Christians: Just So You Know, We're Not Totally Retarded

Kevin R Brown
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Christians: Just So You Know, We're Not Totally Retarded

...Christians, just FYI, the entirety of the free world is well aware that your own personal Big Book of Facts That Are Even Better Than Scientific has told you that all the True Christians (TM) will be instantly raptured away by Jesus, and then the big scary anti-christ will come. We heard you the first few thousand times (though, to be fair, I - personally - am starting to tune the ravings out by now).

 

And guess what? We aren't retards. If tomorrow I see a bunch of people magically disappear right in front of my eyes, and hear about the same thing being documented all across the globe, and then some ultra-charismatic slimeball shows-up and starts using the numbers '666' to mark his buddies and starts insisting on creating a personal army and globalized economy, I'll probably know what's up.

This question perhaps encourages your fantasy a little more than I'd like, but: assuming your ridiculous, comic-bookish showdown of good vs evil is on the horizon, [i]what on Earth would possibly make you think that a majority of the people on the planet would decide to play on Mr. Evil's team?

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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Lol. God's running out of

Lol.
God's running out of time. He waits much longer and we'll have colonies on Mars and Luna. What then? Nothing in the entire collective works of christianity mentions more than Earth. Would Martians be safe?

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I don't know about that

I don't know about that Kevin.  If 'good' refers to the hebrew god as described in the bible as a mass murderer, I may well side with Mr 'Evil'.  Some christians may argue that 'evil's' side is hopeless in the same way that small town parents at pep rallies say that playing their kids' football team is hopeless however god has the strength of a unicorn and no matter what that value is (4.7 chuck norris power?), it is finite, otherwise a comparison to anything including a unicorn could not possibly be valid.

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Vastet wrote:Lol. God's

Vastet wrote:
Lol. God's running out of time. He waits much longer and we'll have colonies on Mars and Luna. What then? Nothing in the entire collective works of christianity mentions more than Earth. Would Martians be safe?

 

Oh, come on, man! Everyone knows the Earth was *made* just for humans. There aren't any other planets "in the zone" to support life. What's the point of colonizing other worlds?

[/sarcasm]


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Well, according to the

Well, according to the Buybull God couldn't defeat iron chariots. What chance would he have against modern military equipment?

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Nuke god!

Nuke god!

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I don't get why people who

I don't get why people who are here for the rapture will actually get the only hard evidence for the existance of the Christian God, and then still get to choose between heaven and hell.

Doesn't seem fair imo.

"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." -- former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien


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Well, not all Christians

Well, not all Christians believe in a secret rapture, seven year tribulation, anti Christ, et cetera.  Those theory's were actually recently popularized by a guy named John Nelson Darby, in the 1800's, along with the Plymouth Brethren.  There is really no Scripture proof for an anti-Christ, secret rapture, or seven year tribulation. 

The story goes that in 1830, a 15 year old girl name Margaret McDonald supposedly had a vision, and this is when all the hoopla began.  Her "prophecies" were later incorporated into a salvational system.  This salvational system is called Dispensationalism and it's completely foreign to the church before Nelson.  For a more serious outlook on eschatology, you can study up on Amillennialism, or Postmillennialism.

Amillennialism (what I believe), means there wont be a literal 1000 year millennium of Jesus reigning on this earth.  When it comes to Jesus Second Coming, He is going to come back and immediately commence judgment.  There isn't going to be any disappearances, or warnings for anyone.  Jesus will just show up, and began the judgment and it'll be too late to take any action.  However, this might not happen for hundreds or maybe thousands of years. 

When it comes to things like the mark of the beast, Amillennialist believe every unbeliever already has the mark of the beast, and every believer already has God's mark. 

Postmillennialist believe the world is going to be Christianized, then Jesus will return basically after the whole earth is evangelized and the majority of the human population have become believers.

Dispensationalism became popular in America during the Great Awakening.  Most Christians don't research much, but rather, blindly believe what the Pastor says.  So the next time you encounter a Dispensationalist, maybe you can educate them on these things.  Most likely, they don't know that they are Dispensationalist, and haven't even heard of the term.

 

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At least the stories that

At least the stories that have been made up recently can be more easily shown to be just that. The fact that there are so many varieties generated recently enough to see the sort of thought processes involved just leaves us with good grounds for assuming by default that the older ones are not really any more likely to be true.

Doesn't prove the original stories were false, of course, but we don't need to demolish that straw man to legimately assert that there are no grounds for certainty that they are true.

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

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Well, at least your not

Well, at least your not totally retarded.

 

 


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...Says the dude with zero

...Says the dude with zero evidence to back-up his worldview.


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Cpt_pineapple wrote:Well, at

Cpt_pineapple wrote:

Well, at least your not totally retarded.

 

 

Cpt, could you clarify just who you are responding to? I can't see how this post quite makes sense as a response to any of the earlier posts.

I'm sure you realize by now that the rest of us don't think the same way you do, so while it may seem obvious to you how such remarks are to be understood, we would appreciate some clarification.

Just so we can be sure we are not misunderstanding your point.

 

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

The path to Truth lies via careful study of reality, not the dreams of our fallible minds - me

From the sublime to the ridiculous: Science -> Philosophy -> Theology


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It was more a response to

It was more a response to the title itself. I just couldn't resist getting a shot in at Kevin Smiling


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Full Retard

Cpt_pineapple wrote:
Well, at least your not totally retarded. 

The prefered nomenclature is "full retard" and I would appreciate it if you would use that phrase. Otherwise, you offend my people.

OP:

They have to keep repeating it. They're not doing it for our sake boyo. They do it for the religious moderates. Those guys pretend to not have an opinion but are still moved by the same old threats laid down by the holy books.

So they're not calling you retarded... they're just set on "repeat" so the dumbasses out there don't forget who to be afraid of. Can't let them start "thinking". That's the devils mistress.


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Kevin R Brown

Kevin R Brown wrote:

...Christians, just FYI, the entirety of the free world is well aware that your own personal Big Book of Facts That Are Even Better Than Scientific has told you that all the True Christians (TM) will be instantly raptured away by Jesus, and then the big scary anti-christ will come. We heard you the first few thousand times (though, to be fair, I - personally - am starting to tune the ravings out by now).

 

And guess what? We aren't retards. If tomorrow I see a bunch of people magically disappear right in front of my eyes, and hear about the same thing being documented all across the globe, and then some ultra-charismatic slimeball shows-up and starts using the numbers '666' to mark his buddies and starts insisting on creating a personal army and globalized economy, I'll probably know what's up.

This question perhaps encourages your fantasy a little more than I'd like, but: assuming your ridiculous, comic-bookish showdown of good vs evil is on the horizon, [i]what on Earth would possibly make you think that a majority of the people on the planet would decide to play on Mr. Evil's team?

If you're going to vote for Obama, you're actually supporting Anti-Christ without even knowing it! Slime-bag who wants a globalized economy... soon in charge of the mightiest army on Earth. Sounding familiar?

I'm an agnostic atheist who thinks you should love your neughbour.


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Kevin R Brown wrote:would

Kevin R Brown wrote:

would possibly make you think that a majority of the people on the planet would decide to play on Mr. Evil's team?

I automatically assumed Mr.Evil was god. I'm confused now.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day, christians will never admit the rapture ain't happening will they? It's been 2000 years, and they're as optimistic as ever.Talk about getting stood up.

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


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Cpt_pineapple wrote:Well, at

Cpt_pineapple wrote:

Well, at least your not totally retarded.

"you're" = you are

your is possessive

I know it's a just a typo, but I'm pretty sure this one's out of hand now. It's like an epidemic.

[edit]

See, 'cause I'm thinking, "my not totally retarded what? My not totally retarded ... cousin Frank?" instead of just instantly understanding what you mean.

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fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence


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LoveThyNeighbour

LoveThyNeighbour wrote:
Slime-bag who wants a globalized economy... soon in charge of the mightiest army on Earth. Sounding familiar?

Have you been reading my diary?

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fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence


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CNRK

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 I'm a theistic

 I'm a theistic evolutionist, and so are many other Christians. Please consider this when you label us as scientifically-backwards.


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A Devout Christian

A Devout Christian wrote:

 I'm a theistic evolutionist, and so are many other Christians.

I always hear this, but I'm yet to meet a christian that isn't a rabid creationist. In any case, the creationists will say you aren't a christian and you're going to hell, so might as well be atheist eh.

Oh those funny inter-faith fights..you can't even agree on one kind( Or even 10 kinds) of christianity but you want us to believe it.

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


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Quote: I'm a theistic

Quote:
I'm a theistic evolutionist, and so are many other Christians. Please consider this when you label us as scientifically-backwards.

OH!

I've been waiting for someone like you to come along.  Seriously!

I have questions for you.  Assuming you understand evolution relatively well, you understand that there really isn't a solid dividing line between species.  That is, all life is related, but with drift, mutation, and adaptation, some life gets so far away from other life that it can no longer reproduce with them, and we then draw lines of demarcation so that the textbooks will make sense.  Life is a continuum, not a set of discreet groups.

Also, you must understand (I hope) that there's no such thing as "the first human."  The evolution of man was a very, very gradual process, and only in reverse can we see that there is a big enough difference between two populations in the timeline to call them different species.  In other words, there was no point at which Homo whatever-the-most-recent-ancestor-turns-out-to-be-this-week popped out a completely human child.

I say all that to point out that the story of Adam and Eve is evolutionarily impossible.  This brings us to some pointed questions:

1) What of original sin?  Do you believe in it?  If so, who was the lucky bugger who, out of all the half a million years worth of ancestors, got chosen to do... whatever he (or she) was chosen to do, and cursed the rest of humanity for all eternity?

2) If original sin is a metaphor, what's it a metaphor for, and how does that line up with human evolution?

3) Who was the first human to get a soul?  Why didn't god mention any of this in the bible?  That Adam and Eve story is very misleading to us science geek types.

4) Assuming you know of the evolutionary origins of altruism (if you don't, I can recommend a slew of books for you) what justification do you have for God's decrees that "true morality™" is generally that which is completely opposed to the evolutionary origins of altruism?  Furthermore, how do you explain that Christian morality, as passed down historically and elucidated in the bible, actually defies the science of Game Theory?

5) How do you justify the Bible's stance on homosexuality when the science of evolution clearly shows it to be a normal part of natural selection throughout a large part of the animal kingdom?

6) What justification do you give for belief in an immortal, interactive soul when evolution and natural selection can account for all of the supposed "proofs" that people used before the discovery of DNA.

I'll appreciate it if you will number your answers so that I can keep track.  Thanks in advance!

 

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Just so you know, ADC, I got

Just so you know, ADC, I got you. I know you're an atheist and you're doing that silly atheist challenge.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Hambydammit wrote:Just so

Hambydammit wrote:

Just so you know, ADC, I got you. I know you're an atheist and you're doing that silly atheist challenge.

 

FSMdammit are there any actual christians left or are they all atheists?

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


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Atheist challenge?  *Opens

Atheist challenge? Puzzled

 

*Opens google*

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Some dufus challenged

Some dufus challenged atheists to come here and pretend to be theists to prove something... I'm still not quite sure what it's supposed to prove.  Why would anyone think we wouldn't ridicule people who come in and say ridiculous things?

It's sort of like challenging a bunch of evolutionary biologists to go to an evolutionary biology conference, stand up in the middle of it, and demand equal time for Creationism.  Seems sort of silly to me.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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I'd say it's more like if

I'd say it's more like if they went to a debate between people who believe evolution true and those who believe creationism true and pretended to believe creationism was true (I guess the idea was to see how long they could fool us? Tseting Poe's lLaw? ) If anyone went to a conference of evolutionary biologists and demanded equal time for creationism they'd likely be escorted out (or if they were recognized by other Biologists either referred for psychiatric treatment or scolded for carrying out such a joke. )

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