Brain dead
I haven't posted in a long time. Thankfully I no longer feel like there's a slight chance I might be wrong-It's so obvious to see now that god is made up. My dad is dead and mentally speaking my mom may as well be. I give up trying to change her extreme evangelical pentecostal views. Either she's in denial since she's built her whole life around god and given so much money or she's just dense from not using her brain through the years. I told her that since I'm out of the box I can clearly see the bs- she said it's time to get back in the box. When I tell her about the bibles contradictions she claims I'm wrong and the bible is infallible and congruently perfect. She believes that atheists become christian by merely reading the bible and not the other way around. She says the devil has a hold of me and is blinding me to the truth- then she got mad at me saying I never truly gave god a chance in my life. I told her that what makes me mad is when she dies she wont know how wrong she was since she'll just sleep forever. I'm at the point now where I see how judgemental and stubbornly brainwashed christians are. She's damaged goods and will never see the light- in fact my whole family is like my mom and I'm the evil one to them. My question is how is it possible that mom can read the bible daily and pray all the time and still not figure it out? She did tell me that growing up she went to a fire and brimstone church. She believes I'm gonna burn in hell forever and acts like it's all my choice, she doesn't even seem affected by this and believes god is just in torturing people forever.
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My mother died not long ago. When she first learned that I had lost my faith and came to my senses, she acted mostly fearful for me. Over time and before her death she became resentful and angry with me. I simply got to the point to where I would not even respond to her arguments for her bible and god. My silence really burned her.
I could see she even had some slight doubts that she thought she kept well hidden, but fear is difficult for almost anyone to hide.
So to answer your question, in my opinion, it's simply fear. Fear of doubting "the word" (the devil's work), which is the basics of early indoctrination. And, of course fear of god's hell. Pile stubborness on top of that and you have the perfect recipe for a follower of the flock who will stand their ground to the death, even if deep down they are hiding their ponderance that maybe the whole story may be flawed even in the slightest.
And so the film rolls on. In a christian's mind and according to the bible, we atheists are the weeds that fell to way-side when the seeds were sown. And those weeds will be pulled and burned in the fire. My point here is that they think they can see things in a light that we are blind to. They want us to see things their way to confirm their beliefs and then they can hope to discount their deeply hidden doubt. When confirmation is denied, their fear and doubt stand. They become resentful, and even hateful toward us.
There are some people you just can't reach. Lives are wasted. it's sad.
On a brighter note, you are one of the lucky who broke out of the catch 22. Congrats. Live long and prosper.
"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia
Ignorance is bliss.
My mom says, "you were born catholic, baptised catholic, raised catholic and you will die a catholic".
It's her way of hiding the truth. She is famous for sweeping stuff under the rug.
I always like to give my mom a difficult time with her contradictions such as "free will". She says we are given free will by god to do what we want, but when I mention I was baptised with out my permission or choice, she just ignorantly says, "as a parent I make that choice for you".
On another note.
I had many arguements with my mom about how religion was phoney. Other family members joined in and there are only a few on my side (95% against).
I constantly are proving them wrong but I found out that their ignorance is their life raft. They are afraid to leave it because the swim to shore is too scary.
How can we exist with out a creator? Where did we come from if there was no creator?
I always try to explain to them, "You say something can't come from nothing, but in reality I believe is that there was always something (matter and energy) which is no different than you saying there was always a creator".
One of the things I always like to point out is:
1) They can't prove their god and more than they can disprove any other gods of any other religions or the FSM.
2) Their religion is self annointing, self substaining, self prophecy, etc. Only in the bible is there "you shall have no other gods before me" and "I am the Lord, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me:"
3) Jesus was not a christian. He was a jew and the religion of "chrisitanity" comes from jewish beliefs. Such as the old testement is a book from the jewish religion.
4) Over time change of their religion is slowly taking place. In time, their religion today won't be the same (if it is still around). This is already true because they had to canonize specific stories in order to stabilize their religion. With out the canonization of the stories they wouldn't have lasted very long.
5) It's easy to say "I see the light" because you are stepping outside her box, but what other box are you stepping in to? Are you truely outside the box?
i really don't get it when christians argue that something can't come from nothing. creation from nothing is one of the fundamental pillars of christian cosmogony. they certainly believe there was nothing before their god wanted there to be something, so obviously the possibility exists in their system.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Thanks for shedding some light. It makes sense that it is fear based. Adults scaring the crap out of little kids with stories of eternal hell and their worst nightmares coming true has a powerful effect. I was forced to go to a pentecostal church 3 times a week. We were taught that every other denomination was going to hell and only the assemblys of god were right. I was taught that this world belonged to satan and his power was just about equal to gods. Mom has always drilled in my head that satan spends extra time on me than most other people. My big question growing up was how our small minority of pentecostals was the right one and all others were wrong. How could such a loving god torture his creation forever for merely incorrectly choosing the right denomination.
I was always too afraid too question any of it and was raised a bible literalist. When I hit 24 a thought popped in my head and I said "fu#$ you jesus". I didn't mean it or want to say it but I could not stop thinking that phrase. It scared the crap out of me and went on for over a year. I finally decided I was doomed to go to hell and each time I thought that phrase was gonna make my eternal punishment that much more severe. I felt it best to just ignore god and live my life without him. This caused me to become clinically depressed and anxious but I was able to question my faith.
Thanks to the internet once I investigated it, I finally started to deconvert. Now I'm 37 and my overall health is a wreck and I blame christianity. I rebelled at 17 and partied real hard til 24. The damage was done. I was like a small fish in a tank turned loose into the ocean. I deeply resent religion now and have tried to deconvert others to no success. I guess it's like an addict cant be forced to quit- they have to want it.
Just had to vent- thanks
I think a lot of it is simple compartmentalization on their part as well. The theists in my family are not what I call stupid or crazy, and the scary thing is, many of them are quite rational in most ordinary regards. But they have the uncanny ability to toss logic and reasoning right out the window when it comes to their belief system. I know that I was good at doing that in my theist days. Just simply making excuses for the inconsistencies and trying to explain things away. I also had a tendency to pick and choose out of my beliefs to make them fit my own needs at any times. It is funny that I can see the insanity in my old thinking now, but had such difficulty seeing it back then. But like many others have already alluded to on here, mine was also driven out of fear.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
Your post describes many of my feelings of frustration and resentment towards my own missionary mother.
Sometimes I think, given she's 84, that she's entitled to whatever delusion helps her along.
Then I remember her telling us kids about the lake of fire.
What you're feeling is normal.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
The most common reply I get is that "god always existed" so there was something. There is no "beginning or end" to their creator.
Matter and energy was created by god and it didn't exist until "god" said... "let there be light".
I'm tired of asking "Where did your god come from?"
When you try to get them to talk about it they say "We aren't meant to understand god. His plan will be revealed to us in time".
Take a deep breath and exhale. I've been there too.
I took so many drugs and drank a ton between 19-32. I'm shocked I'm still alive. I keep waiting for cancer to pop up and then going to the doc and telling them, "well I did this, and this, and this... when I was younger". Then the doc looks at me and says, "well fuck... no wonder why you have cancer."
Don't blame religion. That's a crutch. Get over it and move on. Believe me. I've done that already.
Don't try to convert others. Focus on you.
The key is to see the truth and start to turn your life around, including your health. If you smoke. Stop. If you drink. Stop. Anything else? Stop.
Start eating right. Get more sleep. Get into an exercise program.
Oh. And lots of meditation. I do an hour every day. Just sit quiet in your room. Try to stop thinking but don't fall asleep. Enjoy the quiet.
I think this applies to most of my family, but my sister is just freaking nuts; both religiously and politically.