Hmmm.  I guess I expected privacy because I would never pry into anything she did online.  I also expected privacy because I told her once to stay out of my Internet places. 

Once before when she was snooping, she came across a post and a poem that led her to conclude I was demon-possessed. Um, poems tend to be sort of, you know, allegorical?  And a support forum is supposed to be private.

She actually called my counselor and told him I was demon-possessed.

She crossed the line then and she's crossing it now.

Hi mom! 

Had she asked me not to pry, I would have never dreamed of it.  I guess I know better now, eh?  Gee, it took me TWO lessons.  I'm far too trusting. 

Note to self: Believe actions, not words.  Remember this and the circumstances under which it happened (painfully wrenched knee).

You'd think I would have learned by now, wouldn't you?  Part of me still trusted her.  I guess I know better now.

She must have noticed me surfing at this site at my place because my nickname is completely different from the one I use elsewhere.  There is no other way she could have found out.

As for lack of privacy: I'm figuring that out.   Ugh. I just wish my mother had minded her own business like I asked her to.

When she decided I was demon-possessed, I told her to mind her own business and to not read posts I made online because I considered them private.  That includes any forum. 

Unexpected, no; upsetting, yes.  She seems to think she's a saint, yet she had no qualms about going off on me when I most needed her help.

Today I slipped and fell, twisting my knee.  I heard an audible pop and kind of freaked.  I couldn't get up so it was lucky there was a phone nearby.

Yeah, yeah.  You can start with the "I've fallen...and I can't get up!" jokes. 

My entire family was at a funeral, so I had no one to call for help.  A friend called the paramedics for me.  I crawled outside and waited for them, but when they arrived they said there was nothing a doctor could do for me because it was the weekend and there was no access to an MRI machine.  Fuck.

I tried to put some weight on it, managed a bit and lurched inside.

When my mother arrived I was irritable because I was injured and scared.  I have chronic health problems so I'm supposed to get assistance from the state.  I've asked my mother to fill in, hoping the small amount of money she gets would offset any sense of being obligated to me.  I think she resents the fact I'm sick because it so often interferes with her plans. 

I was scared because I knew that injuring myself when she had big plans was really going to piss her off.  (Sadly, I was right. )  At the same time I wanted someone to care that I was hurt and scared.  The paramedics basically told me to go put ice on it and see a doctor on Monday.  Thanks a lot, guys. 

Yes, I was irritable.  I was scared because I knew that injuring myself was going to interfere with Mom's plans.  Also, she can't have been in a very good mood after attending the funeral of a 20-year-old girl who should have had a long, productive life.  The girl in question was my nephew's cousin, whom he called his "sister."  I declined to attend because of my long illness.  I'm just now starting to feel better after being sick since July.  Let's hope the knee isn't going to be a big issue because if it is, that's going to really suck ass.

My mother brought me a knee brace and told me my brother's stepdaughter would help me clean house.  I told her I didn't want the girl coming over to clean house because I was in no condition to give orders.  I guess I should have realized that my mother meant the stepdaughter would help me do stuff like eat, drink, use the bathroom, etc. if my knee is so bad I can't walk.

It turned out the girl can't come until Sunday, anyway, so yeah, if I can't walk I'm pretty much fucked.  (Please continue with your plans, Mom.  At this point your staying here won't do either of us any good.  I'd much rather crawl around the apartment than deal with the awkward situation we created.)

When my mother was out of the room, I tried to call county agencies to find assistance so she could go through with her plans.  When she figured out what I was doing, it pissed her off.   

 I'm going to guess she was already feeling guilty about leaving as well as annoyed that I had fallen and hurt myself at such an awkward time.  I didn't plan it.  Honest.

She launched into a tirade, telling me what an awful person I am.  I'm hateful and mean all the time.  I'm never nice to her.  I'm always mean.  She seems to think I think she's evil.  I don't think she's evil. And the truth is I love her despite the issues I'm trying to work through. 

It's just I need to vent sometimes to people who realize, as I do, that it can be harmful to raise children in a fundamentalist Christian environment.  In many ways, the parents are just as trapped as the children, although I do admit to wishing she had been the one to find her way out so that I hadn't been saddled with the responsibility.  

It's hard to lose your world view.  If I really hated my mother I'd harass her about her religion constantly.  But I realize that she's too old and set in her ways to change, so I leave it be.  The only flak she gets is here at RRS, where it wasn't supposed to hurt her.

Doesn't she realize I bitch here so that I don't explode one day and hurt her feelings the way she hurt mine today?  I can't change the way I feel about what religion has done to me and to our family.  Religion is harmful, divisive and dangerous.  What happened today proves it once again. 

Of course, she will never even consider that possibility, so in order to keep the peace I have to keep my mouth shut. 

Again, Mom: don't you realize I have to vent somewhere?   I can't talk about these things with you because you have always refused to listen.  I have to talk about them somewhere. I do it here so you don't get hurt.  But you had to go and break an agreement and see what I didn't want you to see.  You got hurt.  And, quite honestly, it's your own damn fault. 

I love you, but I can't trust you.  I love you, but religion has made you sick.  I've been learning to love you the way you are, but it's been hard because you do not listen to me.  You will never listen to me because religion is more important to you than I am and it always will be. 

Yeah.  This only works if I totally cut off communication, which I had to do once.  I don't want to do it again, but if I have to, I will. 

My mother does not respect any boundaries I try to lay down. She never has.  Yet she complains that people are always so secretive around her.  Mom, shouldn't that give you a clue?  You say you don't interfere.  Bullshit.  You interfere like crazy.  You don't know where you stop and I begin.  You don't respect my personhood.  

If I try to set boundaries, you pull the martyr routine like you did today: "You hate me!  You don't love me!  You think I'm evil!  99% of the people in the world would love to have someone like me as their mother!  You don't love me!  You hate me!  You think I'm evil!"

Frankly, Mom, I'm sick of your bullshit martyr routine. Yeah, I'm not perfect.  But I sure as hell know you aren't, either.  That's the part you seem to miss.  Did it ever occur to you that I wasn't "being nice" because I was in pain and scared?  Having a throbbing knee and worrying about how you're going to make it to the bathroom the next couple of days can make a person rather irritable.  I'm human.  That's the thing about religion.  It doesn't allow you to accept that people are human.  I'm still having problems with this even after escaping, so I know you must be.

 Now that I've seen the martyr routine a few times I know what to expect.  It doesn't hurt me as much as it used to.  It just confirms to me that you resent me.  You resent the fact I'm sick and today you resented the fact I had hurt my knee.

I wish I could take this burden away from you because we would both be so much happier.  It would be easier for us to love one another from a distance.

Well,

It depends upon where you live, if you have your own computer or if you are sharing one.

If you are living in your parent's home and are under age or any age unfortunatly the owner of the house, like it or not, sets the rules. It would be nice if they would respect your privacy in that context, but the fact is they dont have to.

If you are an adult using your own computer living in your own place and they do that, then it can even become a potential crime depending on the curcumstances.

How I would feel myself is that IT WOULD SUCK. But if economics and age make it impossible for one to live anywhere else then unless you want to live in the street, you'll have to put up with it untill you can move out.

Thats my blunt opinion. Not knowing the details of your particular situtation I cant assess this other than to say it sucks that they wont respect your privacy. But what other options do you have?

In any case I think you dont need to cause WW3 and do realize that their lack of respect doesnt mean you have to make their hangups your problem. Just realize that there is a future ahead where you will at some point be able to remove yourself from prying eyes. Without knowing your situation that is the best I can tell you at this point. 

I think what you can do is appeal to them telling them that just because you have these differances doesnt mean you dont love them and doesnt mean you want to barbaque kittens or belong to a satanic cult and howel at the moon.

You dont have to react negitively or "get even" or "rebel" and you dont need to start a war over this. Your privacy is important. But they will not back off if you react with yelling or arguing. 

I dont know what the solution is because I am not you. Only you can determine the best course for you. Just let them know that you love them and you are not a bad person simply because you dont share the same beliefs. 

Sounds like you dont like the position you are in. But dont compound it with loud confrontation.

I know how you feel. Luckily my mom isn't computer savy enough to do that. She does go through all my stuff and has even opened my mail.

I have my own place and my own computer.  Please explain how it could be a potential crime.  I'm interested.

Due to my health issues I sometimes need financial support, but buying a van and living on the street is actually beginning to look attractive.  And no, I'm not kidding.

Trying to go it alone the best I can.  When I run out of money, I'll sell or give away everything I own, buy a van and head for someplace where she won't find me. 

I didn't.  She did.  She came into my home when I was injured and started WWIII.  She started it.  I'll end it.  This has gone on long enough.

It never has been my problem.  My only mistake was letting her back into my life when I had to have surgery. I was weak and alone.  I should never have trusted her again.  I knew what she was.

I thought she might try to change, but it's apparent she hasn't.

My situation is this: This county sucks ass.  My mother is a religiously insane peeping tom. 

Yeah, I'm more angry than I was yesterday.  Yesterday I was simply shocked that she would pull something like that in my house.  I should have kicked her out.

This doesn't work, apparently.  I have tried to bridge the rift.  I thought our relationship was getting better.  Then I find out little Miss Can't-Mind-Her-Own-Goddamn-Business won't leave me the fuck alone.  There is something really scary about a mother who stalks her own grown daughter.  It's sick.

 The last time I kicked her out of my life she tried to get me committed to a mental institution.  I'm not fucking kidding.  Can you believe I went and trusted her again????  God, I am so fucking stupid.  She is not to be trusted.

It's my right to tell her to fuck off.  This had become an abusive relationship where I keep going back to the abuser because I don't want to believe she is as fucked up as she obviously is.

It's way past that, dude.  This has gone on long enough.  I won't let her hurt me again.

I think you should change your signature to "Hi mom! " just to piss her off.

It's only a crime if she uses your computer to do this. I assume she's sitting at home on her computer with Google.

This situation sucks. Your nosey Mom should realize your an adult living YOUR life and you're not supposed to live for her. Unfortunatly though you have to consider that anyone could stumble upon this thread - or any one in general. Heck, for all you know I could be your neighbor, your stalker ex, or the cashier that rung up your Monistat-7 last month.

Maybe this isn't the place to specifically vent. Perhaps you could start a LiveJornal or something else only visable to specific users for the super-personal things. I know it sucks and personally I value the opinion of people on here and I don't really like having to walk such a fine line myself but that's how it is.

I generally don't go posting my name too many places, and my immediate family is quite aware of my involvement here but much of my extended family is probably not.  However, if they wanted they could easily look me up by name on Myspace which would easily lead them here.  Tho they may not correlate the fact that not only am I member but the fact that I host the RRS network sites ;p

Since i don't post anything i wouldn't say in real life, it doesn't matter if my family reads this.

Wow, 7 posts and you're already acting like a dick.   

The Freethinking Anonymous area of the forum is for atheists only

Dude, I'm 40 years old. The only reason my mother is so heavily involved in my life is I'm disabled. Now I have to go it alone as best I can.

Hmmm. So you're a theist. Enjoy your badge, dumbass. BTW, you've broken the rules by posting in the freethinker's forum. Your posts in this forum and thread will most likely be destroyed.

But before I do that, I will ask you straight out: Are you a theist? If so, why did you flaunt the rules? If not, why did you stereotype atheists?

Shouldn't you be PROUD of your beliefs, smartass? So out with it: What do you believe?  Regardless, you're still a dick.

This shows how ignorant you are. The only thing atheists have in common is a lack of belief in god. For example, most of the atheists here are libertarians. I lean liberal, but there are also some Objectivists, socialists, etc. Objectivists and socialists couldn't be more at odds on political issues.

Are you really that ignorant?

You are making what I believe is called a category error: "relationship" is a word we use to describe a situation or concept; it is not a physical thing like a butterfly or Mt Vesuvius, nor is it mathematics. Since you can't bite a relationship, or draw up a lemma-including proof of one, you will have a hard time using the word "prove" in dealing with it.

But yes, you're right: feelings are due to neurotransmitters and the like. What of it?

Again, bad argument. "Proof" does not apply for a subjective state. It's like asking someone to "prove" they "like" candy. I may be wrong on this, but I think that in general subjective beliefs cannot be analyzed with objective metrics.

What's funny is that you answered this last question right below. I'll bold it in your words:

We fear authority because we're taught to fear authority by our parents as we grow up: those in charge punish us for "bad" behaviour. The difference between us and you seems to be that we gained the ability to control ourselves without the threat of eternal torture hanging over our heads.

Please go ask a biology teacher this question; I'll let them have the fun.

So is this what you tell yourself makes it okay to go out in public and act like an angry 15 year old? ARE you an angry 15 year old?

Now let me turn this around on you: what is it about your upbringing that makes you need to feel special? Why does the idea that humanity was created specially by a god give you the warm and fuzzies? Is it your upbringing? Are you so insecure about your own life that you wouldn't know how to live (or what to think) without feeling like someone was taking care of you? Are you so infantile and scared of the world that you are comforted by the idea of someone always watching your every move?

Wow, and you make fun of US for being conditioned...

You can probably assume that you relative that is spying is either doing it out of love, or control issues.

Does your family know your believes and excepts them, or are they waiting for you to grow out of this "phase" and return to the flock?

I would propale recommend distancing your self from them narotic influences in your life.

Kill them and eat their bodies to gain their power.

I suspect why many (including Iruka's mom, tho correct me if I am wrong) end up doing this kind of cloak and dagger spying is they are trying to find an angle to reconvert/convert the person involved (in this case, Iruka).  In some ways I can't blame them completely.  Many of these people are very much brainwashed.  They truly believe that those who don't believe (or worse, actively rebel and try to end religion) are truly going to hell.  We have im sure all seen many instances where parents do extraordinary things for their kids (such as many will proclaim they would take a bullet for their kids).  In this mindset, they are trying to do everything they can to save the souls of their kids.  

    Now true, the parents who believe this are delusional and misled.  However, this is what religion does to people.  They turn people into people who are scared shitless that their loved ones (or themselves) are going to burn.