# Since I fucked up the "Hypothetical Argument" thread...

Hambydammit
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Since I fucked up the "Hypothetical Argument" thread...

Let's see if I can repost what I tried to put in the other thread, this time without the nuclear fuck-up.

Quote:
Good evening.

The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies; that is, invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms, of the type so often committed by my wife. "All wood burns," states Sir Bedevere. "Therefore," he concludes, "all that burns is wood." This is, of course, pure bullshit. Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan. "Oh yes," one would think.

However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the conversion of a proposition; consequently, she does not understand me. For how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic, if the simplest cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder.

For example, given the premise, "all fish live underwater" and "all mackerel are fish", my wife will conclude, not that "all mackerel live underwater", but that "if she buys kippers it will not rain", or that "trout live in trees", or even that "I do not love her any more." This she calls "using her intuition". I call it "crap", and it gets me very irritated because it is not logical.

"There will be no supper tonight," she will sometimes cry upon my return home. "Why not?" I will ask. "Because I have been screwing the milkman all day," she will say, quite oblivious of the howling error she has made. "But," I will wearily point out, "even given that the activities of screwing the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing is over, surely then, supper may, logically, be got." " You don't love me any more," she will now often postulate. "If you did, you would give me one now and again, so that I would not have to rely on that rancid Pakistani for my orgasms." "I will give you one after you have got me my supper," I now usually scream, "but not before" -- as you understand, making her bang contingent on the arrival of my supper.

"God, you turn me on when you're angry, you ancient brute!" she now mysteriously deduces, forcing her sweetly throbbing tongue down my throat. "Fuck supper!" I now invariably conclude, throwing logic somewhat joyously to the four winds, and so we thrash about on our milk-stained floor, transported by animal passion, until we sink back, exhausted, onto the cartons of yoghurt.

I'm afraid I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original brief. But in a nutshell:

Sex is more fun than logic -- one cannot prove this, but it "is" in the same sense that Mount Everest "is", or that Alma Cogan "isn't".

Goodnight.

That is my favorite Monty Python skit nobody's ever heard before.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

Kevin R Brown
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If there's only one man left

If there's only one man left on Earth, and he believes in God, does that make God - for all intents and purposes - real?

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"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940

Renee Obsidianwords
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Kevin R Brown wrote:If

Kevin R Brown wrote:

If there's only one man left on Earth, and he believes in God, does that make God - for all intents and purposes - real?

Nope, only makes the man lonely.

Slowly building a blog at ~

HisWillness
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Hambydammit wrote:That is my

Hambydammit wrote:

That is my favorite Monty Python skit nobody's ever heard before.

First of all, I had the "best of" cassette-tape set, and that was on it. Second, the other thread is fixed. How did you manage to insert so many pieces of a table into a post without including the rest of the table? That's skill.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence

darth_josh
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Hypothetically, isn't

Hypothetically, isn't pasting something twice and expecting a different result the mark of insanity?

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Hambydammit
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Quote:Hypothetically,

Quote:
Hypothetically, isn't pasting something twice and expecting a different result the mark of insanity?

It would be if I hadn't used a different method the second time.  (I pasted the whole thing into "Notepad" to reduce it to just the text.)

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

HisWillness
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Wow. Most fascinating thread ever at this point.

"... then I brushed my teeth and put on Golden Girls. It was the one about Sofia trying to get a tattoo."

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence

Hambydammit
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yeah... I feel like the

yeah... I feel like the guy at the party who spends ten minutes telling the joke everyone has already heard before.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

HisWillness
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Hambydammit wrote: yeah...

Hambydammit wrote:

yeah... I feel like the guy at the party who spends ten minutes telling the joke everyone has already heard before.

Hmm. M'yeah.

K, so AtheismIsNonsense is arguing Kent Hovind style for no speciation with butterbattle. Didn't deludedgod already cover that?

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence

JillSwift
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HisWillness

HisWillness wrote:

Hambydammit wrote:

yeah... I feel like the guy at the party who spends ten minutes telling the joke everyone has already heard before.

Hmm. M'yeah.

K, so AtheismIsNonsense is arguing Kent Hovind style for no speciation with butterbattle. Didn't deludedgod already cover that?

Phfft. All DeludedGod had was facts. Facts don't even slow down a good creationist.

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray

HisWillness
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JillSwift wrote:Phfft. All

JillSwift wrote:
Phfft. All DeludedGod had was facts. Facts don't even slow down a good creationist.

So painfully, painfully true.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence

Hambydammit
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Yeah.  I looked at that

Yeah.  I looked at that thread briefly.  I determined that I'm overqualified to comment.  Arguing with anyone using Hovindisms is like running with the tards in the special olympics.  Even if you beat them by a hundred lengths, they'll still all get medals and they'll still all think they've accomplished something.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

HisWillness
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Hambydammit wrote: Yeah.

Hambydammit wrote:

Yeah.  I looked at that thread briefly.  I determined that I'm overqualified to comment.  Arguing with anyone using Hovindisms is like running with the tards in the special olympics.  Even if you beat them by a hundred lengths, they'll still all get medals and they'll still all think they've accomplished something.

Aw. At least with legitimately mentally handicapped people, they really are accomplishing something.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence

ClockCat
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:3

If you are not not retarded and talking to someone that is not not not retarded over the achievement of not winning the special olympics, then obviously you are taking the achievement on faith.

Paisley and OrdinaryClay proved this. I think.

Theism is why we can't have nice things.

Hambydammit
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Quote:Aw. At least with

Quote:
Aw. At least with legitimately mentally handicapped people, they really areaccomplishing something.

You've been setting a high "bully bar" lately.  I was trying to keep up.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

HisWillness
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Hambydammit

Hambydammit wrote:

Quote:
Aw. At least with legitimately mentally handicapped people, they really areaccomplishing something.

You've been setting a high "bully bar" lately.  I was trying to keep up.

It's true.

I still want to roll that bitch if (s)he comes back. You'll probably have to reign me in, because it could get on the trolling side. Like that time the dickface said you weren't allowed to use the Lord's name in vain and you went virtual apeshit. That shit was called for. Sometimes people have to be told.

Although your point stands. That OrdinaryClay guy has been soundly defeated a handful of times by our resident pantheist, no less, and he's still giving himself high fives. Perhaps your original retard-medal analogue was correct.

With that drive-by, though, I've never seen so many platitudes regurgitated all at once. That brings out the severe bully.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence