MY DEAD DUCK!
Offline MY DEAD DUCK!
I have 5 very rare ducks from Brazil. I get to kill one this weekend. I've never done this before. They are very large ducks. Any advice?
As a Christians, we are not to torture animals. This is animal cruelity. I saw a report of one person slicing the artery, and sqeezing the head of the duck (still alive) so that the blood would drain in a bowl (I"m assumiing to cook the duck in it's blood. The Torah was against this).
Well, that's ethically wrong to put an animal in that kind of pain. I shall chop the head off very quickly. I will not cook the duck in blood. Though I have dones this with Steak (well, I've never killed an animal before, except that time I ran over that squiral).
So, after I chop the head off, and the blood drains out as it goes nuts, I shall put it in hot water and pull the feathers. But I'm concerned about gutting it. But I would like to cook the duck as a whole, and not butcher it I think. Christmas Duck in May.
The Intestines, if they break, we will have poop for duck.
Well, it will be an adventure. So while you are having your lunch tomorrow, think of me, and my dead duck. Oh what a wonderful dish it will be.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
A Rational Christian of Intelligence (rare)with a valid and sound justification for my epistemology and a logical refutation for those with logical fallacies and false worldviews upon their normative of thinking in retrospect to objective normative(s). This is only understood via the imago dei in which we all are.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
- Login to post comments
my advice is don't take out the guts at all. kill it by stabbing it a few times, especially in the stomach, and leave it for a good four hours or so. then roast it and dig in. trust me, i grew up on a farm and we did the same with chickens. bon appetit.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Advice ? Yes, if you're feeling a tinge of empathy then just imagine that you are actually your hero John Calvin and the duck is Spanish "heretic" Michael Servetus. Put your duck on trial and declare it guilty of religious crimes. Don't chop its head off though, instead tie it to a little stake and ( being sure to use green wood,) burn it alive.
This game of religious role playing should help propel you past your supposed reluctance to inflict unnecessary pain on this little duck. Just use your imagination. You do it all the time around here anyway.
Enjoy your meal.
My grandparent used to cut the heads off and just let them run around until they stopped fopping. I was traumatized of that process when I was younger. Besides that I don't really like duck, too oily...
"Don't seek these laws to understand. Only the mad can comprehend..." -- George Cosbuc
Become a vegetarian and reduce animal suffering.
Why are you having any feelings of guilt? Your fictional sky daddy certainly doesn't mind using the deaths of humans as an advertisement for his club.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Well Jean, I only have experience with chickens but I would think that ducks would be similar. Here is what I would do:
First, get a stump and an ax ready for the job.
If you hold your hand out and wave your index finger in a circle, a chicken will stare at it as if hypnotized. They are kind of dumb that way.
One the bird is caught in the spell, you can reach under it with your other hand (try it, chickens are really that dumb) and grab it by the feet. Yes, you can actually grab a sitting chicken by the feet.
Once you have it, you have to flip it upside down. Don't stop hypnotizing it until it is fully inverted.
For some reason, an upside down chicken goes into a temporary coma or something. I have no idea why but I have done this dozens of times and it really works.
So you have a comatose bird in one hand and an ax in the other. I think that you can figure out what comes next.
One thing that you should know is that you need to cut as close to the body as possible. Even then, they “run around like a chicken with it's head cut off”. Really, it takes them a good several minutes to die. Still though, the closer to the head that you cut, the more brain stem you leave and it just takes longer to die. In fact, there is one case of a chicken back in the 1950's which did not doe at all and became a circus attraction for a few years.
=
Nuke it. Not a microwave, a nuke. By the time pain signals could travel to the brain, there won't be one.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Hello,
Upon the chopping of the head quickly, I held the duck with my legs having the blood drain for a few minutes. Got the feathers off, and read to cook. Roast Duck.
You guys do know that it is impossible to cook as an atheist. All good cooks are either Christians or steal Chrisitan techniques to allow their food to be edible.
My duck shall be delicious.
Hey TG, why did the TOFU cross the road? To prove he wasn't Chicken.
What do you call a Militant Vegan? Lactose Intolerant.
Have a hamburger TG. Just not an American hamburger. Grow and slaughter the lamb yourself, well done. That's good for you and your cancer. It's the pesticides that do you in.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
A Rational Christian of Intelligence (rare)with a valid and sound justification for my epistemology and a logical refutation for those with logical fallacies and false worldviews upon their normative of thinking in retrospect to objective normative(s). This is only understood via the imago dei in which we all are.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
LOL
You are so funny. I'm an awesome cook. If I didn't hate heat I'd probably be a chef.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
"You can't write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say sometimes, so you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whip cream."--Frank Zappa
http://atheisticgod.blogspot.com/ Books on atheism
Hello,
Yes, I generally rarely if ever cook with blood. My steak via the store has blood at times and it is this that I sometimes do. My duck wanted me to thank you all for his prayers and concerns in his will.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
A Rational Christian of Intelligence (rare)with a valid and sound justification for my epistemology and a logical refutation for those with logical fallacies and false worldviews upon their normative of thinking in retrospect to objective normative(s). This is only understood via the imago dei in which we all are.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
Yet another clear example at prayer's inefficiency. If prayer were efficient you would have gotten crabs a few weeks back.
"Don't seek these laws to understand. Only the mad can comprehend..." -- George Cosbuc