Public Farting Ban
Posted on: February 4, 2011 - 8:42am
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Public Farting Ban
http://www.news24.com/Africa/News/Malawi-to-debate-public-farting-ban-20110204
Quote:
Blantyre - Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change to criminalise public farting, which a cabinet minister said had been encouraged by democracy.
"The government has a right to ensure public decency. We are entitled to introduce order in the country," justice and constitutional affairs minister George Chaponda told independent radio station Capital Radio.
"Would you like to see people farting in public anywhere?"
Since the country embraced multi-party politics 16 years ago people had felt free to fart anywhere, said Chaponda.
"It was not there during the time of dictatorship because people were afraid of the consequences. Now because of multipartism or freedom, people would like to fart anywhere, he said.
Chaponda, a key figure in President Bingu wa Mutharika's government, said that if Malawians cannot control their farting "they should go to the toilet instead of farting in public".
"Nature can be controlled... it becomes a nuisance if people fart anywhere."
Just something funny that poped up in todays news.
You Armericans are quiet split on the health care stuff going on at least you don't have to debate this.
Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.
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Muza Dai Boo, an Arab merchant, was in the marketplace one day when he felt terrible cramps. He just couldn't control himself, and let out a long loud fart.
People stared at him from all sides. Mortally embarrassed, he ran back to his house, packed his few belongings and journeyed far away. For years he traveled from town to town, but always avoided his home town.
At last, an old and weary man, he decided to return. He had grown a long beard and his face had aged enough so that he was sure he would not be recognized. His heart longed for the old familiar streets.
Once in town, he went directly to the marketplace. There, to his surprise, he saw the street had been paved. He turned to the man nearest him and said, "My friend, how smooth this street is! When, by the grace of Allah, was it so neatly paved?"
"Oh, that," said the man. "That was done three years, four months and two days after Muza Dai Boo farted in the marketplace."
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There's a butt plug lobby in Malawi?
I don't think that butt plugs would be more than a temporary help here. Think about it, have you ever fired a potato cannon before?
I have another relevant joke but I have to go to work soon and I don't have time to type it up.
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This is very similar to thought-crime. One friend told me about a document he watched at night. It was an experiment. Someone installed two cameras into airport hall. One was normal, one was infrared. The infrared camera recorded all emanations of gas warmer than air in nether areas of people. The normal camera recorded their appearance, which probably provided video material for some interesting and compromising details and image overlays.
In the end all the countless farts were counted. It was computed, that farts which people released in that airport hall during one day would be sufficient, if burned, to heat the hall for full three days.
It also proved, that people fart anywhere anytime. They are just good at silent farting.
I hope they won't have infrared cameras in Malawi any time soon.
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"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
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If they don't have infrared cameras they can always rely on the age old guideline that he who smelt it must have dealt it.
There are twists of time and space, of vision and reality, which only a dreamer can divine
H.P. Lovecraft
I don't think I could have imagined our species being this fucking stupid. As much as I hate the tribalism over fictional beings, the thought of someone being fined for farting almost trumps the stupidity of fighting over a sky daddy.
I get it, no one wants to smell someone else's sphincter methane. But these idiots have more to worry about their fellow human being killing in the name of a god. I never died from the smell of a fart, and the worst I said to someone who did was, "DUDE"!
Please tell me this is a parody story. Please tell me you haven't pinned the hopes of humanity on banning flatulence?
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