Stupidest argument for the existence of god you have heard?
Posted on: September 22, 2007 - 3:11pm
Offline
Stupidest argument for the existence of god you have heard?
i've been wondering about the expereinces of arugments given to other atheists here so i thought i'd ask this question.
What is the stupidest argument for god that you have heard? I'd prefer to leave TAG out of it.
Here is mine from TBN:
tbn wrote:
For the atheist and agnostics listening to our show, can you control the movement of the planets? No? Well then there must be a god.
- Login to post comments
"The story of Jesus is highly unlikely. So highly unlikely as to be impossible. This is how we know it happened. Nobody would write it and claim it to be true unless it had actually happened, so we know that it is true precisely because it is so unbelievable."
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
A tie between "since we can discuss God, God must exist" and Pascal's wager.
The "Problem of Induction" or any of the a priori arguments outlined by Dawkins.
I have a few.
"When I am speeding, I suddenly get this feeling like I need to slow down. I slow down, and then lo and behond, I pass a cop. Therefore god."
"I can't stand the idea of there being no afterlife, therefore there is an afterlife, therefore god."
One I heard on infidel guy radio was basically to this effect: our bodies have electricity in them, but we don't get shocked by ourselves in the shower. Therefore god.
"Everything everyone believes is true. I believe in god so there is a god. You believe there is no god so there is no god. Therefore everything. Therefore god"
"If there is no god, how can you even talk about god? Therefore god."
Your resident OTD/S, Christina
A good scientist will always change her mind if new evidence is presented which gives her sufficient reason to change it.
www.ziztur.com
Tricky one between the jewish/christian bible and the koran.
Specially the first 3 commandments of the 10 true we made god in our image bollcoks
Do you know what theologian said this?
"How do you explain christians letting themselves get thrown to the lions?"
"How do think a religion started by 12 fishermen could have lasted for 2,000 years?"
"People have always had religion."
Okay, my blood pressure's rising, I better stop.
There are no theists on operating tables.
My favorite one is "People speaking in babble and running around a church is proof of god.
nah. I can't remember. Someone said a bastardized version of it here a few months ago, but I can't remember who. I originally heard this at a revival when I was a teenager. Just some preacher.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
I still am in disbelief that he said it. I keep thinking "i fucking must of been a) sleep or b) stoned off something(no i'm not a stoner,yet)
Oh, this one's pretty good, though it's actually a refutation of evolution, not a direct argument for "god." Does anybody else remember when this guy was on the forum? He kept saying "god is the animating force, god is the animating force." Well, it's even more hilarious hearing him say this stuff out loud. Funny that Frank "I'll punch you over the internets" Walton should align himself with this guy, considering they seem to worship different "gods." I guess they take what they can get.
"It makes me feel good."
"Everyone at my church believes."
Yes, I've heard both of these.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
I'm surprised nobody mentioned a fairly common theme among the hit-and-run trolls - the Arguement From The Movie Anchorman:
I'm pretty sure everyone here has seen that one at least once (the arguement, not the movie. Tho' it was a pretty good film. )
Good night, funny man, and thanks for the laughter.
"Because Ray Comfort says so."
I don't know what can compete with this one, To quote a fucktard? i mean come on.
"God couldn't just be imagined" I just walked away from the person after that.
"The fact that I'm alive today proves that there is a god."
(Because she was depressed for a while and thought idly of suicide.)
**Looks around**
Nope, no God.
Persecution of christians proves god.
Hell, there's a good one from the Tao te Ching (forgot which chapter). Essentially, it says that people would not laugh at the Tao unless it was true.
Look at my blog! It's awesome!
I'm also on this Twitter thing
"you can't disprove god, therefore god exits"
"god talks to me"
"god changed my life"
"Satan exists therefore god exists"
"look around you whole created all this?"
"The bible proves god"
"the koran proves god"
"the torah proves god"
"jesus existed as per the bible therefore god exists"
"no one would lie about the bible, therefore it is all true and god exists"
oh so many more....and it just gets dumber.
This isn't exactly a stupid argument for God, but it's nonetheless a stupid argument from a theist.
You know how theists love to say Hitler was an atheist, despite the documented historical fact that he identified himself as Catholic and spoke very highly of Christianity on multiple occasions? Well, when pressed for evidence of Hitler's atheism, this dumbass said, "He killed several million people, and only a godless atheist would do that."
It was kind of like a no true Scotsman argument in reverse. I don't know if there's a name for that, but if not, I propose we call it the "only an Irishman" fallacy.
We watch "Way of the Master" so you don't have to.
Visit us on MySpace!
C.S. Lewis's Trilemma :
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronising nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. ... Now it seems to me obvious that He was neither a lunatic nor a fiend: and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is God." [6]
As I child I enjoyed the Narnia stories so when I began to question my Catholic upbringing I figured I'd give "Mere Christianity" a shot to balance the Dawikins (whose response to the trilemma is "there is a forth option - he could have been honestly mistaken) I was reading - I remember actually thinking at the age of 12 or 13, "This is supposed to convince me that Jesus is God? This must be a Modest Proposal type satire" it was so silly it had the opposite effect on me .
My second runner up for spewing nonsense is Descartes - whos ontological arguments basically come down belief in god through faith in grammar
Technically faith is just the opposite of paranoia - the irrational belief that someone is out to help you ~ The Vandingo
Here's a typical argument from a theist:
"The Big Bang says that the universe came from nothing. Therefore, God did it."
Atheist asks "But what did God create the universe out of if he had to create it out of nothing?"
Theist: It's one of those mysteries about God. You just have to have faith.
Atheist asks: But that's not proof that God exists. What did God do before he created the universe, and for how long? Who created God?
Theist: God is eternal. He exists outside of time (how that's possible...I don't know).
Atheist: But if God can just pop into existence, why can't the universe?
Theist: God has always been around
(To illustrate this, I will draw a diagram:
<-------------------------[Time]-------------->
The line extends forever in both directions, including to the left. If God has existed forever, there is an infinite number of "moments" [in replace of time...I don't know what to call the "-"] before time, meaning we will never be created because it extends backwards forever. However, if the universe is the result of a singularity, it is much more plausable that time began at that exact moment. And who knows, maybe we are living in an infinite regression (universe is born, dies, [big bang, then big rip/big crunch], rinse and repeat forever. )
Someone actually told me that instead of a line, think of God as a circle, and time as a circle inside that circle.
Wouldn't that mean that God has absolutely no interaction with time at all? How is "the end times" supposed to come if he exists outside of "time." I guess that "end times" will never come.
(Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm just tired)
How can I pick a favorite? I've heard some really choice ones. I did hear this one today and it made me chuckle...God makes sense of the historical facts concerning the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus
Blog
The stupidest argument I've heard comes from my mom. She said "Flowers are so complicated that only God could've made them. It couldn't happen by 'chance.' "
Also, today a Christian told me that Eve wasn't made from Adam's rib.
Music proves God is real because long before people started playing guitar angels were playing the harp.
Jen, everyone knows Eve was made when Chuck Norris round-kicked Adam in the ribs.
*something terrible happens in the news*
Christian: "Well... it's just another sign of the end times." (Shakes head at the heathen foolishness, then changes the channel back to Dr. Phil).
A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.
He also argued for the existence of God through math being so perfect that man could not have come up with it thjrough his finite mind, therefore, an all-knowing non-decieving entity must have put it in the mind of man. He then usesw the same arguement for the idea of God being beyond the capability of man's finite mind.
My runner up came from Mormon who said "Look at that tree. It could not have possibly created itself." That was the arguement.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
The stupidest that I've heard from a friend:
"You don't see air either, but you still know it's there!"
everyone said the titanic was unsinkable. that even god couldn't sink it. well he finally got so sick of hearing people say that that he sunk it. (no, i'm not kidding - and yes, it was an adult that said this)
i've also heard the time cicle argument knight mentioned.
The one about not being able to see love is just as stupid.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
I don't know if this one applies, but I must let it out. I heard it from a guy in AOL:
"If you don't believe in the existence of the soul, then what happens when we die?"
To this I said, you just die, or something like that. Then he said:
"Then explain what Einstein meant with E=mc*2. Where does all the energy in your body go?"
I kid you not. He tried to explain the soul using an equation for thermonuclear fusion. I didn't mention it before because it was an argument for the existence of the soul, but the argument is so stupid, it has to be shared.
By the way, here is a list of reasons why God exists:
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm
The empty tomb argument. Only a fool would believe that one.
You can easily neutralize the empty tomb argument with the empty plate argument.
"Haven't you ever opened your refrigerator and found an empty plate? Isn't that evidence that an elf is inside the refrigerator,waiting for you to close the door, so he can eat your food?"
There.
I came here to post the banana guy but the OP found something worse.
Yahweh: Kind of a Dick
The "consistency of the Bible" argument.
I think this one mostly originates from Josh McDowell. Nobody who actually reads and understands the Bible would ever claim that it's consistent.
"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert
"My preacher proved it."
"Because He's in heaven."
I've got to go with the banana garbage... that was the dumbest BS I've ever seen... out of hundreds of fruits and vegetables... banana fit hand; therefore god
The ontological argument is somewhere at the top of the list. Time for some youtube whoring (it's only 30 seconds, so watch it):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4oaPyT1RsJE
When I wrote my previous post, I didn't realize TAG and the "problem of induction" described the same argument. Why didn't anyone call me on it?
Constellations. The constellations look like pictures, therefore God.
"there's just got to be a god"
"if there is no god then how are we here?"
Hamby if you care i found the oringinator, i think, of this stupid quote.
here it is in its oringal form
"And the Son of God died; it is by all means to be believed, because it is absurd. And he was buried and rose again; the fact is certain because it is impossible."
Tertullian (150-225), De Carne Christi
from todangst's site : http://www.candleinthedark.com/faith.html
[edit] added source
i saw a bumper sticker that i think would be considered a rhetorical argument for believeing in jesus "Real men love jesus"
Only atheists are allowed to post here
Freethinking Anonymous
Only atheists are allowed to post here
Freethinking Anonymous
Ooops, missed replying to this one the first time it went around.
Strangely, I think I find the problem of induction to be the most convincing argument for the possible existence of a god. That is to say, not very convincing, but at least not based on a logical fallacy or factual error.
"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert
Van Til and his gremlins are defending Yahweh in particular, though, so it's at least a non sequitur to say a basis for induction must assume their religious claims, no? Plus, since we have no example of a cosmos without rules, and no particular evidence for a god, there's no basis to say where physical principles come from, or even to say they can possibly not exist save for xyz. Wait, I've heard the argument made both for the "uniformity" of nature, and the basis of logic -- the whole thing is very muddy for me. What are you referring to being convincing?