Atheism is not funny

marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
Atheism is not funny

My darling wife reminded me of something the other day. I am pretty sure she didn't intend on having any lasting effect on my outlook but she did none the less. She reminded me that I take myself far too seriously.

I can get up in arms about the topic of theism. It makes me insane sometimes.

At any rate, here's how it went down:

To preface, the comment surrounds the fact that I do not eat at Chic Fila (however the hell you spell it). I do not eat there because they close the store on Sunday in religious observance. I refuse to spend my money on a business that does so. I'm basically just voting with my dollar.

Lori, of course, LOVES Chic Fila. For that matter so do I. I just don't eat there.

So there we were, sitting in a cafeteria. I had my soda and she had her chicken and waffle fries. She was making the "mmm this chicken is soooo good" and "wow these fries are especially crispy today" efforts.

Then she through out a zinger that I didn't expect. As she dipped the waffle fry into her catchup she said with a big pout "too bad your god doesn't let you eat waffle fries"

My initial reaction, I must admit, was to be offended and respond to the rediculous jab. I didn't, thankfully. I took a second... she watched intently to see if I was going to pop off at the mouth... and then I recognized how absolutely funny that jab was.

I haven't stopped laughing since.

So, Lori taught me that I can't ALWAYS be serious about the topic.

Does anyone else take the topic so seriously that they forget to breath? It might just be me, I'm pretty bipolar Sticking out tongue


Sleestack
Sleestack's picture
Posts: 172
Joined: 2008-07-07
User is offlineOffline
You've got to pick your

You've got to pick your battles is all. Not everything is worthy of a fight, as there are sometimes unintended/unexpected consequences to them. Especially when it comes to a loved one. Good tasting fast food chicken is hard to come by though.

I think if you got a good laugh out of it and it was with your wife, that's a win.


JillSwift
Superfan
JillSwift's picture
Posts: 1758
Joined: 2008-01-13
User is offlineOffline
Atheism is never funny.Well,

Atheism is never funny.

Well, unless you have really good comedic timing.

Seriously (or not), I can get a little over-zealous about it all and that can be a bit wearing. It's nice to have someone around who will remind you to take a giggle-break.

Anyone know any good atheist jokes? Eye-wink

So the bartender goes up to this fellow that he thought looked depressed.

"So, what's wrong?" He asks, taking his role as bartender-cun-therapist too seriously.

"I lost my job." The fellow says. "I can't do the math it requires anymore."

"Well, that certainly sucks." The bartender helpfully says. "What happened that you can't do the math?"

"Well," the man explains. "A few weeks ago I decided I had to just admit I'm a rationalist, a skeptic and an atheist."

"Ok, so?" The bartender asked, looking confused.

"Well, " the man again explains. "I keep trying to reason with with the irrational numbers."

(Wow that joke sucked.)

 

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
JillSwift wrote:(Wow that

JillSwift wrote:
(Wow that joke sucked.) 

It did, it really did Smiling

I found a link with a few jokes on there nomorehornets.blogspot.com/2007/05/atheist-jokes.html

 

Yeah I take myself far too seriously. Between atheism, anarchism, and just being an asshole... it takes a lot of work!


MattShizzle
Posts: 7966
Joined: 2006-03-31
User is offlineOffline
I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a

I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a because they give money to extremist causes.


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
MattShizzle wrote:I wouldn't

MattShizzle wrote:

I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a because they give money to extremist causes.

Yet another reason my god won't let me eat there!


kostel25
kostel25's picture
Posts: 39
Joined: 2008-09-04
User is offlineOffline
I boycott the food in my

I boycott the food in my college cafateria because they sell halal (prepared in accordance with Islamic observance) sandwiches, and at times that is the ONLY food they serve.

I found that outragous and I'm fighting it, but some of my friends said I was being overzelous.

Was I?

What's the difference between Texas and Saudi Arabia? In Texas they execute you for murder, in Saudi Arabia they excecute you for having a Xmass tree.


MattShizzle
Posts: 7966
Joined: 2006-03-31
User is offlineOffline
No, overzealous would be

No, overzealous would be throwing or sneaking bacon into the sandwiches or spiking the drinks with booze.

Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team


kostel25
kostel25's picture
Posts: 39
Joined: 2008-09-04
User is offlineOffline
MattShizzle wrote:No,

MattShizzle wrote:

No, overzealous would be throwing or sneaking bacon into the sandwiches or spiking the drinks with booze.

 

OMG I would love to do that to a religious Muslim or a Jew. The whole pig-hating thing gets on my nerves. PIGS ARE CUTE!!!

What's the difference between Texas and Saudi Arabia? In Texas they execute you for murder, in Saudi Arabia they excecute you for having a Xmass tree.


Wonderist
atheist
Wonderist's picture
Posts: 2479
Joined: 2006-03-19
User is offlineOffline
Here's one from the link

Here's one from the link that I thought was good:

Quote:
An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

Wonderist on Facebook — Support the idea of wonderism by 'liking' the Wonderism page — or join the open Wonderism group to take part in the discussion!

Gnu Atheism Facebook group — All gnu-friendly RRS members welcome (including Luminon!) — Try something gnu!


Brian37
atheistSuperfan
Brian37's picture
Posts: 15861
Joined: 2006-02-14
User is offlineOffline
marcusfish wrote:My darling

marcusfish wrote:

My darling wife reminded me of something the other day. I am pretty sure she didn't intend on having any lasting effect on my outlook but she did none the less. She reminded me that I take myself far too seriously.

I can get up in arms about the topic of theism. It makes me insane sometimes.

At any rate, here's how it went down:

To preface, the comment surrounds the fact that I do not eat at Chic Fila (however the hell you spell it). I do not eat there because they close the store on Sunday in religious observance. I refuse to spend my money on a business that does so. I'm basically just voting with my dollar.

Lori, of course, LOVES Chic Fila. For that matter so do I. I just don't eat there.

So there we were, sitting in a cafeteria. I had my soda and she had her chicken and waffle fries. She was making the "mmm this chicken is soooo good" and "wow these fries are especially crispy today" efforts.

Then she through out a zinger that I didn't expect. As she dipped the waffle fry into her catchup she said with a big pout "too bad your god doesn't let you eat waffle fries"

My initial reaction, I must admit, was to be offended and respond to the rediculous jab. I didn't, thankfully. I took a second... she watched intently to see if I was going to pop off at the mouth... and then I recognized how absolutely funny that jab was.

I haven't stopped laughing since.

So, Lori taught me that I can't ALWAYS be serious about the topic.

Does anyone else take the topic so seriously that they forget to breath? It might just be me, I'm pretty bipolar Sticking out tongue

I do take the subject of theism seriously too, but in the end we are all human beings and if you don't have a sense of humor, you might as well shoot yourself.

Case and point. Everyone here knows I am not pollitically correct. All of my co-workers, without acception, are some degree from left to right of Christian.

Anywho, one of my favorite people there is a compete smart ass and remindes me off all my friends in highschool(not my enemies, MY FRIENDS) who were brutile in their jabs.

Anyway, I was teasing another co worker, as I usually do, about being from France and said, "Go back to France"

The other smart ass co worker spouted to me without loosing a beat, "Go back to church", the entire staff that was present burst out in laughter. I thought it was funny too. I had to give her credit for that one.

Kudos to where kudos is due, even when it is at your expense, when they are your friends.

In all our serious issues we must remember that we still have the same amount of eyes and toes.  Not me though, I road the short bus and wore hocky equiptment.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under BrianJames Rational Poet also on twitter under Brianrrs37


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
Protest

kostel25 wrote:

MattShizzle wrote:

No, overzealous would be throwing or sneaking bacon into the sandwiches or spiking the drinks with booze.

OMG I would love to do that to a religious Muslim or a Jew. The whole pig-hating thing gets on my nerves. PIGS ARE CUTE!!!

I have found that controlling where I spend my money is a constructive way for me to protest. Whether or not I am making a "difference" is not entirely the point. It's really for me. I can take heart in knowing that I have made a sacrifice (however small) for something that I believe in (or don't believe in!).

It gives me an outlet so I don't do things like sneeking bacon into the kosher (or whatever the hell they call it) food or otherwise sabatoging a religious persons meal or the like. My mini-protests are enough for me these days.

 

***

I loved the joke about the groceries. "I didn't know he'd have the devil buy them for me!"

That's some funny shit!


Sapient
High Level DonorRRS CO-FOUNDERRRS Core MemberWebsite Admin
Posts: 7580
Joined: 2006-04-18
User is offlineOffline
marcusfish wrote:MattShizzle

marcusfish wrote:

MattShizzle wrote:

I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a because they give money to extremist causes.

Yet another reason my god won't let me eat there!

I thought I told you it was ok to eat there once a year.

Please donate to one of these highly rated charities to help impede the GOP attack on America 2017-2019.

Support our activism efforts by making your Amazon purchases via this link.


JillSwift
Superfan
JillSwift's picture
Posts: 1758
Joined: 2008-01-13
User is offlineOffline
Sapient wrote:marcusfish

Sapient wrote:

marcusfish wrote:

MattShizzle wrote:

I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a because they give money to extremist causes.

Yet another reason my god won't let me eat there!

I thought I told you it was ok to eat there once a year.

Hehehe Laughing out loud


 

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
Laugh It Up Fuzzball

Brian37 wrote:

Anyway, I was teasing another co worker, as I usually do, about being from France and said, "Go back to France"

The other smart ass co worker spouted to me without loosing a beat, "Go back to church", the entire staff that was present burst out in laughter. I thought it was funny too. I had to give her credit for that one.

That's a good one, I like it.

I think the difference between that kind of light humor and the stuff that gets under my skin is this. The jab your co-worker took at you and the one my wife took at me were in fun. Meaning, they were just as much making fun of themselves as they were of you or me. That's what makes the punch line so funny, the absurdity of the thing.

In a different context, from someone who means those words, that is a different matter entirely. Someone telling me to go back to church or making fun of me for my stance on social issues is something that will, to some extent, get under my skin. At that point I'll either engage in an argument or I'll leave the situation alone as best I can.

 


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
Sapient wrote:marcusfish

Sapient wrote:

marcusfish wrote:

MattShizzle wrote:

I wouldn't eat at Chic-fil-a because they give money to extremist causes.

Yet another reason my god won't let me eat there!

I thought I told you it was ok to eat there once a year.

Well, I do eat there on the summer solstice.


Brian37
atheistSuperfan
Brian37's picture
Posts: 15861
Joined: 2006-02-14
User is offlineOffline
I was thinking that I could

I was thinking that I could move to Ireal and open up a chain of pork BBQ stands, like hotdog stands.

Or maybe I could move to India and open up a burger joint?

Or mabye I could open up a Circuit City in Amish country?

Or maybe I could get Rick Warren to sell his book at the next atheist convention and ask for a cut setting up the deal?

What? YOU GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS?
 

I was thinking about buying a hotel, and hosting two conventions on the same weekend. I was thinking about hosting an "Abstinence Only" convention along with a "Swingers Convention".

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under BrianJames Rational Poet also on twitter under Brianrrs37


Nordmann
atheist
Nordmann's picture
Posts: 904
Joined: 2008-04-02
User is offlineOffline
Uncyclopedia is

Uncyclopedia is funny:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Reasons_to_become_an_atheist

 

least I thought so ...

 

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy


darth_josh
High Level DonorHigh Level ModeratorGold Member
darth_josh's picture
Posts: 2650
Joined: 2006-02-27
User is offlineOffline
Brian37 wrote:I was thinking

Brian37 wrote:


I was thinking about buying a hotel, and hosting two conventions on the same weekend. I was thinking about hosting an "Abstinence Only" convention along with a "Swingers Convention".

 

LMAO! Wouldn't that just be the same as going to mass?

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.


Rich Woods
Rational VIP!
Rich Woods's picture
Posts: 868
Joined: 2008-02-06
User is offlineOffline
HA! ...Brian... We were at

HA! ...Brian...

 

We were at a Swingers convention where we co-habitated the Hotel with Hasidic Jews. We were relegated to the freight elevator, because they didn't want to interact with us *AT ALL*. Hypocritical cult member that they are.

Perhaps it was the girl on girl tounge kissing in the lobby.

Regardless...they are awful human beings


nutxaq
nutxaq's picture
Posts: 399
Joined: 2008-04-06
User is offlineOffline
kostel25 wrote: PIGS ARE

kostel25 wrote:

 PIGS ARE CUTE!!!

They taste good too.


JillSwift
Superfan
JillSwift's picture
Posts: 1758
Joined: 2008-01-13
User is offlineOffline
nutxaq wrote:kostel25 wrote:

nutxaq wrote:
kostel25 wrote:
PIGS ARE CUTE!!!
They taste good too.
Oddly they almost never taste good and look cute at the same time.


 

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


nutxaq
nutxaq's picture
Posts: 399
Joined: 2008-04-06
User is offlineOffline
JillSwift wrote:nutxaq

JillSwift wrote:

nutxaq wrote:

kostel25 wrote:
PIGS ARE CUTE!!!

They taste good too.

Oddly they almost never taste good and look cute at the same time.

Did you give it some lipstick?

 

"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon

Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.