Funny analogies

robj101
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Funny analogies

 

We are made in "gods" image, so I imagine a bearded man in a van driving around with candy.

"I have religion, get in the van."

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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Jesus strips, litmus testing

Jesus strips, litmus testing for the faithful.


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With the onset of higher

With the onset of higher intelligence containing the knowledge of death, religion is a side effect of evolution. Other side efects may include, jealousy, hate, love and fear among others. See your doctor for more details and how you too can evolve.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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A cup of Jesus a day keeps

A cup of Jesus a day keeps the intelligent away.


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Jesus girlfriend was a

Jesus girlfriend was a hooker. Your girlfriend had better not be one though. That would not be holy.

 

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

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Jesus saves...lots of money

Jesus saves...lots of money because he uses Geico.


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Is it coincidence that bible

Is it coincidence that bible paper rolls a good joint?


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My Jesus is running slow, I

My Jesus is running slow, I wonder if It has a virus.


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*heavy breathing* "I find

*heavy breathing* "I find your lack of faith disturbing."


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Guess I'm mostly amusing

Guess I'm mostly amusing myself with these, and some aren't that good ><


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Best bumper sticker ever: 

Best bumper sticker ever:  "I found him!  I've got Jesus in the trunk!"

 

A response to the tried and true:  "I found him!  I've got Jesus in the heart!"


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Jesus soup, now with 30%

Jesus soup, now with 30% less saturated intelligence, your kids will love to eat the fun shapes of crosses, spikes, bibles and little pagan fish symbols!

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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If prayer worked then why

If prayer worked then why the fuck do I have to mow my lawn?

Saying "Don't pick on my god" give me the image of a midget standing spread eagle in front of the Terminator shouting "DON'T HIT MY ALL POWERFUL GOD, YOU MIGHT HURT HIM".

Jesus was born of a virgin, that and I can fart a Lamborghini out of my ass.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog


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robj101 wrote:Jesus

robj101 wrote:

Jesus saves...lots of money because he uses Geico.

 

And Moses invests in Geico.  Get's a much better interest rate.  Lately though, he has been buying small amounts of BP.  Hey, we all know that in a couple of years, the financial market will no longer care but today, you can get it for next to nothing.

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


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 Jesuchaun's hide heaven at

 Jesuchaun's hide heaven at the end of faith.


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"Hi ho pink unicorn,

"Hi ho pink unicorn, awaaaayyy!" Jesus Rides again.

If I were an artist I would draw a pic.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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thats a very nice

thats a very nice talent...theres no such thing as an atheist...its a copp out and youll get yours from the very god you mock...


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Chosen wrote:thats a very

Chosen wrote:

thats a very nice talent...theres no such thing as an atheist...its a copp out and youll get yours from the very god you mock...

Naked threats, yawn!!! 


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Brian37 wrote:If prayer

Brian37 wrote:
If prayer worked then why the fuck do I have to mow my lawn?

 

Well then get Jesus to mow your lawn.  There are a bunch of guys named Jesus who mow lawns around here.  It is far easier than digging ditches.

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

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Chosen wrote:thats a very

Chosen wrote:

thats a very nice talent...theres no such thing as an atheist...its a copp out and youll get yours from the very god you mock...

Still waiting and will be as long as people exist who refuse to believe that someone truly does not believe in their fairy tale, that's the real cop out.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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robj101 wrote:*heavy

robj101 wrote:

*heavy breathing* "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

That line always bothered me. Vader within microseconds demonstrated the existence of the Force beyond argument, and was well known by that point in the Empire's history for doing crazy and impossible things. How can you have faith in something you know exists?

*sigh*

Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.