Does God have feet?
Offline If God created man in his own image, I wonder what use God would have for certain appendages. I know why we have certain appendages, because we use them to survive in this physical world of ours. But are survival qualities necessary in heaven, and were they really necessary prior to the creation of heaven? Now, if God is older than time itself and he predates the universe, then why would he have legs and feet when there was no ground to walk on? Why would he have fingers when there was nothing to hold? Did those fingers come with fingernails even though they had no use other than to pick his celestial nose? Did he create air to give his nose something to smell? Better yet, does God have hair? Not just on his mug but all that body hair that we use to trap a layer of air and keep us warm. If he did, would that mean that God was capable of getting cold? Does he have the same five senses as us? If he did have the same five senses as us, then that would mean he could feel pain, which doesn’t sound very god like. If he doesn’t feel pain then that would mean that we can do something that he can’t do… Okay my mind is turning to mush.
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- Kevin R Brown
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i think your thinking too hard man. this is dangerous territory.
It think I managed to inadvertedly deeply insulted a creationist yesterday by proposing that if we are created in God's image, then chimpanzees were created a little in God's image, and God would look a little like a chimpanzee. Or Gorilla, whatever.
Apparently, this was paramount to blasphemy. I found that odd, but whatever.
Does god get morning wood?
Maybe, if the Holy Spirit was dreaming about Mary.
Rick
Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?
Don't they change the meaning of "in his own image" when they get questions like this? Like, we were created in the image of his essence?
Well, assuming that god existed, he would not have to think about Mary to sport wood. God would, by definition, be the ultimate fucker. If you don't do what he wants, then you are fucked. On the other hand, if you don't want to be fucked, then all that you have to do is receive the body of christ. Sounds to me as if you get fucked either way.
That being said, the bible clearly states that god has feet:
Genesis 18
1 And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;
2 And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
3 And said, My LORD, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:
So what was he standing on? If he has no feet, then he must have been standing on his stumps, which brings us back to the whole can god feel pain thing.
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Well in the commonly refered to god of Abraham, he is refered to as a he, so I would assume he has an invisable scrotum and invisable testicles and an invisable penis and shoots invisable sperm (VIOLA! JESUS!)
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
You proved he has an ass. Not feet.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Actually, it was Lot who was sitting in the tent door. God was one of the guys standing. You remembere Lot? Same guy who a couple of chapters on is going to offer his two virgin daughters to be gang raped by the men of Soddom provided that they agree to to have butt sex with his house guests.
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Saying that a diety is a he or a she is like saying that a snarfwidgit is a he or a she, it's not like we can take god or a snarfwidget to a doctor, much less a vet, to determine it's sex.
Maybe the Chinese know what god's sex is, they are experts in determining the sex of baby chicks.
Hey China, while you are bussy loaning us money to the point you own us, could you get your chicken experts to look between god's legs?
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Listen my republican friend, I will not tollerate you pointing out the pornography in the bible!
You cannot, and must not distroy the image of petting zoo animals magicaly turned into borgs getting on a boat. How will the Children's Bible industry survive? ESPECIALLY IN THIS ECOMIC DOWNTURN! THE BIBLE NEEDS A BAILOUT TOO!
THOSE PEDDLERS OF MYTH NEED JOBS TOO!
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Who says that I am done with Lot? Genesis 19:30-38:
30And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
31And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
32Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
33And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
34And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
35And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
36Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
37And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
38And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.
Sounds to me like the bible thumpers could generate quite a bit of income from the porn that they sell...
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I'm not going to do it, but this thread is just begging for a Chuck Norris fact.
You are a fucking asshole!
You don't get it. You are not allowed to expose the man behind the curtain!
If we point out the genocide and incest in the bible, people cant gloss over it. I bet you cheered when Bambi's mother got shot!
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Chuck Noris has nothing on Dirty Harry. Tell me when Kung Foo is faster than a bullet. Noris is nothing but a member of a long line of fads, and just like Sally Field is now doing infomericals like Marry Osmand, Noris, no matter how entertaining, will meet the same fate this planet will, just like William Shatner peddles Priceline.
Now, Joe Peschi on the other hand, has a more violent shelf life than any atom decay, and I wouldn't challenge a black hole to fuck with Joe Pechi.
I would be more worried about the secret's of Joe Pechi being in the hands of Iran than I would of Chuck Noris.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Hey, don't get me wrong. I was named for fucking Clint Eastwood, and like George Carlin, I pray to Joe Pesci, just because he seems like the kind of guy that can get things done. That being said, the thread title mentions feet, and in the modern internet age, you can't mention feet without some asshole mentioning Chuck Norris. I've been tired of Chuck Norris for a while, but you can't avoid the motherfucker. For that matter, I can't help myself, so here goes...
God used to have feet, but he loaned them to Chuck Norris and he's afraid to ask for them back.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
Chuck Noris's feet have nothing on John Maden's tounge. Every time I watch Maden's play by play I feel like a red carpet is being rolled out for me, even when I didn't ask for one.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
I know you were not talking about Maden, but for the NFL fans, they will get the joke. Maden's tounge makes Gene Simmons envious.
It is merely like his tounge becomes as distracting as the needless X-box graphics the producers insist on.
I have been watching the NFL for 35 years and DONT need the "Small buss, hockey equiptment graphics" treating me like I was born yesterday.
Maden's tounge is no where near as anoying as that, although inbetween plays, I do feel like I want to harpoon a whale.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
*Shrug*
It was worth a shot. I couldn't make much sense of who was who in the bit you posted, so I jumped on the funniest assumption.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Chuck already does the Total Gym infomercials