how do you handle family praying?
Posted on: January 10, 2007 - 2:45am
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how do you handle family praying?
how do the other atheist here handle being involved in prayer when it is done by there family? for example when my family is together during thanksgiving they always join in a circle and hold hands and pray, every time they do this I just can't stand it. how do y'all hand things like this?
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I don't pray.
I sit there politely watching them do their thing. If they invite me to hold hands, I tell them I'll be happy to give each of them a big hug later, but I'm not going to join in the prayer.
Yeah, it's not the most comfortable thing, but after a while, they gave up trying. It gets a lot easier after the first few times.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
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I have the same problem, which is compounded by the fact that I haven't told my family that I'm an atheist and they're all very religious. I refuse to pray, I just wait quietly for them to finish. That's about all I can do without creating a fight that isn't worth it to me.
It all depends on your situation. I have no problem advocating atheism to friends, strangers, or whoever will listen, but when family is involved it's just too personal. If you don't feel that you can take up the cause with your family, you may have to ignore it the best you can. The worst that can happen is you may look a little silly.
It's only the fairy tales they believe.
At ImmaculateDeception's aunts' wedding, when the priest/bishop/man in robe type guy asked us all to lower our heads and join him in prayer, we just looked all around and at eachother and stifled our laughter. But then I caught his cousin's eye and the laughter ALMOST burst forth at the fact that we were the only 3 there not praying(or at least making an appearance to). Noone could see, and I felt SUPER silly standing there anyway. I guess... when your family can actually see you, my way doesn't work....
No way was I going to pray at a wedding without an open bar.
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
Well lucky for me my family isnt really all that religious...except for funerals...go figure.
But when we (my 14 claims atheism) are in a praying situation, I just remind her to stay quiet, and let them have their prayer..."real christians" would never know anyway.
I just came out to my father a few weeks ago. Im sure when he said he would love me no matter what, he ment it, so I had little (not no) fear of being disowned. I ranted at him like he rants at me about politics...it was almost funny. I hope he made the connection to my reluctence to participate verbally in the prayer to see my brother off. I hope he did NOT remember that part about god not hearing prayers if there is an unbeliever among you.
We must favor verifiable evidence over private feeling. Otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would obscure the truth.
~ Richard Dawkins
Yea, the main thing is to just sit there quietly and let them go ahead with their prayers.
I also suggest that you try and "come out of the closet" with your family. They are your family and should accept the choice that you've made. I would rather my parents be mad at me for a few months than to live a lie.
A fun idea to try is to ask to say grace next thanksgiving and thank science for developing the technology to make the meal possible
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
At my family's thanksgiving with 33 of my extended family, I held their hands, but I did not bow my head to an imaginary being, nor did I utter any words.
Additionally, I must ask, DO CHRISTIANS EVEN KNOW WHAT "AMEN" IS? It's the name of an ancient Egyptian sun god.
Why not end their prayers with "Anubis" or "Osiris".
REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum
I hold hands, but I don't pray. I look up, don't close my eyes.
Now that someone has mentioned it, my family only prays over holiday dinners. This year my brother (ostensibly an atheist) led the prayer and I was thinking, "You cowardly little hypocrite, you!"
I would have turned it down, Christmas or not.
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Huh?
Amen, according to every etymology source I've ever seen, comes from the Hebrew word meaning "truth" or "it's true."
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=amen
The similarity to the English transliteration of the name of an Egyptian god is purely coincidental, as far as I know - the Hebrew word is pronounced more like "o-main."
On the other hand; it is a very telling detail about prayer...if something is really true, you don't have to force your congregation to keep repeating, "It's true! It's true!"
Smacks of propaganda techniques, dunnit?
However, I do concur with your approach - I'll join hands and keep quiet, but I won't bow my head or speak nonsense to any imaginary entity.
All of the faith and prayer in the world
All of your dumb show and circuses
You know it's a lie, it'll always be a lie
The invention of an animal who knows he's going to die
-Randy Newman
Fair enough, chaospump. I suppose I made the connection and assumed Egyptian origin. Considering that the Jews supposedly were influenced by Egyptian religion, I didn't think the word Amen was too far off from the God Amen Ra. But both Egyptian and Hebrew language are devoid of vowels in ancient texts. So I'm not sure pronunciation is that big a deal.
One might still argue that the word Amen, even if it translates to "truth" could be descended from Egyptian.
REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum
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There's no reason to object. I mean, what's going to happen? Nothing. I just sit or politely assume whatever position everyone else is. I suppose if I found myself in a mosque I'd do as they do. It just doesn't hurt anything.
Once I was asked to bless the food, though. I praised Ceres and thanked her for the food. I haven't been asked since. If I had it to do again, I'd probably thank Jesus. Less of a pain in the ass.
Some atheists seem to have almost an evangelical attitude. Like the atheist god is going to be mad at them about apostasy!
Thandarr.
Thandarr
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As for me, pretending to pray just seems dishonest, and I avoid it when ever possible.
Regardless of who asks I will not lead a prayer. I will not lend credence to this god delusion. If they want it, they can have it, but I will not validate or encourage it.
We must favor verifiable evidence over private feeling. Otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would obscure the truth.
~ Richard Dawkins
It seems dishonest to me, too. For awhile to keep the peace I was a closeted atheist, but I came out once my beliefs solidified. My brother is a coward and hypocrite. I've taken the fallout for him as well as myself because he won't say to the family, "I don't believe in god."
Of course, I'm not enthused with the rest of his beliefs, but he could at least back me up in that one area where we agree. I keep his secret from my mother and I keep my mother's secret from him. ( I won't go into that. ) Yeah, it's that kind of family.
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