I might even start a "church"...
Offline I just find it simply HILARIOUS that *I* am officially an ordained minister capable of legally marrying two people! I am an Atheist minister
The wedding industry is rapidly growing, despite other business facing bankruptcy. The average wedding across the United States costs $20,000. (Yes, that's "twenty" with a "thousand" attached to it.) As for me, I'm getting married in a year with a measly $2,500 and we're paying for the entire thing ourselves. I guess someone has to fill the bottom portion in order to create that average.
When talking to a videographer (who was very nice, but we cannot afford) he has done a few different weddings with the price tag of $100,000. You read that correctly. *sigh* I don't even want that! There are so many other things I could buy with that, but maybe that's why I'm not your typical bride. I will do all the hair and nails business, but none of this fancy stuff.
But I realized, just because *we* don't have the money to pay for that, doesn't mean others don't. Most people have parents and family members contributing to their wedding fund, if not all. Every vendor was brand new to the business at one point in time, and I have a friend who just went into business as a photographer for engagement/wedding/misc. photos. (She's terrible, but she makes some money!)
So while this post is pretty pointless, I just find it so unbelievable ironic yet humorous that I am an ordained Atheist minister. 
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That is pretty funny. I think if I were going to be the minister of a wedding that I would have some absurd stipulation in order to do it. Like, no one can wear pants. Anyone, including the audience members.
But I think it is also a relevant topic. The fact that we are atheist doesn't preclude us from being drawn to symbolic tradition. It is apparently something that we use to help make the idea of community seem more substantial. Yunno? Like, we know that we are a part of our community and family, but when we have a ceremony in which we go through rituals that people have been going through for generations... we feel connected. We feel like, now that we too have taken this ritualistic step, that we too are a part of the larger human civilization. That we all (or those who have gone through said ritual) have this thing in common, and that we aren't so far removed from each other after all.
The no pants rule would be pretty funny, although I can't say I would be in business for very long. Then again, I would technically be in business (since you don't pay anything to stay in business) but I just wouldn't make any money.
And the whole point is money. Because apparently the Jesus folk loves to hand over the $$$. I'm not greedy. I'm just poor. There is a difference.
California has made this pretty easy on me, though. As for other states, I have no idea of the process, but in California you don't need to bring any paperwork with you to the ceremony site as proof of ministry. (It's just good to have that documentation at home for legal purposes, which is sent to you via e-mail for free once ordained.) You sign the marriage license after speaking whatever words the couple has agreed upon, send or walk in the license to the clerk/recorder's office. Once processed, the couple will received their official license copy.
Done and done. I get paid the day of.
You're doing Christian ceremonies?
Man, I'd rather nail my dick to a burning building! Maybe not literally, but still.
It's the least that EVERYONE deserves, to be treated the same. And I don't just mean that about us; I mean it about every minority. We bleed the same, we breath the same air, and yet some people think of minority of less than them. As those who deserve less.
In a way, if I succeed at this, even at one single wedding, I can somehow once again prove that an Atheist can do anything a religious person can do. For me, it feels great, especially when it brings Christianity down from it's pedestal.
No...noooo. NO!
Nope. Secular. Non-religious. The people can be religious or spiritual if they want. Doesn't matter to me.
For example, our wedding will have this Apache Wedding Poem since we're both Native American.
So if someone wanted to write their own vows or include something like that, sure, but I'm not going to read from the Bible.
Nope.
*Edit* I realize that by saying "Jesus folk" that probably came off wrong! No actually since the churches in this area are CRAPPY (unlike the architectural "works of art" in Europe or whatever) most people get married in public facilities or outdoors. The majority of the popular experienced officiants pride themselves on being non-denominational so even if you are ultra religious, unless you get married in a church by their minister, you are responsible for your own vows. Most often, they suck it up to have a nice wedding because of the area we live in. Besides, most of the true Bible thumpers are the Fox News-lovin' grandparents whereas the younger generations are separating themselves from that. Being unique and standing apart from the crowd is the "in" wedding trend these days...
OK, I must confess that I too am an ordained minister. I got my ordination through the Universal Life Church, which is basically a diploma mill that holds that you can believe whatever you want as long as you don't insist on dragging them into controversy.
So is that what you did Silly Mommy? Or did you have another route to the ministry? If so, do please share the details...
Also, I really must tell all of you that when my brother got married, neither he or I wore pants to the event. And we were not alone in this. The commander of the NYC police pipe and drum band who piped him in to the tune “Who wants to live forever” from Queen/Highlander was also wearing his kilt.
=
Leave it to a guy wearing a Catholic priest collar to find a loop hole in the whole "no pants" clause.
Foiled again!
We are all brothers/sisters in ULC! Ha! Wouldn't it suck if I were actually like that? But no, really, I just went online and did what I had to do. I had to reread the steps about a thousand times because I was skeptical that that was ALL I had to do to become ordained. But sure enough, that was it! I even called my county clerk to confirm what my legal duties were.
Technically, I won't be wearing pants either.
But I'll probably be wearing a shitload of tulle, so men can suck it!
My wife & I were married by Elvis in the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel...
I love the idea of an atheist minister though...
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
I don't understand people who spend a fortune for a wedding. If I am to get married some day, 1000$ is absolute maximum, still way to much.
A nice backyard BBQ wedding is very possible for $1,000.
If you manage even a semi-formal even for $1,000 you must be a god. It's impossible.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Go for it! If you can get 10 suckers to give you 10% of their daily wage you'll be making their average wage fo doing nothing. If you can manage to get 20 fools you'll get double the average!
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
Well, I would have to give you a big thumbs down to "Kevin" and "Alison," despite the happy couple they might be. In California, the marriage license can be purchased by the couple in any county (unless requesting a confidential - not publicly recorded - license, which they must marry in that county) and from that point they have 90 days to be signed by the officiant (usually after the ceremony when he/she has vocally/emotionally legalized the union).
I'm pretty certain no country currently allows the what you described above.
Your Russian "bride" will have to move to this side of the hemisphere first.
As for starting a religion DO NOT follow the model of the traditional religions. Follow the model of Scientology. That leaves it wide open to be anything from Hubbard to any place back to traditional religions. The Scientologists made clear legal pleadings to the IRS to support their claim to being a religion. The IRS accepted those pleadings. Do not get worse than the pleadings.
Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.
www.ussliberty.org
www.giwersworld.org/made-in-alexandria/index.html
www.giwersworld.org/00_files/zion-hit-points.phtml
But tell me, what is the point in spending a fortune on something so unimportant. I just wonder if there's a female in the world with the same opinion.
Please don't tell my Guyanese wife about my Russian bride, tovarich.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
I too am ordained through the ULC. Just because I thought it would be funny to be an atheist minister. I have been trying to get one of my friends to get married so I can try it out, but nobody seems interested. And I have the best BBQ kitten recipe for the reception...
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." - Bertrand Russell
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
I'm not actually going to start a church.
And I have confirmed with my county/state. I have everything I need to legally marry a couple. I could do it for free if I wanted to. But that wouldn't do me any good when people are willing pay someone for their services.
I might. What kind of hoops did you have to jump through to marry people?
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
Good luck! Let me know if you make any $$. My job prospects haven't gotten any easier in any other field, and yet those damn churches continue raking in the dough!
As for the hoops, there were none. I simple went online to the Universal Life Church Website, entered in my legal information, and in a matter of time I had received confirmation of my ordination. Naturally skeptical, I immediately contacted my county clerk and read over the documentation I had been sent via e-mail (which I printed and filed for my legal purposes) by the ULC. Sure enough, it was adequate for my state to legally bind two heterosexual (obviously not including homosexual... *grumble*) persons in a civil ceremony.
To bad. The Silly Church would be perfect.
So do it in exchange for in invitation to the free food and drinks as the reception.
Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.
www.ussliberty.org
www.giwersworld.org/made-in-alexandria/index.html
www.giwersworld.org/00_files/zion-hit-points.phtml
Well... that was easier than expected. I wonder what the laws are in my state.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
I did the same thing with ULC just after I bought my notary commission. I registered with the clerk of court here, and added my name to the list of available marriage officiants. No calls yet, but when the law allows for gay marriage, I expect to start my services for them. No idea what it might cost $$$ but I am willing to give it shot.
And like you said, it is pretty much up to the couple, the type of ceremony they want. I just can't do the gawd thing. My county clerks office refers to me as a reverend. I just about choked.
Yes, you can pay to have yourself added to your county's list as well as lists of popular wedding websites such as TheKnot.com and Brides.com. You would probably have a better chance at receiving more business that way, but there is a lot to be said about word of mouth and simple ads on Craiglist after finding out the going rate for officiants in your town. I wouldn't say lie to anyone, but give a phone call to most successful in your town, acting as an engaged person.
If you're a man, they'll love you even more for it (as usually all the planning is left up to the women...no ones gonna bust yo' balls for it!). Then you can charge less than that, and just use the personal/professional references you would normally use on a resume to try and gain some clients. Lower the price a little in return for a client to be a reference. Stuff like that.
That's how people start. Don't forget about taxes though!
Who Must Pay Self-Employment Tax? (www.irs.gov)
You must pay SE tax and file Schedule SE (Form 1040) if your net earnings from self-employment (excluding church employee income ) were $400 or more or you had church employee income of $108.28 or more.
The "Silly Church" sounds fitting, wouldn't everyone agree?