HELP ME!!!
Posted on: October 12, 2011 - 5:37pm
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HELP ME!!!
I'm scared. A priest offered to pray for me the other day, and now all kinds of good things keep happening to me. I don't know what to do. I got a bonus at my job, my dick got longer, and when I walked to my car this morning there were 2 white doves sitting on my car. FREAKING DOVES! I don't know what is going to happen next. I'm hoping for a threesome with two smoking hot lesbians, or the publishers clearing house to show up. Anyway, please let me know if you have any suggestions for how I can fix this. It's just too much.
I'm affraid, plese help.
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I don't know much about this argument because of my... lack of experience, but I doubt 2 lesbs would care about you. That your penis got longer... it happens, you just have to think intensely and it does all the work.
I don't know what doves is. For anything else... ask jake
Buy a lotto ticket and send me the winnings. Just do it in Canada so there'll be no taxes.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Use your raise to hire two smoking hot lesbians for the night. If your raise wasn't large enough to cover the costs for a full night, file a complaint with god's secretary, I'm sure he will get right on that for you.
If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X
Don't be scared, I prayed to Joe Pesci for you.
Vote for Democrats to save us all from the anti-American Republican party!
Please become a Patron of Brian Sapient
Would you like a pamphlet? It will surely help with your problem:
http://www.normalbobsmith.com/free/flyers/cbf.html
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But if Joe Pesci can't take care of it for you, then you know you're in serious trouble.
now that was entertaining.
I love the A Man Named Jesus pamphlet.
So there are some broken links. Looks like the last thing updated was 2008. I wonder if it is no longer active and purchasing something would be pointless.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
He is still around. He was at the last comic con and there are some videos on youtube of him interviewing the wall st. protesters.
Here is another good one from him:
Play darts with Jesus
http://www.normalbobsmith.com/flash_jesus/flash_jesus.htm
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Hey, this is like "find the intruder":
Can I send you the losses for the next 50,000 tickets I buy with no success?
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
No, but if you're really having that much bad luck I recommend contacting the OP. He seems to be doing all right.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
I like the Star Wars window, not sure how it fits in to this strip although both are superstitions.
"Mark, John and Luke, the Farce is with you".
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
You should save your dead tickets. They are receipts for gambling losses and are tax deductible.
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I don't understand the problem...
Get him to pray for the money.
That way you can pay for the threesome with two smoking hot lesbians anytime you want, duhhh...
Oh, and those people who told you money can't buy love?
They lied...
I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."
"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks
" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris