I wrote an essay, I'd appreciate opinions and critiques.

Maragon
Maragon's picture
Posts: 351
Joined: 2007-04-01
User is offlineOffline
I wrote an essay, I'd appreciate opinions and critiques.

They sneer at science one minute, try their damnedest to 'refute' scientific theories, and in the next minute bastardize science in an attempt to create 'scientific proofs' for their deity. So which is it? Does science have the power to explain the world or doesn't it? I suspect you believe that science only applies when you want it to apply, and you dismiss it when it doesn't prove what you'd like it to.

They lie, misquote and misrepresent scientific facts simply to further their own silly agendas. They willfully ignore scientific evidence all while stating that we should accept their evidence because it came from 'god' or the 'bible'. So, I'm to accept evidence for how the world was created that was written over 2000 years ago? Wasn't that around the same time that we believed the world was flat and that the sky had windows to let the rain in? Wasn't that about the time that disease was considered the work of demons or bad spirits? Wasn't that a pre-scientific time?
The fact of the matter is that at the time Genesis was written by some guy, the idea that a god made the world WAS the only plausible answer. We didn't have science, we were ignorant of the spherical nature of the world, that we orbited around the sun, of germs and genomes, of dna and dinosaurs, of geology and geography, evolution and common descent wasn't even thought of. But now, science has explained so many things that the bible was wrong about; we know the earth is round, we know that the earth revolves around the sun, we know dinosaurs roamed the earth millions of years before we existed, we know why rain happens, we know disease isn't caused by demons, we know that evolution has shaped and produced the billions of animals that have existed over the millenia. Don't you realize that this opposition to evolution is just the persecution of Galileo all over again? When the idea that the earth revolved around the sun and not the other way around like the bible stated was postulated, the man who made the discovery was bullied and almost sentenced to death by christians - all because he had an idea that proved the bible wrong. But nowadays you accept that the world is round, and you accept that the earth revolves around the sun. You accept the theory of gravity, you believe that it works the way science says that it does - you don't scream and take offense, telling us 'gravitiers' that what's really happening is that god is pushing down in us all the time to keep us in place. It's only a matter of time until the controversy surrounding this theory dies down too - and truly, in industrialized countries, the USA is the only population that seems to have a problem. The rest of the world has already come to terms with the evidence and what science says.

I am certain that idiots like Comfort and Cameron have been TOLD time and again that evolution is not random, and that science doesn't say that the universe came from nothing. However, they're making millions of dollars off of telling people exactly what they want to hear, so any evidence will never be good enough for them. Honestly, these IDers and Creationists are SELLING you something. Go to the Way of The Master website and see how many pamphlets, books, DvDs, classes, and other merchandise they're trying to get you to purchase. Sure, they'll tell you that your god created the universe - for a price, for more of your money. Go to the Creation Museum and pay the $20 admission fee so you can see animatronic dinosaurs who apparently ate vegetation instead of animals with their razorsharp teeth. Real museums charge a fraction of the price - because they're out to educate, not make money. Ken Hamm and Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort and Todd Friel and Peter Popoff and all the rest of them are living in nicer homes than yours and driving fancy cars and living a great life all because you are paying them literally millions of dollars a year. You're paying them to argue that science isn't real, you're paying them to keep you happy and ignorant. And this doesn't just go for the 'big names' in Creationism/ID - even the small website owners are usually selling something - tshirts, a self-published book, ect. And what credentials do these men hold? Are they University Professors with PhD's who have devoted their lives to scientific research regarding these matters? While I believe that it is more important to attack the argument than the person, credentials are still and important way to judge who is trustworthy when you're not familiar with the subjects being discussed. Would you take advice from a medical doctor, or some guy who read about medicine on the internet?


But more than anything else, I despise the theist who pretends that he's an expert in the fields of biology, chemistry, astronomy, history and genetics combined. The men I spoke about above like to talk alot about what evolution and the big bang are, and why they can't possibly be real - but these guys have never done any scientific research of their own, and they have no credentials whatsoever. Think about what you're doing when you believe these men - you're saying that you would rather listen to an un-educated man because he's going to tell you what you want to hear rather than an expert who refuses to lie to you.

The theists on these boards who show up, copy and paste arguments from apologetics sites and insists over and over that he knows better than the experts you do - because he read it somewhere on the internet, are merely playing into the hands of these men. The IDers/Creationists think that they're smarter than our historians, more educated than our psychology and philosophy majors, better versed in evolution that our biologists - because you've been to an apologetics website, or maybe watched some Ray Comfort videos on Youtube. Why do you think you know better than the experts? Why does it not occur to you that maybe you just don't UNDERSTAND what the theories are saying? I don't understand quantum physics, however, I don't think that this makes physics any less valid or true.The fact of the matter is that if evolution or the big bang DIDN'T conflict with the ideas of your god, you wouldn't even know the theory. There are so many scientific theories that have far less evidence and are far more controversial, but you don't bother to debate those because they say nothing about your god. Do you honestly believe that when you say something like, 'evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics', or 'we've never seen a transitional form', that you're out-smarting thousands of men and women who are card carrying PhD's? Don't you realize that if this were true that the theory would have been revised or cast out completely? Making claims like this places you in the same league as the conspiracy theorists that believe that NASA faked the moon landings, aliens landed at Roswell, or that the US government orchestrated the horrible attacks on September 11th.

Nothing makes me more furious than the armchair scholars who come here and parrot the ideas that have been fed to them,(for only $19.99 BUY NOW! and we'll throw in some Jesus Saves bumper stickers!) by men who are getting filthy rich off of these deluded believers. Creationism and ID movements are profit driven power houses, and they can afford to drop several million dollars on propaganda, scientists are just normal people who make a normal wage. Creationism/ID simply has better PR. I understand the want, the drive to believe that we were divinely created. It sounds so much more poetic and special than evolution does, but we have evidence to support one, and none to support the other. And before you go ahead and point out that I am no expert, please realize that I've never claimed to be. However, I do accept the expert testimony that has been made available to me by the men and women who have worked all of their lives to be able to explain the wonders of the natural world to us. And, as I said earlier, I understand that just because I cannot understand something that science says, doesn't mean that it's untrue - it means that I am untrained, uneducated or simply not intelligent enough to wrap my head around something so complicated. There is no shame in admitting that you don't know or understand something. But saying that you know more than the experts, and refusing to accept evidence when it is presented to you is arrogance in the extreme.


Textom
Textom's picture
Posts: 551
Joined: 2007-05-10
User is offlineOffline
What kind of

What kind of opinions/critiques are you looking for, Maragon?  I'm happy to give feedback.


Andyy
Andyy's picture
Posts: 182
Joined: 2007-05-18
User is offlineOffline
That was a good read

That was a good read Maragon.

My main critique was going to be "You keep accusing creationists of arguing without proper credentials, but I do that too, as do most other atheists on this site."  Then your last few sentences addressed just that Smiling

It sounds like you may be implying that the Creationist movement started because of money.  I personally the movement started as evangelical church teachings that spread rapidly, then the business followed. I think if we removed the people taking advantage of the creation movement for financial gain, we'd still have the teachings rampant in the fundimentalist community.  Kind of like the end times.  That was popular within the evangelical church even before the money started flowing to the authors.

Well done.


Maragon
Maragon's picture
Posts: 351
Joined: 2007-04-01
User is offlineOffline
Textom wrote: What kind of

Textom wrote:
What kind of opinions/critiques are you looking for, Maragon? I'm happy to give feedback.

 

I'd be happy with any kind.

It's only through critique that I can learn how to express and refine my ideas properly, Smiling 


Textom
Textom's picture
Posts: 551
Joined: 2007-05-10
User is offlineOffline
Maragon wrote: Textom

Maragon wrote:

Textom wrote:
What kind of opinions/critiques are you looking for, Maragon? I'm happy to give feedback.

 

I'd be happy with any kind.

It's only through critique that I can learn how to express and refine my ideas properly, Smiling

 Well the voice is the best part.  Reader really gets a sense of the person behind these words talking with passion about a subject that matters.  A lot of persuasive essays fall into a bland, analytic "voiceless voice" that pushes readers away, and this essay definitely doesn't do that--so keep doing what you're doing with the voice.

Also there's a recurring alliterative rythmic thing going on with lists of examples, especially the early parts of the long paragraph, that works well (germs and genomes, dinosaurs and dna).  It's an example of the broader strong word sense that characterizes the style.  The writing itself is strong.

 The third paragraph is kind of a monster--I think it wants to be two?

The biggest question about this essay, I think, is the larger issue of audience and purpose and whether or not the piece is accomplishing what you want it to at this point. 

  • It addresses theists at various points, but given the unquestionable tone of bitterness, even hostility, toward their position, it seems like most theists would be pushed away from the essay without reading it, or would get bogged in the tone to the point where they would not be convinced.
  • As a kind of "open letter" that is addressed to theists, but is actually intended for freethinkers, I think it works. It clarifies some positions and gives validation to some key ideas (I identify with the parts about self-appointed experts) that are in the air right now with this community.
  • As an expression of your own position for the benefit of self-clarification or exploration of ideas (or just blowing off steam) then there's no question that it works.

Of course the real answer is probably that it's some combination of all three of these (or maybe the purpose evolved in the course of writing it).  But I can see how some parts might be tweaked to direct it more explicitly toward your intended audience and purpose.

And anyway it's a good read regardless. 

"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert


Maragon
Maragon's picture
Posts: 351
Joined: 2007-04-01
User is offlineOffline
Textom, thank you so much

Textom, thank you so much for your kind compliments and your excellent suggestions as to how I can clarify my tone.

I think you hit the head on the nail.