Life's little mysteries
Posted on: May 1, 2009 - 12:41am
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Life's little mysteries
Why is there an "S" in the word lisp?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If the temperature is zero otuside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
If "pro" is the opposite of "con" then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
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Irony.
Testicle.
Fucking cold.
That is definitely weird.
Only if it's a Republican majority.
What did you say?
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
English is pretty weird at times.
Just get a room with Kevin already.
136.5 degrees Kelvin.
I park on the street or in a garage.
No, because they conduce the growing of produce.
They certainly do if it's twice as cold as it was yesterday.
To piss off the Spanish.
Testicular. Believe me, they're really testy.
OO
Because it's fun to be confused.
Similarly, wouldn't 'convivial' mean 'against fun?'
Because deaf ears don't scare the straights. The eyes of blind people- at least those who don't train themselves to look like they're not blind- do. I know that was an actual answer, but, what the hell.
To make fun of people with lisp?
Testicle.
Based on the math or the motion of particles?
Technically, you could park on parkways and drive on driveways.
Sometimes.
They don't? Hehe.
You should ask "real" difficult questions, instead of just questions based on semantics, like why is there is braille on drive through ATMs?
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?
"Practice" and "practise" are two different words.
To PRACTISE something is to do it over and over in order to improve. I think this is the one you are all thinking of. Practise is a VERB.
A PRACTICE is the work of a professional person, or the process of carrying an idea. This word is a NOUN.
Frequently misused words in the U.S. tend to end up being accepted as misused. This is one case of that.
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
Alan, the answer is:
"Who was George Carlin?"
I've wondered about this myself. And, I don't think it could have anything to do with the Spanish... because Espana (pretend that was an en~e...) has an s as well, so they did that to themthelveth.
I hate when things are "twice as small" or "three times cheaper"... what does that mean!??!
If X is twice as cheap as Y, does that mean that 2*cost of X = cost of Y, or that there is some reference item Z such that cost of Z - cost of X = 2*(cost of Z = cost of Y)?
Funny.
But it's probably because your ears don't randomly track non-existence sounds. I figure the sunglasses were because the sighted might be bothered by seeing the blind person's eyes rolled back or drifting around randomly, or whatever. Maybe a society of anthropomorphic cats would have deaf cats wear earmuffs to cover their ears if they randomly pointed about.
Some good questions, Cap't.
-Triften
Which is all well and good in the US of A, but those of us on the other side of the pond that use English-English have the same spelling for both definitions, making the play on words work in the spoken format as well as the written one.
In future I'd thank you for not assuming I'm American
M
Forget Jesus, the stars died so that you could be here
- Lawrence Krauss
Actually, we typically use practice as in "I practiced a musical instrument" in America as far as I know. The Oxford English Dictionary doesn't seem to care all that much either.
http://dictionary.oed.com/cgi/entry/50186009?query_type=word&queryword=practice&first=1&max_to_show=10&sort_type=alpha&result_plac...
God.
Testilicious.
If "warm" is 20, and "cool" is 10, and "cold" starts at zero, then I'd say -10.
Fuzzy math, baby.
To consider this question seriously, we'll need to consult Joe Momma.
Actually, egress is the new progress. You didn't get the memo, I guess.
Because one of its legs is both the same.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same forwards as backwards?
People just like it better that way.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
What the fuck is a parkway? I have never heard that term before...
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
Uhm, Utopia Parkway? Fountains of Wayne? C'mon! You should know your power pop better than that. It's only one of the best albums of the last 15 years.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
????????
What are you talking about? I have no clue.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
Sorry. Just an album that references a "Parkway." Utopia Parkway is a long road in New York City. It's also the name of a Fountains of Wayne album (which I referenced for humor's sake). I'm not sure why they call roads parkways, other than they might go by parks. But I know of several, from New York City to Anchorage, Alaska. You drive on 'em.
Gallagher (the watermellon-smashing very unfunny comedian) used that line in his routine, years and years ago: "Can someone tell me why you park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway?" It wasn't funny then; it's no funnier now.
But Utopia Parkway really is a good album.
[EDIT addendum]
That is, it's a good album if you like power pop. Y'know, Matthew Sweet, Crowded House, School of Fish, Switchfoot (for those pseudo-spiritual folks out there), Jason Faulkner, and so on.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
LOL I got the joke, just never heard the term. I actually pieced together the meaning by the context right after I read it. I'm just trying to be funny.
Never heard of any of them. I'm a metal head myself. I listen to that ear-bleed music.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
If there is an exception to every rule, then what is the exception to the rule that there is an exception to every rule?
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Its self?
What Would Kharn Do?
Done. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpwk3eSE160 once it finishes going through youtube's processing.
-Triften