Name One Thing/Idea Religious People Try To Use To Get People To Come To Their Church!

Slimm
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Name One Thing/Idea Religious People Try To Use To Get People To Come To Their Church!

Name One Thing/Idea Religious People Try To Use To Get People To Come To Their Church!

Candy

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As abstract as it sounds,

As abstract as it sounds, I've actually been propositioned to come to a rival church because of how nice of a basketball court they had.  Every Tuesday, my friends and I used to play at this church that had a fullcourt.   Its the best place to play for free in my town.  However, you still play at a price!  We had a kind of middle "halftime" where we all had to sit together, talk about God and how Jesus could affect our lives, and generally pray.  This was mandatory.  Whenever a church member would try to get me to come to their regular services, I would just say that I was already a member of my own church....without a basketball court.  Haha.  This wasn't a lie, at the time, but of course the only reason I was there was for that court.  About 20 other people, I know, felt exactly the same.

So anyway, there's my answer.  A church community will set up something special (with their priviledged donations) that the area is lacking to draw in visitors.  Many churchs down here, in the South, use sports as their avenue.


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I knew a church that told

I knew a church that told someone they wanted for their softball team.

"You don't have to be a Christian or anything - just come to church once a week. we need you to play shortstop" 

Then there are the obvious ones (bribing the kids to show up for Sunday School/VBS, gift certificates for SS teachers with the most members of their class in the revival service) 

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin


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If you hang out long enough,

If you hang out long enough at a mass, you get a snack towards the end.


BenfromCanada
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Here are some ones that I

Here are some ones that I have heard that I found silly.

"Modern rock worship" is one that a local church uses on its signs. I actually do security for this church. It is, at best, a supplemental reason to go to a church.

"There will be a free meal at the end."  The first time I heard this was during my time at the Salvation Army. It was at a soup kitchen for the poor. Even then, I wondered "is this ethical?" I rationalized that it was. I was a bastard.

"We have young people." Seriously. I've had people try to woo me to their churches with this. 

 


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There is this HUGE baptist

There is this HUGE baptist church out by me that drives a van around on Sunday mornings to pick kids up and take them to church.  They send out flyers to everyone to let them know this service is available to any lazy ass parents that want free babysitting on Sunday mornings.

 


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Free donut day.

Free donut day.


aiia
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Bingo

Bingo


zarathustra
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There used to be a hare

There used to be a hare krisna temple which doubled as a low-end vegetarian restaurant.  On sundays they offered a buffet for $6 -- or free if you sat through their lecture. 

There are no theists on operating tables.

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I've seen church signs with

I've seen church signs with stuff like, "God is real no matter how you feel" and the guilt-provoking ones like "Jesus died for you - What have you done?".


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Honestly, I believe church

Honestly, I believe church is a seperate entity to religion. The purpose of a church has evolved in America. In the earliest of times, church was the social center, it was a central source of interaction when early colonial, and pioneer life. It allowed people spread out over a large area to come to one point to buy, sell, exchange information, look for a mate, etc... Now a days its more a business than anything else. They provide daycare, schools, counceling, summer camps, dating service, my wife's church even offers income tax preparation help.

Church is one of the last communities that the average person can interact with in this country.

Is this good, or bad?? I don't know. Is it creation divine, absolutely not!  

 

Man is the only animal in all of nature that cannot accept its own mortality.


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BBQ

One Church of Christ group that worked a college I went to used to invite people to a big picnic with barbecue and vollyball.  They used the tactic that's common at colleges, so I've read, of getting their hottest-looking young members to ask people of the other gender individually to come to the picnic (and I'm sure it was just an oversight that they didn't mention the integral Bible study). 

I knew soooo many guys who idiotically assumed that the hot Christian chick was asking them on a date, and they were actually surprised at the picnic when the vollyball stopped and the Bibles were whipped out.

This same group also used to recruit Asian (Bhuddist) exchange students by exploiting their fears after explaining to them in detail  about the devil and Hell.

"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert


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All are welcome!

The idea that "All are welcome!"

 Of course, if you:

are living with your girlfriend or boyfriend, are gay, are a democrat, like to gambler, like a drink of alcohol, swear etc....

 You will change as you become more like Christ!  Laughing


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Religious Institutions have

Religious Institutions have to go to drastic measures now to get people to listen to a whole bunch of talking without any evidence to support it. I remember going for the Candy, Juice, and Donuts as a child. It's such a shame that they have to stoop so low for mindless followers...

 

Slimm,

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"When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called Insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion." - Robert M. Pirsig,


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jce wrote: There is this

jce wrote:

There is this HUGE baptist church out by me that drives a van around on Sunday mornings to pick kids up and take them to church. They send out flyers to everyone to let them know this service is available to any lazy ass parents that want free babysitting on Sunday mornings.

 

I bet all the pedophiles scrambled to get vans. 

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Those church social

Those church social groups...

I had moved to a mining town 600km from my home to teach. My calsses were nightmarish (I still wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming I am still teaching there) and I was separated from my friends by a 6-hour drive. I was close to breaking point.

 One of my fellow teachers (who had already been out there for a few years) was quite friendly and we started hanging out a bit. He invited me to go along a a barbeque with his friends. I soon discovered it was a church group. The people there were incredibly happy and friendly. They were exactly what I wanted to be a part of at that point in my life. I was almost prepared to give up my hard-fought individuality and freedom of thought to be one of them.

I'm pretty sure that's the way cults work. Find someone at a point of unhappiness and low-self esteem then show them how happy and loved they will be as part of your group.

A few months later I quit teaching, moved back to the city and re-trained for a new career. I am now happy and didn't need to hand over my brain to achieve it.

Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!


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When I started college, my

When I started college, my first instinct was to join a frat! After years of watching animal house, I thought frats were the greatest thing on earth. Then I joined one, and "paid" for a bunch of friends I had nothing no common interest with besides drinking! The reason I bring this up, is the direct parallel with the church concept. Attending a church, to me, is almost the same concept. You are paying for friends. Its a easy way of creating a social network, without atually having to go out and meet people.

Man is the only animal in all of nature that cannot accept its own mortality.


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Here at my university there

Here at my university there is a Christian group called "The Salt Company" every fall they have a BBQ but they do so with out mentioning usually even the name of the group let alone that they are christian (they are the most evangdical group on campus also the biggest nutters). I always thought it was so wrong for them to not even mention their name let alone not say its a christian group.

 

Last year their sign was a cube that asked you to come to a BBQ, in a talk bubble.  Man i do not like those guysYell


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jce wrote: There is this

jce wrote:

There is this HUGE baptist church out by me that drives a van around on Sunday mornings to pick kids up and take them to church.  They send out flyers to everyone to let them know this service is available to any lazy ass parents that want free babysitting on Sunday mornings.

There is the same thing here were I live, except they found out the guy driving the van was a convicted child molester.

Apparently he likes sharing his love for Jesus with the little children.

 My husband and I were invited to a rock concert.  Turned out it was a christian rock concert.  Luckily we found out before we went.

I like my rock evil and without Jesus.

If humanity were a sitcom we'd be canceled!


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zarathustra wrote: There

zarathustra wrote:
There used to be a hare krisna temple which doubled as a low-end vegetarian restaurant.  On sundays they offered a buffet for $6 -- or free if you sat through their lecture. 

Are you from Philly? I know there used to be a temple there that did the same thing!

If god takes life he's an indian giver


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agree

Quote:
I'm pretty sure that's the way cults work. Find someone at a point of unhappiness and low-self esteem then show them how happy and loved they will be as part of your group.

...and not just find someone unhappy, Paranoid Agnostic, sometimes they can use suggestion to create a condition of unhappiness or low self-esteem that wasn't there before.

Scientologists are probably the best at this with their "free stress test" (i.e. lie detector test) and personality assessments that they offer in public places and on college campuses.  Somehow these tests always discover (surprise surprise) that you're unhappy and in immediate need of some Dianetic treatment.

But even the most elementary techniques that you see guys like Kirk and Ray using in their Way of the Master videos reflect this pattern: ask somebody where they're going when they die or if they've ever told a lie, create the awareness in the victim that s/he has "sinned" and is in need of atonement, then offer the solution to the problem that you just created. 

The same technique you see on infomercials every day. 

"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert


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There is a church near me

There is a church near me that has a GIANT Jesus statue coming out of a large pond. I mean this Jesus is four stories high. There is a sign out front in huge flashing letters that reminds us the statue guy wants us to go there. When I first saw it, I thought it might be a character from Godzilla. It was all very frightening but not as frightening as what was said inside.

"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer


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AiiA

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Bingo

 

The Free donut day thing I said? 

If so, thanks.


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There are a number of

There are a number of mega-churches where I live. They use signs on metro buses and tv spots to advertise:

- Their own rock band (They make "Stryper" look talented).

- An espresso stand inside the church

- They project an image of excitement, love and a family like atmosphere.  As always w/ christianity, it's a good lesson in Marketing 101.

Churches use the same attractions that their own (and most) religious ideologies (and successful marketing campaigns) use...an appeal to basic human needs.  

Maslow's heirarchy of needs:

- Self actualization: (Sense of purpose/fulfillment)

- Self esteem: (You are no longer a wicked & debased animal once you see things our way)

- Love: This gets them in the door far quicker than eternal torture and damnation.

- Safety: A way to avoid the aforementioned torture and damnation(Fear).  Every mythology in history has had its method(s) to avoid our own mortality.

- Physiological: Food, shelter, clothing.  Bring on the church potluck, the bake sale, soup kitchen, etc.

Many psychologists have added Beliefs/Spirituality to these basic human needs.

You can pretty much go right down the list and check off each of these.  It's no wonder that all of the despots of history have themselves also appealed to these needs to gain control of humans.  They either admire religion's success at using them (eg, Hitler), partner themselves w/ religious belief (The most common as Chiefs/Shamans, Kings/Priests have worked w/ one another for thousands of years) or have seen religious control as a competitor or adversary to their own appeals for control (eg, Stalin).

Most individual churches pretty much do the same things.

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell


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American Atheist

American Atheist wrote:

AiiA wrote:
Bingo

 

The Free donut day thing I said? 

If so, thanks.

I thought he/she was going for legalized gambling. B-36....G-21...Bingo !

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell


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After all this talk of

After all this talk of bar-b-que and doughnuts, it seems that xians buy converts with food.

Now I like bar-b-que as well as the next person, but I'd go without a meal before I'd sit through services to get it.

 

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Susan wrote: After all

Susan wrote:

After all this talk of bar-b-que and doughnuts, it seems that xians buy converts with food.

Now I like bar-b-que as well as the next person, but I'd go without a meal before I'd sit through services to get it.

 

 

Mmmm...donuts.

 


BenfromCanada
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Susan wrote: After all

Susan wrote:

After all this talk of bar-b-que and doughnuts, it seems that xians buy converts with food.

Now I like bar-b-que as well as the next person, but I'd go without a meal before I'd sit through services to get it.

 

You're not the target audience, assuming you have enough money to buy food. The desperate are easy converts for religion, and who's more desperate than someone who needs free food from a soup kitchen or barbecue or some such?


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BenfromCanada wrote: Susan

BenfromCanada wrote:
Susan wrote:

After all this talk of bar-b-que and doughnuts, it seems that xians buy converts with food.

Now I like bar-b-que as well as the next person, but I'd go without a meal before I'd sit through services to get it.

You're not the target audience, assuming you have enough money to buy food. The desperate are easy converts for religion, and who's more desperate than someone who needs free food from a soup kitchen or barbecue or some such?

I think you're right, Ben.  Most of the soup kitchens I'm familiar with in my area are run by churches.

Although I do not know first hand, I would suspect that the homeless have to sit through, at the very least, prayers.

Even the local food bank, even though it doesn't tout religion, is made up of 550 member agencies most of which are churches.  I would suspect a pamphlet or two makes it into the grocery bags. 

No doubt the message is something to the effect of "If you're hungry, god will provide." 

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BenfromCanada
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Susan wrote: BenfromCanada

Susan wrote:
BenfromCanada wrote:
Susan wrote:

After all this talk of bar-b-que and doughnuts, it seems that xians buy converts with food.

Now I like bar-b-que as well as the next person, but I'd go without a meal before I'd sit through services to get it.

You're not the target audience, assuming you have enough money to buy food. The desperate are easy converts for religion, and who's more desperate than someone who needs free food from a soup kitchen or barbecue or some such?

I think you're right, Ben. Most of the soup kitchens I'm familiar with in my area are run by churches.

Although I do not know first hand, I would suspect that the homeless have to sit through, at the very least, prayers.

Even the local food bank, even though it doesn't tout religion, is made up of 550 member agencies most of which are churches. I would suspect a pamphlet or two makes it into the grocery bags.

No doubt the message is something to the effect of "If you're hungry, god will provide."

Yeah. It's truly sickening. I'm ashamed to have once been a part of it. I mean, they did good work...but it was slimy and manipulative.


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Sex.    Not kidding

Sex. 

 

Not kidding either. The local J.W. crew sends out two 20something year old girls to trawl the neighbourhood in the evenings, and two 20something year old guys to trawl the neighbourhood during the day. I know, because I work from home and unfortunately for them I don't mind talking theology and reading excerpts from the watchtower out loud.

 

Eventually they get bored, and go away. I wonder why I haven't been blacklisted yet... 

Question the religious on their articles of faith long enough and they will want to burn your house down. Faith teaches poor debating skills.