atheist humor

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atheist humor


 Q: why did the atheist cross the road?

 A: he thought there might be a street on the other side but he had to test his hypothesis.


 Q: how many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

 A: 2. one to change the bulb another to film it so theist can't claim it was an act of god.


 Q: how does a rationalist woman get her hair done?

 A: in big bangs



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1. I was thinking about

1. I was thinking about opening up an atheist restaurant.

Nothing will be on the menu.

2. What do atheists shout during sex?

Their own name.

3.Become an atheist, sleep in on Sunday, watch football and drink beer.



"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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Q: What do you call

Q: What do you call Christian Porn?

A: Jesus fucking Christ.


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I love kids..........




                    ..............especialy with gravy.


                    A father was in church with his three young children. A neice was being baptised.  He sat in the front row so the children could properly witness the ritual. The mans five year old daughter was watching closely has the water was being poured over the infants forehead,  she whispered to her daddy "So that's when they brain wash the babys!!"



                      A seven year old boy is very sad because the family dog sickly and dying,  the father is trying to comfort him.  "Don't worry son, he is an old dog and dying is natural; I'll tell you what, when he dies we'll have your friends over and serve ice cream and cake and....",   "Daddy,"  the boy interupted , "Let's kill him NOW!!!!!!"

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"

If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?

Beyond Saving
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  A Jew, A Catholic, and


 A Jew, A Catholic, and an atheist are rowing in Lake Erie when their boat springs a huge leak. The Jew looks skyward, and says “Oh, Adonai, if you save me, I promise I’ll sail to Israel and spend the rest of my days trying to reclaim the land you gave us.” The Catholic looks skyward, and says, “Oh, Jesus, if you save me, I promise I’ll fly to the Vatican and spend the rest of my days singing your praises.” The atheist says, “Oh, guys, if you pass me that one life preserver, I promise I’ll swim to Cleveland.” “And how will you spend the rest of your days?” the Jew and the Catholic ask. “Well,” says the atheist, “I’m not sure, but I can tell you one thing: I’ll never go rowing with other atheists.


If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X