Biking Jehovas Witnesses
Posted on: June 30, 2008 - 1:20am
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Biking Jehovas Witnesses
So, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend and dog, and all of the sudden, these two guys wearing identical black suits and helmets rode up in front of us and asked, "Excuse us, but could we have a moment of your time?"
I replied, "No. You may not."
"But it's about our church. Have you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart?"
"No thank you. Leave me alone."
"Okay, have a nice day sir."
What the hell is this? I can't even go to the park anymore without being pestered by Jehova's witnesses on bicycles? What's next? Skydiving evangelists? Scuba-diving Mormons?
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They've been doing that for decades. I usually have some fun with them pretending to be a satanist. Didn't know anyone could go that fast on one of those funky bicycles they usually ride.
"Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society." Thomas Jefferson
www.myspace.com/kenhill5150
Unless I'm mistaken, there's even a bicycle company owned & operated by a mormon who started doing this as a way to get bikes to fellow mormons easier. The brand is *looks over shoulder* Learsport.
If you're wondering why I looked over my shoulder, it wasn't it paranoia. It was at my own bike. When I was looking for one a mate who was really in to bikes and also an atheist described them to me along the lines of "If you can get over the fact they're made by mormons, they are sturdy frames and better components than you'd get from any other brand for the price. If you're looking for cheap bikes they won't get THAT much of your money."
Meh, I love my TR3240. Swapped the nobbly tyres for 1.3" slicks and added a few more things to it. Perfect for what I use it for, and when my fitness does get to a decent level (currently I would classify it as "clinically dead" ) I can get a drop-bar road bike, throw the nobblies back on and have fun in the nearby national park on the weekends.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
Next time I'm underwater, I'll be on the lookout for your mormon buddies!
Hee-he
Just tell them that you are a disfellowed special-pioneer.
They'll be biking away from you faster than you imagine.
For what it's worth, they themselves can be kicked out of their cult (and thus cut off from almost all of their current friends, social activities, financial dealings...) just by talking to you.
Wow. Them's powerful words!
I'm looking it up right now!
http://www.unlearnnow.com/NYCSubways-ReligiousSolicitors.html ...here's a little piece I wrote about being nagged by these religious douche bags...its like that scene in Airplane!
We get the Jehovah's Witnesses here too...and as someone of Italian descent...we tend not to like *any* witnesses...My wife now answers the door topless...that usually does the trick.
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
At least now I know to pretend I'm religious when I visit.
...
No, seriously, it's more than they deserve.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence