Where exactly according to Christianity, are hell and heaven located??
Offline Is there any attempt at an explanation for where these places are? Also can you have sex in heaven, considering sex for pleasure is a sin? Because if you cant have sex there then heaven would be hell for most people, which means hell is actually heaven....I think. Also do they ever mention wtf you do in heaven all day? Is it like a cosmic retirement home, or a spa or some shit? If the most appealing thing about christianity is heaven there should be a fucking brochure somewhere so that people know how good it is. But they dont seem to talk about it much, they seem to cling to hell to keep people in line. I think the most appealing concept of heaven I've seen is from Norse mythology. In Valhalla you drink mead and eat, have sex with valkyries, fight eachother to the death, come back to life and repeat the cycle again. Sounds pretty fun to me and the whole story is more fleshed out, Christianity is pretty boring compared to that.
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In school a rather enthusiastic, if daft, christian teacher tried to explain to all we little 7-year old potential soldiers of christ why heaven's location was a little "secret" (hell, on the other hand, was underground as far as she was concerned, whatever the implication that might have on plate tectonics). The reason, she said, was that heaven was a place where all blissful things abounded (at which her eyes would glaze over and her voice peter out to a whisper). It could take several minutes for us to haul her back into the land of the living, by which time the saliva was trickling down her left chin and her knees had begun to buckle slightly.
Poor lady (who had the looks and complexion of a rhinoceros's backside) died unmarried too ...
...but understand: the theology that I remember is Roman Catholic. Different kinds of Christians may give you different answers.
1. Is there any attempt at an explanation of where [Heaven and Hell] are?
A: Not really. They are, for lack of a better phrase, alternate planes of existence.
2. Can you have sex in heaven?
A: Not according to Catholicism; Jesus' comment in Mk 12:25 is understood to mean that existence in Heaven is so very different from existence on earth that you won't really miss sex. That said...many, *many* years ago, I ran into some individual theologian's speculation that...bear with me, here...existence in Heaven feels like one eternal orgasm, affecting the whole being of the person. I am not attempting to be salacious, and I am quite serious. This, of course, was considered reason to *not* have sinful sex here on earth.
3. do they ever mention wtf you do in heaven all day?
A: Well, the answer of my high school apologetics teacher was..."pray." Kinda makes you want to go right now, doesn't it?
4. But they dont seem to talk about it much, they seem to cling to hell to keep people in line.
Comment: Now you know why. Speaking of hell, some Fundamentalist Christians believe that Hell is--literally--inside of the planet. (Roman Catholics do *not* believe this.)
5. I think the most appealing concept of heaven I've seen is from Norse mythology. In Valhalla you drink mead and eat, have sex with valkyries, fight eachother to the death, come back to life and repeat the cycle again. Sounds pretty fun to me and the whole story is more fleshed out, Christianity is pretty boring compared to that.
Comment: Yes...yes, it is boring.
Conor
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"Faith does not fear reason."--Pope Pius XII
"But it should!"--Me
Heaven was SUPPOSED to be in the sky (clouds and what not)... NASA kinda killed that... permanently
Hell is still considered to be the center of the planet
I doubt it, i really do
*insert time is irrelevent and does not exist in heaven here* other then that, just bask under your stupid deity... theres not much you litterally can do, that isnt a sin >.>
Indeed, i always loved the concept of Valhalla... but correct me if im wrong but, isnt the valhallian day supposed to go something like...
*Wake Up
Feast until full
Death Matchs all day long
Every one gets resurrected for Dinner
Feast until full
Every one gets limitless Mead
Winners of the days matchs also get limitless women...
Sleep
BEST HEAVEN EVER!
violence, food, sex, alchol! how could you even hope to beat that?
Edit; strickly speaking from a biggoted male perspective... as women are forced to cook limitless feasts twice a day, serve the men, and then SERVE the men
(still beats christian heaven for a woman too o_O )
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Here's some fun:
http://web.eku.edu/flash/inferno/
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I was raised baptist and was told that people would have jobs in heaven. They never said what the options were, but apparently it'll be the kind of job that you can't wait to get back to. So, maybe making porn with really hot chicks or something...
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci