Non-religious book on infant death recovery

DoubtingThomas
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Non-religious book on infant death recovery

For anyone who has lost an infant, for any reason, here is a non-religious book on the topic. Good reading for friends and family to understand how to help the parents.

"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart (Surviving the Death of Your Baby)" - Deborah L. Davis, PhD, updated version, 271 pages.

It is very detailed on what emotional and physical situations arise for the mother and how to recover. One chapter is dedicated to men. Two pages cover "Spirituality & Religion". The author writes 3 small paragraphs that are generic in nature, the rest are comments by women she interviewed.

The main means of recovery she discusses is talk with professionals and join a support group. In a list of where support groups can be found, churches is listed at the end. There is a list of other publishers and non-profit organizations at the end. Both government and private. Some organizations are non-denominational.

An excerpt: "Parental bereavement is a social and emotional experience, to be sure. But also a biological experience. Whether you subscribe to the Book of Genesis or Darwin, it is a fact that we have urges to be fruitful and multiply."

 

"What the world needs is an enema." Jack Nicholson, "Batman"


Susan
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DoubtingThomas

DoubtingThomas wrote:

Whether you subscribe to the Book of Genesis or Darwin, it is a fact that we have urges to be fruitful and multiply."

Interesting quote. 

However, I must disagree as I have never had that urge and I suspect that there are many others that never wanted children.

Of course, considering the context of this book and those who would purchase it, that isn't likely to be disputed.

I'm glad, though, that there is something out there to help grieving parents that doesn't go one and on about "god's will" or "we can never know the reasons god took your child".

 

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DoubtingThomas
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Susan

Susan wrote:
DoubtingThomas wrote:

Whether you subscribe to the Book of Genesis or Darwin, it is a fact that we have urges to be fruitful and multiply."

Interesting quote.

However, I must disagree as I have never had that urge and I suspect that there are many others that never wanted children.

Of course, considering the context of this book and those who would purchase it, that isn't likely to be disputed.

I'm glad, though, that there is something out there to help grieving parents that doesn't go one and on about "god's will" or "we can never know the reasons god took your child".

I thought the quote was rather strange coming from a female author. From the decline in births where women receive education about their bodies and on contraceptions, it shows how much control men have. Shows that it is the men who have the urge "to be fruitful and multiply", not the women.

The few comments the author made about using clergy/churches as a support seemed to be after thoughts and of little consequence. Was good to see that approach.

With 2 still-births and one SID death reported in the newspaper in the last month, hoping they will read the book. Since not all births/deaths make it into the paper, not sure what the infant death rate is around here. Medical care for the average person is not good here. Mostly low income and no insurance.

 

"What the world needs is an enema." Jack Nicholson, "Batman"


Susan
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DoubtingThomas

DoubtingThomas wrote:

Medical care for the average person is not good here. Mostly low income and no insurance.

That breaks my heart.  With medical technology advancing by leaps and bounds almost by the moment, it's terribly sad that not everyone has access to it.

 

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Susan

Susan wrote:
DoubtingThomas wrote:

Whether you subscribe to the Book of Genesis or Darwin, it is a fact that we have urges to be fruitful and multiply."

Interesting quote.

However, I must disagree as I have never had that urge and I suspect that there are many others that never wanted children.

Of course, considering the context of this book and those who would purchase it, that isn't likely to be disputed.

I'm glad, though, that there is something out there to help grieving parents that doesn't go one and on about "god's will" or "we can never know the reasons god took your child".

 

  I've never wanted children either.  So much so that I thought for a long time that no woman would ever want me in their life.  I mean with the knowledge that it would never happen with me why would they waste their time on me.   I am glad to know it's possible that I might find a lady isn't interested in having children.

Sounds made up...
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DoubtingThomas
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Susan wrote: That breaks

Susan wrote:

That breaks my heart. With medical technology advancing by leaps and bounds almost by the moment, it's terribly sad that not everyone has access to it.

It is a sad situation, not only here. The counties to the east and south are poorer. I wondered if the two recent still-births, and a few others in the last year, were due to lack of prenatal care. When Missouri cut back on the Medicaid coverage last year, a lot of people lost non-emergency help. It was difficult finding a physician here who would take Medicare. Too many people on it, so the docs can not make much money treating them.

The hospital is barely staying open which does not help matters. They closed their Intensive Care ward early this year and put off finishing a new Emergency Room entrance and expansion to 8 beds from 4. It was started last Fall and might get finished next year. It has always been the case that serious health problems could only be stabilized here then flown 100 miles away. They are losing money due to cut backs in payments from Medicare and Medicaid. The hospital helps the low income pay their bills, but that can not last forever.

Occasionally, there is someone asking for donations to help a specific family due to medical or natural disasters. Have not seen very many of the Churches with any form of charity activity on a regular basis. (Could be that they do not advertise.) 15 churches (within 10 miles) are listed in the newspaper every week. There are more.

The same pattern of living has not changed here as far back as I can remember (some 50+years). The teenagers without high enough intelligence, or motivation, barely graduate from HS, get married within months of graduation, and start pumping out the kids. Both parents have to work multiple jobs (farming and/or free lance work) just to barely get by. Paying for medical coverage is the last thing on their minds. The infants and children are the ones who suffer.

So far, I have not seen this book checked out. (I am at the library 3 - 5 days a week looking for new books to read.) Have to assume the parents went the religious route, or are toughing it out.

"What the world needs is an enema." Jack Nicholson, "Batman"