is not litteral, then why would hell be? On the other hand if hell is horrible and real a simple slap on the wriste like spreading poop/trash in your face should be possible.

 

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Iruka Naminori wrote: I

Iruka Naminori wrote:

I was getting ready to graduate from college and was really starting to question. "Boots" (his real nickname...no joke) came to visit. He was completely disgusted with a guy who used to be a local preacher and had become an atheist...some yahoo named "Dan Barker." I knew of Mr. Barker 1) from a musical we had performed at fundy school and 2) because of his appearance on the Phil Donahue Show. I had found Mr. Barker's points persuasive, but I kept my mouth shut...this time.

The Dan Barker from FFRF? Cool!

About 8 or 9 years ago I worked side by side with a young female believer. We were having a casual converstion when I mentioned a near miss accident. She said, "Jesus was looking out for you. Jesus was there to protect you."

I has recently finished reading "Ken's Guide to the Bible" by Ken Smith. It exposes all the contradictions and weird parts of the bible. So I asked my co-worker, "Did you know the bible mentions two different ways  Judas died? One way he hanged himself, and the other way God struck him down while he was plowing in a field and spilled his guts out. And how is it that god created light before he created the sun?"

I also mentioned a couple of other things that are contradictory in the bible, forget now what they were. Afterward, my Jesus loving co-worker said, "Ah, I dunno." She then involved herself in her work and didn't talk to me the rest of the day.

 

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Mine happened over a few

Mine happened over a few days back in 1999. I was working in a bank as security. One day a guy belonging to one of the christian denominations(a priest or something, not too familiar with the hierarchy of religious structures, but he had a congregation and was dressed in the priest-type clothing) approached me and asked me if I believed in god. If it had been busy I probably would have told him I didn't have time to discuss the matter, but the place was empty. So I told him I didn't. Over the next 3 or 4 days we'd have a 30 or so minute chat every time he came in over various portions of his belief system. It was the first debate I'd ever had on the subject in person. One or two online, but those were generally against trolls anyway. A week after the last conversation we had I was transferred to a different site because I pissed off a customer who happened to have a large bank account but thought he wasn't subject to law. I didn't see the "priest" for a month or two. But it happened to be my bank that I'd been working in at the time, and a couple months later I was cashing a cheque and saw the guy again. He was dressed in normal clothes this time, which struck me as odd. I approached him to talk and once he recognized me he told me that I'd convinced him to do some reading up on things and that he'd abandoned his religion. He thanked me for debating with him and said he felt so much better, like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

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Iruka Naminori
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rab wrote:

rab wrote:

The Dan Barker from FFRF? Cool!

Yup. Smiling

He became an ordained minister in Standard, CA, one of the tiniest towns in this rural county. Standard is just a few miles from here and if you blink while driving through it, you will miss it. The church there is / was tiny. I believe it has been completely rebuilt.

I corresponded with Mr. Barker a few years ago. He inquired after several people in the county and I knew or knew of most of them. It really is a small community. When I was driving through Standard, I stopped and snapped a picture of--I kid you not--"The Cowboy Church." YEEEEEEEE-HAW for Jesus! It wasn't called that until recently.


 

Standard Church--now Standard Cowboy Church--where Dan Barker became an ordained minister.


Swingin' Downtown Standard...it's a busy place. 

 


When I was in the 4th Grade, we performed "Mary Had a Little Lamb," a Christian children's musical written by Dan Barker. I remember most of it, including my solo. Oddly, Mr. Barker didn't.

 

My cousin Kim, a musician like me, inquired and I said, "We're singing that musical by that guy Dan Barker. Bethany says he's a relative of hers."

My cousin, for some inexplicable reason, seemed shocked. "What did you say?"

"I said we're singing a musical by that guy Dan Barker--"

"Oh!" Kim laughed. "I thought you said "that god-damned Barker.'"

Many years later, I shared that story with Mr. Barker and asked him if he was now, truly, god-damned. Smiling I guess he and I both, eh?

 

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I'm surprised he doesn't

I'm surprised he doesn't remember that musical - he has a picture of it in Losing Faith in Faith.

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MattShizzle wrote:

MattShizzle wrote:
I'm surprised he doesn't remember that musical - he has a picture of it in Losing Faith in Faith.

Well, he remembered the musical, but some of the details were getting blurry. I gave him the lyrics to my solo:


We saw a shining star above us.

It really was an awesome sight.

And then the angels came descending.

It filled the shepherds' hearts with fright.


He said I probably knew it better than he did at this point. He tried to buy back the royalties for his Christian musicals, but the company wouldn't let him because they are money-makers.

It actually was cutesy, from a Christian point of view. I enjoyed being a part of it.

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American Atheist wrote: My

American Atheist wrote:

My pwning moment was with Bohitharta and these Mormons that keep coming to my house.

I pwn them once every week. 

Wow, I had the same proudest pwning moments. Bod, and Mormons. Although, Bod was an easy target, and I think just about everyone he talked with pwned him. It was so funny to watch him try to justify his claim that you can measure both time and distance in lightyears.

For the Mormons, I went to a university with a lot of Mormon missionaries, and I kept getting approached by them. So I read the Book of Mormon, and memorized some of my favorite problems with it. One day, I was sitting in an open area on campus with a friend, and a Missionary walked up, and asked if we had a moment to speak with him. I said that we did, and so he sat down with us, and I made him open his BoM and go from verse to verse explaining all the problems I could remember. He had no idea what to do about that. He just had to follow along.

The irony was that I was in the latter part of my own Christianity, and episodes like this contributed to my abandoning religion. When the missionary walked up, he was interrupting a Bible study I was having with a 'friend' from the cult I was nominally attached to. I think that 'friend' was just about as confused as the poor missionary.

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Vastet wrote: Mine happened

Vastet wrote:
Mine happened over a few days back in 1999. I was working in a bank as security. One day a guy belonging to one of the christian denominations(a priest or something, not too familiar with the hierarchy of religious structures, but he had a congregation and was dressed in the priest-type clothing) approached me and asked me if I believed in god. If it had been busy I probably would have told him I didn't have time to discuss the matter, but the place was empty. So I told him I didn't. Over the next 3 or 4 days we'd have a 30 or so minute chat every time he came in over various portions of his belief system. It was the first debate I'd ever had on the subject in person. One or two online, but those were generally against trolls anyway. A week after the last conversation we had I was transferred to a different site because I pissed off a customer who happened to have a large bank account but thought he wasn't subject to law. I didn't see the "priest" for a month or two. But it happened to be my bank that I'd been working in at the time, and a couple months later I was cashing a cheque and saw the guy again. He was dressed in normal clothes this time, which struck me as odd. I approached him to talk and once he recognized me he told me that I'd convinced him to do some reading up on things and that he'd abandoned his religion. He thanked me for debating with him and said he felt so much better, like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
That is, perhaps, the best one. You made a real difference in his life. It wasn't just embarassing and proving the ignorance of these people, but really and truly saving him from a lifetime of ignorance. Congratulations.


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Thank you. It was one of my

Thank you. It was one of my greatest experiences. It was also the moment that showed me it was possible to get someone to turn away from their faith with simple discussion. It's because of him that I started challenging belief more aggressively. Kind of snowballed from that moment.

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 Most EPIC ATHEIST WIN EVER!

 Most EPIC ATHEIST WIN EVER!