You need to stop getting drunk and control yourself Pineapple.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/

You can search for agnostics/atheists in your area. I am only being somewhat facetious.

*Disagreed.

Lmao. Normally, I would just say yes. In fact, I think I've said it before, like when you were arguing with Kevin. That's essentially all satirical though. And, the first time you showed up drunk on this forum, I was still humored and sarcastic. But, you've done this so many times recently that I'm genuinely a little worried about you.

If I'm going to be serious about it, I would have to say no, I don't think getting laid is what you really need or at least not all you need. I think you need good friends or a real relationship, not just sex. Of course, I really don't know you, so I'm mostly just making guesses about your situation based on what you've posted since I've joined this site......I could be completely wrong. Heck, you're probably like any other young person that gets drunk and parties all the time; I might just be way too sensitive and paranoid. If I am, I apologize.

But, if I am right, you don't have to admit it; just take it to heart and actively try to find whatever it is that you need. Call a friend? Go speed dating? I met my girlfriend on the website that I linked to in my previous post, so I'm really not just making fun of you.

Please don't use alcohol as an escape too much.

so call 230 in morning drunk?

just ask them to fuck me?

 You are so freaking annoying.  Sex no sex. love no love.  Who freaking cares?  Drunk.  I'm drunk right now.  What do you want?  I don't get you at all.  I've been on this site for over a year, and I still don't get you at all.  Maybe i'm just dense.  What on earth are you looking for Cpt_pineapple?

wow, sorry that sounded really stupid.  I guess I shouldn't post drunk either.  Sorry about that.  

If I am not mistaken, she is young and lonely. 

P.S.: if you can type on your computer, you are NOT drunk. 

*Sigh* I feel bad about what I said.  For some reason i felt angry.  Maybe because I don't have any friends, I've never had any significant romantic relationships, and because I quite often drink alone I felt angry hearing some one else complain. As for being drunk I had a six pack of beer last night.  I don't know if that is an excuse.   

I am Russian.

... and I would not comment further on your post.

Ratdog,

I can't really understand the 'no friends' thing.  Making friends is so easy- even very good friends- that sometimes I have to actively avoid it because I don't have enough attention to devote to very many people.

At this moment, I want to live in at least three different countries, and a half a dozen different cities simultaneously because I miss my best friends- more than I can really count- scattered around the world.  Anywhere I go, I'm in the company of great friends, and when I go to a new country or city, I have new great friends in a matter of days.

Hell, I've made great friends where I can barely understand a word they say, and even in the asshole of Texas.

And I'm a grade-A asshole.

I'm just saying, there shouldn't be anywhere in the world you can't make great friends- you just need to be confident and emotionally available.

What's your methodology, in that regard?  Or do you even have a method you follow?  You can't just wait for friends to fall into your lap; it rarely happens.  You need to be proactive!

The same goes for girls... well, most of the time.  Sometimes girls do just hit on one out of the blue for no apparent reason- I've had some rather awkward (and potentially embarrassing) situations in that regard where I didn't realize I was being flirted with.  With girls, sometimes one just needs to pay attention and realize when one is being hit on.  In university, I once had a girl hug and kiss me seemingly out of nowhere on the last day of class -and sent me a very... explicit love letter- turns out she was in love with me all year, but I was leaving the country a couple days later- oh well.

Anyway, the bottom line there is just to pay attention- people give off signs, if you can learn to read them.  Among my university friends, I was famously bad at reading signs though, so I probably can't help there.  That's something you can read about, though- there are a number of resources, both online and probably in books.

My problem with friends is mostly my problem with social anxiety disorder.  It just isn't isn't easy for me to be around people.  Another problem I have is these occasional funks I go through were I just kind of drop out of contact with everyone.  In regards to that sorry about that debate we were having about evolution were you where pretending to be a theist.  

My problem with girls is a little more complicated.  It includes all the problems I have with friends, and a few others as well.  A lot of my anger at religion comes from the way I was taught that even thinking about sex would make me evil in gods eyes.  I think some of the things I did to keep myself from thinking about sex have damaged me in some way.  Every time I feel attracted to someone it's like this horrible mess I've buried inside myself starts making it's way to the surface.  I don't know how to deal with the problem so I just keep it buried along with my attraction, and just hope I'll figure something out in the future.

Often times I avoid picking up on signs because I am not in a position to deal with them.    I don't know how to deal with my problems, and slowly I think that they are getting worse.  

ok

In a way, I envy you.

I fall into the category of those who find it very difficult to initiate and maintain friendships. I have quite a few acquaintances and am friendly with them - when I see them but, I don't go out of my way to see them.

I think the reason is I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. I was also raised an only child so, I have never had any trouble entertaining myself or doing things alone. I am actually more comfortable being alone than with a gang of people.

It took me a long time to realize that's just the way I am wired and that it's 'okay' to be this way. I also think I have a touch of Asperger's, though I've never been formally diagnosed.

The problem I had with drugs and alcohol (besides being obsessive and a natural alcoholic-can't take a sip without finishing the bottle) is that I was unhappy with who I was and thought I had to be like everyone else. Booze made me more sociable - or, so I thought. I was the life of the party for the first 5 or 6 drinks then, watch out, the Jekyll and Hyde magic trick would happen. I'd be out on my feet and turn into the most obnoxious drunk you can imagine. Woke up many a morning (or afternoon) not having a clue as to what happened the night before.

I count my lucky stars that I didn't kill myself- or, worse, someone else while having all that 'fun'.

I had an ex boyfriend who was like you...he would walk up to anyone, anywhere, and hit it off like they had been best friends from birth.  That ability simply boggles my mind!

I have learned that it takes an enormous amount of effort for me to cultivate and maintain friends - and I'm very choosy in who I devote my time to.

Setting up and opening up my retail shop is the easy part - socializing and schmoozing with the customers is going to be tough.

I may need your  in that area.

Well, whatever.  My friend crashed his laptop (physically) when he was really drunk and attempted use his computer. 

I don't want to fell into a no real Scotsman fallacy here. I am just saying that drunk for me does no go along with writing grammatically correct paragraphs on a website.   Something like 6 pack, or a half of the bottle of tequila is being under influence, but not really drunk.  Perhaps I am a potential alcoholic... but Americans don't get this.

I have the problem - unless you are a very good friend, don't touch me, don't hug me and kisses on the cheek like a lot of women do - ewwwww......

What helped is watching my husband - like Blake, he converses with total strangers - actually initiates conversations!  If you watch someone do this enough times, you realize that total strangers usually don't mind talking with other total strangers.  Striking up a conversation while in line at the grocery store is okay.  And you can talk about any old thing - you don't have to be political or pushy or socially gracious.  Assume they are interested too - and even if they aren't, they are usually ready to talk.  If not, you get a grunt for a reply - and then go bother someone else who will talk to you.  Hard to do the first time or two, but I finally got comfortable with it.

And Blake is also right, though I thought he could have been a little more forth coming - he usually speaks at great length.  Seeing a counselor, joining an on line group, taking meds for a little while can be very helpful.  If you have insurance, most policies will cover a few face to face sessions and the medications.  Always remember if you don't like the counselor, you can go to another one, until you find someone you are comfortable with.  And the meds are not forever, they are just until you get over the first big hump. 

(I once went to someone who said they used Freudian techniques.  I would avoid any counselor who claims to use this method.  First, it was a waste of my time and money.  Second, studies have shown Freud's techniques are/were not effective.  Even historically, all of his "cures" never were - it was all wishful thinking on his part.)

Sometimes it helps to find a safe place with a person you trust, but is not active in your personal life, to talk about why you feel the way you do.  And to review your biography.  Sometimes if you pull out old memories and look at them you can see they are not as important as you were making them.  We get into loops, playing old tapes, and you need to stop the tape, rewind, and record over it.  (an image that I found and find helpful.)

Best wishes, I'm rooting for you whatever you decide you can do.

Ah, quit yer bitchin'.

Some of my friends describe me as having a "reality distortion field" given my propensity to extreme happenstance.  I've even had more new-age inclined friends insist that I had magical powers of reality manifestation.  Alright, I understand that-- and it's remotely possible that the assumption that I am an average person is out of place; maybe I'm "special".

However, from a rational perspective, it seems strange to make an assumption that I am at all special in some non-reproducible way- it seems more reasonable to assume that I'm average, and that it is merely my outlook/perception/behavior that results in that propensity.  I do have a high IQ, but that doesn't really do me any favours in the social arena (if we're not talking math or physics, it's probably barely relevant).

I suspect that I'm either just more perceptive and proactive about opportunity, or other people sabotage themselves due to self-doubt.



I get a kick out of buying a plane or bus ticket somewhere I don't know anybody and eking out friends in the space of a few hours.  It's adventure; it's interesting, it's exciting.

I have been known to use sharpies to make impromptu signs to hold up to meet random new people.  I've even gotten dates that way.  Actually, I don't think I've ever failed, that I can remember.

I was once hopelessly stranded in some city in Washington somewhere, asked some people directions, ended up at a party, had somewhere free to sleep, and the next morning I was babysitting a five year old and playing the "clean up" game.  Turns out I wasn't hopelessly stranded- things just have a way or working out.


I'm not particularly attractive or charismatic.  I think it's just attitude.

It was the same way in university with tests or projects.  If we had two hours to finish our respective final projects before class, everybody else would be panicking, because they believed that there was a chance they might not finish- it was the panic that inhibited them and caused them not to finish; self fulfilling prophecies are really the only kind of valid prophecy.  I would be relatively relaxed because I had confidence in my ability to type the eight pages in the last thirty minutes if I really needed to- maybe I've never done it before, but somehow I just knew I could.


Having faith in some version of theistic reality doesn't change reality or make it so.  Having confidence in yourself DOES change you, if nothing else.

You can do it- unless, of course, you've already convinced yourself that you can't.

I think perhaps I was going to bed or something.  Well said though, thank you.

I've forced a few people (girls who fancied me) to overcome social anxiety by refusing to talk to them until they talked to X random people in the day.  After I forced them over that hump, they learned that people were actually less socially hostile than they once imagined.  It did worlds of good for them (alleviating isolation and depression, making friends, etc.), although of course then I was the bad guy for being mean and forcing them to be social (although, pleasantly, they all kept at it after my influence was gone- so sometimes people can be made to learn things). 

I'm glad I was able to help them anyway, even though it didn't do me any good.  Fixing people without creating a subconscious relationship of fear and domination is tricky.

Absolutely!  I'm glad you got it!  In Russia, this and only this state "beyond the line" is usually called a drunk state. 

I love how even the silliest things posted here get turned serious.

And on that note I present you with this.

Nice to have you back.

Of course, I'm just back myself. It's like meeting an old friend in a bar after a long winter stuck at home.

Makes me worried about her.

If she was sober all weekend, I think she would have let us know about it, don't you?

Maybe she's just away from a computer (not likely) for the holidays?

Where ever she is, I hope she's okay.

Sex?

I never could figure out how anyone could use one of those things and actually get anywhere with it.  I mean, laughing so hard you pee your pants doesn't bring most people to orgasm.  Usually everything deflates when you laugh that much.